Oh No!

[curly wurly]

This morning I got up feeling fine, then my MIL rang and said she was comming to visit my children before they went to school. This made me a little bit anxious as I knew by the tone of her voice that she was not in a good mood. Anyway, after she left, my tummy felt really off. I put it down to being stressed out about my MIL, but it has gradually got worse. I have had d* 2 times amnd now my tummy is really churning and I feel a bit n*. I keep telling myself it is nothing, but I am scared as I have to take my daughter for her swimming lesson in half an hour. I would hate to be ill whilst I am out. It probably is just me worrying over nothing. I really don't need to pass anything onto my children. I hate this time of year.

[suze]

Who knows what is causing this, but it could be anxiety related. Is there anything you can take? As you know, I swear by motilium, it will get rid of the n*. I'm sure you won't pass anything to your children, you've gone through this before and they survived OK. Just do the usual hygiene stuff and they should be fine.

I really hope you are feeling better by the time you read this.

[Galadriel]

Hey Curly,
I'm sorry your stomach is feeling off. I wouldnt be surprised if its because you know your MIL is coming over. I know she is the source of a lot of angst for you.
Do you have any Imm AD you could take? That stuff helps me, its an anti d*.

Hey Suze, just a quick question but do you know if we might have that motilium over here (USA) or what the equivilent of it might be?

[rubysoho120]

Oh no. I hate that. I'm sorry your not feeling well. I'm feeling a little icky myself...I got called into work, and I wasnt expecting to work, that always throws me off...and I feel kinda n* and had some really strange potty. I hope your feeling better. I can't wait to leave and get it all over with. Sorryy our mil makes you feel so icky. Not a good thing

[suze]

Hey Suze, just a quick question but do you know if we might have that motilium over here (USA) or what the equivilent of it might be?

Domperidone is the active ingredient and apparently the FDA doesn't approve it for over the counter use in the US due to problems in women who are nursing. If you read this though you'll see that it's not that the drug is bad, it's just not suitable to be on "general sale"

http://www.fda.gov/cder/news/domperidone.htm

You can buy it online though:

http://www.inhousepharmacy.com/general/motilium.html

$30 for 100 tablets - this is really good value! I only take around one a week, just when my n* gets bad, and it really helps.

Anyway, hope this is of use. And Curly, hope you're feeling better!

[curly wurly]

Thank you Suze, Galadriel and Ruby.


Well I think it probably was just stress related as I am starting to feel much better now. The half hour walk to the swimming pool seemed to help. By time I got home, I felt alot better. I have not eaten any tea, but I am hungry now, so that is a good sign.


My MIL was really on form today. She insisted on walking with us to my daughter's school this morning. She waited until the way home and then started having one of her little tantrums. I was actually very strong at the time and asked her very calmly not to speak to me like that. After MIL had gone home I felt quite upset about it. Then at lunchtime she phoned up crying and asking why I keep upsetting her. I stayed strong and did not apologise like I usually do, but I still came off the phone feeling quite guilty and upset. I suppose that is what made me feel so yucky. Then as usual I assumed the worst.


Anyway,I am feeling much better now, but absolutely dreading tomorrow afternoon as it is my MIL and FIL's anniversary, so I am going to have to take a card and some flowers round. I know I have got to continue to be strong, but it is going to be hard.


Ruby, I hope you are feeling better soon.

[silver]

Curly-


I am so sorry that you have to deal with the stress from your MIL, it seems like she is a real pain in the butt sometimes. It seems like she is constantly doing something rotten to you...what a hard thing for you to have to deal with on a daily basis...I know what you mean about assuming the worst when it comes to your stomach...I do it all of the time. Hang in there!!

[dreamer]

Curly Wurly, you are either a saint or you have the patience of one! Your MIL sounds like an expert in emotional blackmail and manipulation. You have done a great job standing up toher - keep it up!! She sounds like a very bitterwoman. She is almost certainly the reason your stomach has been "off". I'm glad you're feeling better. If she gives you any grief tomorrow, smile sweetly and let it wash right over you. She'll hate that! Good luck!

[HDogg]

You apparently have a lot more class than I do. I would have popped her one a long time ago. Kudos to you for dealing with the mother-in-law from hell! I really hope it gets better for you!


Can you tell your husband to tell her to lay off? Would it do any good if he did? Does he know the way she treats you? Can he threaten to cut off contact with your kids if she doesn't stop treating you like crap? Something needs to be done--no human being deserves being treated that way! [img]smileys/smilies_29.gif[/img]

[sage]

Curly, your MIL is a real piece of work! O my GOD!!! You go girl. Just stay strong. Remember that "you" statements are a sign of emotional immaturity, wheras "I" statements are a sign of strong, well-integrated individuals. Any mil or anyone else who says "whydo YOU keep upsetting me" is the emotional equivalent of a 3-year-old. If I were her I'd be saying to MYSELF "I wonder why I keep getting upset all the time?" So just remember that, and don't feel guilty. She's in charge of her OWN upset! SHE decides if she's going to get upset by something or ignore it or laugh at it or whatever.


You use your "I" statements ....like "I am not willing to tolerate that sort of criticism anymore" or "I am unwilling to enter into this kind of a conversation" or even "that sort of criticism really upsets ME"...


keep at it! and do NOT waste one more second of your life in GUILT - geesh!

[Galadriel]

Wow Curly, she is still at it? Man thats rough.
You are handling it very well and don't feel guilty, she is the one acting like a 2 year old. Does she say reasons why she thinks you are upsetting her? Or does she just keep repeating "your upsetting me!" ?

I also wonder if you could tell your husband what she is doing and if he could have a talk with her to lay off. Does she do this when he is around, or only when she has you alone? I agree with Heather to tell him about it and see if he can't give her a talking to. Ugh what a pain in the arse MIL!

[curly wurly]

Thankyou everyone.


I spent all morning worrying about visiting my MIL(I had to as it was her anniversary). I collected my daughter from school this afternoon and we walked straight to MILs from school. I could feel myself starting to shake and felt s*, but luckily my daughter was busy chatting about her certificate she had been awarded in assembly. This distracted me from how nervous I was. My MIL was actually a bit nicer this afternoon. She was not overly friendly with me, but she did not spend the whole time finding fault, so it was bearable. She had her cousin and sister in law visiting as well, so maybe that was why she was on best behaviour, or just maybe she is realising that I am not going to put up with her criticisms and tantrums anymore.


My husband has sent an email to say how well I am doing to stand up to his mum. He has been telling me for years to stand up to her. She is always worse when my husband is away, but she is not very nice to my husband either. He is stronger though and ends up arguing with her all the time, so she knows when to stop with him, but I seem to get the worst of it as I am too quiet and don't like confrontations. I am not going to go back to how it was though. However hard it is now, it cannot be any worse than how it has been for the last 10 years.


Thankyou all once again, you have all helped me to stay strong.