ok, I hate it when people tell me that I need to be careful when I make plans because I "might be sick". my parents are horrible about this. I wouldn't be surprised if that had an affect in me developing my phobia. just now, I mentioned how I had to call the doctor later to get an appointment for a physical and "college shots" before moving (which I am so scared about)... I said I could go next week, or the week before school starts (since I am going on a two week trip at the end of the month to a camp). my dad then says, "well, you should do it next week." when I reminded him of the after camp week, he says "well, what if you're sick that week?" I told him I don't think I was going to be sick, but he just has to say, "well, you may, you got sick last year!" (I did come down with a horrible cold last year, but I know a lot of the mistakes I made in regards to taking care of my health, and will try not to make the same mistakes this year). But I hate the fact that he has to bring that up! I try not to think of these things, but he or my mom or my sister always has to bring it up!! And the rules in my house are if I'm feeling a little under the weather, I'm not allowed to go out with friends, because that would "make my sickness worse." I can't make plans too far in advance, because I "may be sick." I can't make plans right after a busy time in my life, because the stress of being busy may "make me sick" for my plans!! I am paranoid enough, and then when I finally allow myself not to be, they have to bring those thoughts back up again! I am fine with going to college, but my dad keeps telling me constantly that if I go to parties, people WILL be sick there! and if I allow people to have parties in my dorm, they WILL get sick in my bathroom! He says it to convince me to not party, but all it does it make me worried! Now I will be extra-stressed when I move! And both my parents keep saying, "you are so worried about sickness now, I don't know how you are going to handle college." Wow. What a way to make me feel incompetent. neither know I have emet, or that emet exists. they think I am doing this for attention. but they know I have a problem with sickness!! they make me feel horrible and panicked, and now I worry that my camp will be jinxed because they keep bringing up how I got sick last year! It's even worsebecause my sisterdid that, "What happens if you get sick there?"a few months ago about my graduation party, and I actually did end up coming down with a cold while I was there! So I know it's irrational, but I feel that if someone tells me that getting sick at a place is likely,than IWILLbecome sick there! I hate the fact that no one in my family understands emet - but I know if I told them about it, they would just try to forceme to see a therapist, without actuallytrying to understand or help or be supportive at all. v_v I know because when I told my mom that I cut myself, that is the EXACT reaction she had - she just wanted me to see someone. But didn't do anything to try to understand me. So I just lied and told her I quit, when I still actually do it occassionally. I can't wait to move out of this house, and not have to putup with them, but at thesame time I am starting to worry - I have NO IDEAhow I'll handle it if someone is sick nearby me. If they are sick in my bathroom, I don't know how I'll everbe able to go into the room again. my sister v* in our upstairs bathroom, and I can't use it anymore, except to shower (because that is where my shower is) and even when I do that I feel stessed. And she was sick all the way back in Feb! sorry for this ranting, Iam just stressed out and mad right now!and starting to panic about so many things in my life at once v_v
Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Reply With Quote
