Ugh this stupid stupid fear. I try really hard to not let it rule my life and i make decisions to challenge it but sometimes it can be so hard. I went out tonight to some bars and clubs but it wasn't really that good so me and a friend decided to walk to my other friends and phone a taxi. *Graphic* As we walked back we passed v* twice on the ground, which i could kind of handle but then there was a man holding another man up and he had already v* and was obviously going to again. We weren't really close but i would definetly haveseen/heard had he done it while we were walking past. I looked away n didnt see/hear anything but i just felt kind of defeated.


I posted a few days ago about a little triumph i had but i know that faced with full on v* i would just freak out. It is so tiring to remain positive and control my anxiety. Im 18 and everything behind me has been filled with emet and i feel like everything in front of me will be aswell. I go to uni in 2 days so im freaking about that aswell, how im going to handle v* there....


Anyway sorry for the rant, i just needed to get some stuff off my chest....im sure il feel better in the morning xx