feelings of guilt, i’m over sensitive!

[katiepool129]

Hi

This isn't really to do with my emetophobia but i'm sure it's probably related. Recently, since my emets have got worse i have felt guilty for longer than usual about really stupid things. Like if i make a mistake in the car and a driver goes mad at me i am left for the whole day feeling guilty and obsessing over it. Yesterdau it wasn't even me who made the mistake and the guy still went mental even though it was HIS fault, but i still spent the whole day feeling bad and worthless. Whats really made me feel bad is that last week me and my boyfriend went to get some fish (really for him, but they had to stay at mines for this week) anyways, it had been 24 hours since we set up the tank and we went bk to the pet shop to get the fish, we wanted 3 but the women suggested if we didnt want to wait a whole week just to get one just now and see how it goes. Aparently you have to give the water time to adapt and get good bacteria in it. Anyways, we went for the one fish and the whole week she'd be fine but last night she was very slow and not really swimming about much, when i got bk from uni today she had died and i felt overwhelmed with guilt. I know it's stupid and we should have waited the full week before introducing fish into the tank but i had to flush her down the toilet and i felt horrible doing it.
How this relates to my emetophobia? I don't know. I have noticed that since my emets got worse i have become alot more sensative and i hate arguements with people and stressful situations. I dwell on it for hours afterwards. I guess i seem to like everything to be perfect and in order, i'm a bit of a control freak with my own life since the emets got bad. I hate being so over sensitive and weak. Guess i'm just needing some kind words right now and some reassurance that i'm not an awful person I know i really have to be able to allow things that are out of my control to happen (like v*) it's just so difficult when you've wrapped yourself in this safe world for so long to try and break out of it and face things that are horrible and scary.

Anyways, all these feeling started up from a fish!!!

Any comments or thoughts would be great.

Katie

[rubysoho120]

Sorry hun I know where you are coming from...I have gone through times like that too. I would say just try and relax about things...im sure things will go back to normal for you. Head up, and try to think positive.

[vicki5011]

Hi katie, what you have just explained relates to me so much, the last couple of years have been terrible, ive got a real problem with this guilt thing and it is related to the emet. you get to a point where you feel so low and like a freak thet you think that everything that goes wrong around you is your fault and to blame, then the guilt kicks in. My dr told me i was suffering from depression which i have suffered with before, i know hes right but i dont want to take meds for it again as they didnt help last time and i cant be done with all the side effects so im determined to beat this on my own. i was feeling really good for a couple of weeks but its now beat me again and im feeling so low and guilty about everything that goes wrong around me, but the support off the people on this site is amazing and making me feel a little stronger every day. so im gonna get through this!!! hope this helps a little katie[img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

[Galadriel]

Sometimes I get like this, just feel guilty over stupid little things, and I keep thinking about them and have trouble letting them go sometimes.

What can help is that I look at the people around me, and they make mistakes sometimes and mess up, but they don't dwell on it, they just go "oops sorry!" and move on. I think its harder tho if your self esteem is low, but sometimes I say to myself "well they can make mistakes and admit it and not let it consume them, why should I allow myself to then?" I know it isn't as easy as flipping a switch, it takes time, but telling yourself this everytime something happens , and it will probably sink in in time.

[hedgehog]

I feel like that ALL the time Katie - I know exactly how you are feeling. Please feel free to PM me or email [email protected] anytime for a chat. Ive had a lot of experience lately with feeling guilty over small stupid things and also over huge things that have really affected my life for the worse - so please dont hesitate to get in touch!

Take Care,
Jen x

[katiepool129]

Thanks for all your kind replies, makes me feel better that i'm not alone on this one. I will never loose that little bit of hope that i can get past this stage in my life... however long it lasts for.

Katie