Hubby going back to sea

[curly wurly]

I have just 32 hours left with my husband before he has to fly to Auckland and join his ship for 3 and a half months. Then it is just me and my children. It has been a horrible evening as he did all his packing and that always triggers off tears as it makes everything so final. My 3 year old son climbed into my hubby's suitcase and asked to go with him. That was too much for me. I had to leave the room.


I know I will cope, but I don't know how. I have to stay strong for my children, but inside I am feeling very weak and upset. It will be my 4th christmas without my husband. I have only ever spent 3 Christmas's with my hubby in the 10 years we have been together and only 2 birthdays.My son has never spent a Christmas with his daddy.


Sorry for moaning, I just can't sleep tonight. I wish my husband did not have to go away to work. I love himto pieces and when he has to go awayI always miss him so much.

[violet]

Sally,

Im so sorry that his leave has ended now

But remember, YOU CAN do this!, you managed it before and you can this time, we are all here for you and will give you all the advice we can!

No need to appologise for having a moan about this its a big thing to moan about, you have every right!

Try make these last 32hours the best you can and come back to us and have a cry when you need to!

**hugs**

xx

[curly wurly]

Thank you Violet, you are very kind.


We have had a fantastic time whilst my hubby has been on leave. He has had 14 weeks at home which is the longest he has ever had. It is just always so hard when he has to go back to work.


I know I will be alright, I have 2 lovely children to keep me busy. They are going to be very upset for a few days and I have to stay strong and help my children during this difficult time.


I am the lucky one really, I have our children, but my poor husband will be half way round the world with nobody. I wish we could all go with him.

[dreamer]

Gosh, it only seems like five minutes since you were so excited about himcoming home! I wish there was something I could say or do that would help. Would your hubby ever consider an onshore job, at least while your children are young? I hope his time away passes very quickly for you, and in the meantime you have all of us!

[curly wurly]

Thank you Dreamer for your kind words.


I wish my husband would consider an onshore job, but he does enjoy his job and says he could not get an onshore job which would suit him so well and pay him as well. I keep telling him I would gladly settle for less, but he is not prepared to look for another job however much I try ask him. I should be used to it after 10 years, but it never gets any easier to say goodbye.

[andee]

Oh Curly!! Time really did fly this time. You are sooo strong to cope with all this. I give you tons of credit because I rely on my hubby sooo much. Hope all goes well and I know you will be strong for your children. Wish we were closer. I would love to exchange emails if you would like, Mine is [email protected]. E-mail whenever......take care!</font>

[rubysoho120]

aw babe that is so horriable, but I know you can deal with it, your a
strong woman. can you celebrate christmas when he gets back? my friend
did that with her boyfriend he was gone for 9 months and she kept
everything to decorate with and did all the holidays including
christmas when he got home. we are always here to support you. Enjoy
the last days that you have with him. *hugs

[curly wurly]

Thankyou Andee and Ruby for your kind replies. Thankyou Andee for your email address.


It has been a difficult, emotional day and although my husband is asleep now, I just can't relax. He has to leave for the airport just after 6am. I feel horrible tonight, my tummy is in a knot and my head and throat feel funny. I am sure it is just stress related.


It is such a strange feeling that I can't really describe, but it suddenly feels like a big part of me is missing. I have to become more assertiveand make all the decisions, whereas normally I am the quiet one who lets my husband make the decisions. But worst of all, I have to say goodbye to my lovely husband who I have been with almost 24/7 for the last 14 weeks. He always leaves with big tears in his eyes and he is not really an over emotional person. It breaks my heart to see him so upset. . I can not even face going to the airport with him and he does not want me to. We both agree it would just make things harder.


Anyway, on a more happy note, I have January to look forward to. At least I know my hubby is comming back home to me. It is always such an amazing feeling when he is due home. In the meantime I have 2 absolutely lovely children to concerntrate on.


Thank you once again everyone for being so nice.

[donna1216]

Sally, I am so sorry. That must be so hard!!! Your poor children!! You aound optimistic about it, that's a good attitude to have!! If you need us, we are here!!

[mommykimmie]

Oh bless your heart. You're so strong, I'm sure you'll be just fine! Those kids will keep you very busy I bet! We're all here for you!

[kristin1980]

ohhh i soooo understand what you mean.. my husband is in the army and will be leaving in 6 months.. i still do have some time with him so i am trying to enjoy it but he will be in Iraq for anywhere from 12 months to 18 months.. i am NOT looking forward too it..


If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me, i have been through this before but not in a war situation.. he was in Germany for 6 months while i was in the states and that was hard enough.. so yes i DREAD the 12 months in iraq.. ugh.. its so hard and there are easy days and harder days and on those harder days just know you NOT alone by any means!


take care girl.. try to keep yer head up


Hugs

[curly wurly]

My hubby has gone now. It was a vey difficult goodbye. My 3 year ols son started crying and cried for about half an hour afterwards. My daughter was very upset too, though she did not really cry until I put her to bed tonight. I tried my hardest to hold the tears back but did not manage it. My husband was also very upset.


We have tried to get on with the day as usual. My daughter went to school and my son went to his preschool for 2 hours. This afternoon I took my son to the park to feed the squirrels which he really enjoyed, then we collected my daughter and took her for her swimming lesson.


This evening both children were upset. It is so hard seeing them so sad when usually they seem so happy. They are both sleeping now though. I am feeling very low now and just wishmy husband was here with me. I feel so lonely. I cannot even ring my mum as she is on holiday and can't get a signal on her phone. I have such a sore throat and headache. I am not sure if it is just the stress of everything or the start of something. I am sure a good nights sleep would make everything seem much better, but at the moment I cannot stop crying. I wish I could be stronger.


Well, sorry for moaning again. I'm sure I'll pull myself together soon. I get so annoyed with myself for getting so emotional. After 10 years I should be able to deal with it a little bit better.


Kristin, sorry to hear that your husband has to go away for so long. You must be very strong to cope. Make sure you enjoy all your time with him now.

[dreamer]

Awwww, I REALLY hope the next few months fly past for you Curly. It's horrible to think that you and your children are so upset. Lean on your friends and family and have a good moan here if you need to - that's why we're all here! Do whatever helps you to feel less stressed - a book, a bubble bath, tv... You'll be fine.

[suze]

I know it's a really tough time for you all right now, but I'm also glad that your time together was as wonderful as it was. Don't worry too much about being upset, or about the kids being upset either, it's perfectly normal and a very healthysign too...it shows how close you all are as a family. In a few days your children will seem fine again, you know how they bounce back and their cheeriness will make you smile once more. Let it out, don't be ashamed to cry, it's cathartic and probably just what you need right now.


You know you'll cope, you always do, you're a strong woman and a great mum, believe in yourself. And if you doubt it, come back here and we'll all remind you just how great you are. Thinking of you.

[kellybean]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I remember when you told us he was back, it seems like just yesterday. You are a strong person, because I could never live without my husband for long periods of time. You will get through this though.We are here if you need to talk.

[curly wurly]

Thankyou Dreamer, Suze and Kellybean for all your kind words.


Well it looks like the sore throat and headache must have been the start of something and not just me being stressed. I woke up about an hour ago at 1am absolutely in a hot sweat. Now I cannot stop shaking. My throat has been a bit sore since Sunday, but it was only yesterday that eating became difficult. Now my throat feels even worse. Even drinking is very painful. I was still convinced it was just stress about my husbands departure, but I took my temperature just in case. It is 39.4°C (103 f), so it looks like I have got something. I have just taken a couple of ibruphen and had a drink.


I feel a bit strange, but other than throat and head I am not too bad. I am going to go back to bed and hopefully get a few hours sleep as I have a really busy day tomorrow. I wish my mum was home as I know she would help me with the children. I cannot ask my MIL as she has been very unkind to my husband and myself and I really can't face her. She will just make me feel worse. It is my daughter's Harvest Festival assembly tomorrow and she will be devastated if I don't go. Then I have offered to collect my friends daughter after school as her mum has an emergency scan at the hospital. I really don't want to let her down. I don't know if I should go to the doctors or just try to carry on as normal.


Well, sorry for venting and thankyou once again everyone for your kind words.

[curly wurly]

Well, I have got through another day without my husband, but I am missing him so much and feel completely in a muddle. My son has been really hard work today. He keeps asking for his daddy and when I tell him that daddy is at work he starts crying and has had a couple of tantrums. When I have tried to comfort him he has been pushing me away. He is usually such a mummy's boy and it is really upsetting me. I know he is very upset about his daddy leaving, so his unusual behaviour is to be expected, but I feel helpless. I really don't like seeing my son so upset.


My daughter has been very good for me, but she was in tears at bedtime again. I am trying my hardest to stay calm and happy in front of my children, but it has been a struggle. I am not feeling too great. I still have such a sore throat and bad head. I think I should have gone to the Doctors today, but I was hoping it would go by itself. I think I will have to go tomorrow.


Sorry for moaning again, but it does help to vent. I have been bottling everything up all day trying to be strong for my children and now I just feel so tired and alone. I want my husband to be here. I don't care how much he snores or how bossy he is, I just want him here.

[Galadriel]

Hey Curly,

I am so sorry that you have to go through this, I can't imagine how hard it is, but the time WILL pass, it always does, and he will be back again before you know it. These first days and weeks will be tough, but things will get settled into a routine again, its fine for you to talk about these things here, dont ever feel bad about that. Do you have a way to communicate with him while he is offshore?

Maybe you could think of a project to work on with the kids while Daddy is away, and make it for him, like have the kids paint pictures or color some, and keep them all in a scrapbook for him when he returns, something like that. It may especially help the kids cope some.

[christi0126]

Curly-


Just wanted to check and see how you and your family are doing? I've been thinking about you and hoping that everything is okay! I know you are probably missing your husband

[curly wurly]

Thankyou Christi.


We are all fine thankyou. I miss my husband lots, but my 2 beautiful children keep me busy and happy. The first week or 2 is always the hardest, but I eventually manage to get on normally. I had a phonecall from my husband this morning. He is in Japan and is absolutely fine. It was great to chat to him. Thankyou once again for thinking of me.

[christi0126]

So glad to hear you are doing well! I know you are counting the days until he comes home [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Take care!

[tootpla]

I'm so happy to hear that Curly!! I know how hard it can be to be away from the one you love. My fiance was living in Florida for about 2 years, while I was in Maryland. He was taking care of his sick step-father and they didn't have a phone or anything, so we were only able to contact each other through letters in the mail. I know it's not the same as being across the world, and I am praying for your husbands safe return! Keep us updated! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[6pksummer]

Hey Curly...I give you a lot of credit. You are a very strong mom...woman...wife....to not be with your hubby on holidays, bdays...your poor son. That has got to be terrible! Isn't there something else that he can do so he is not gone so much? He always seems to be gone during the sv* season too...which makes it even harder I bet. Stay strong...if you ever need to chat, I am here for you!

[kutekim1217]

Where will he be going on his ship?