Boyfriend Help

[fornever]

Hey Everyone!!



First of all, let me say that my boyfriend is amazingly supportive (of
most things) and loves me so much. We have been together for a year and
a half. He is my best friend, and I feel like he is the only person I
can talk to sometimes...



Last night, I freaked out when we went out to dinner, because I dont
tend to like eating out. I had just found this site the night before nd
brought up the fact that I found a name for my fear. After talking
about how hard it is to live with for about 2 minutes, he interrupted
me to tell me "It is all in my head and I am getting annoying"!!



Am I being a bad girlfriend?? I always turn to him, and this is a HUGE
part of my life. He realized I was upset with his comment and
apologized, but I'm not sure if I should accept it. He is at work right
now as an EMT, but tomorrow when he is off duty, he says he will talk
to me about it...



Does anyone else have a relationship like this? Should I talk to him? I really love him and don't want to scare him away...

[daffodil]

When I told my husband about this phobia, he thanked me for taking care of him and our kids when they were sick. Then he told me I needed to be desentisized, and jokingly offered to go in the bathroom and v* for me to help me get over it.[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]
Non emets just don't get it. Do talk to him, and try to help him understand what you are going through. It may help things, just don't expect him to truly "get it" the way another emet will.

[laneyb]

My hubby is very supportive of me, I told him a couple of years ago and we have been togerther for 12 years now. Once I told him he said it all made sense why Id been weird at certain times.


He understands why I get get panicked and freaked out, and has in the past done things like, texting me to tell me to walk a differnet way to walk to avoid v*.


The fact that he wants to talk about this is good,just explain to him how you feel and why and if necessary referhim to this site for more information.


Laneyxx

[glitta_fairy]

There's no way you're being a bad girlfriend... You've been honest and upfront about your fear, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I feel bad if I don't want to go out with my boyfriend, but as long as you're starting to make steps to overcome your phobia (no matter how small), no-one can blame you for feeling that way.


Like Daffodil said- non-emets just don't get it sometimes... I always try to look at it from my boyfriend's perspective- it must be frustrating sometimes when we'd planned something, and then suddenly I think I feel sick and refuse to go out or whatever the case may be. Your partner will never fullyunderstand your fear- but he can learn to understand how it makes you feel. I think everyone on here with a partner can relate to your situation... Emet will affect your relationship, but it doesn't have to be in a hugely negative way. As long as he respects you and accepts you - emet or no emet- you will get through times like this.


Let us know how it goes!


Kayla

[fornever]

So it's 9:00 p.m. here... I just got back from his house and I couldn't
be happier... You were all right! He is sooo supportive I couldn't ask
for more of him. We talked for like an hour and he told me he was sorry
for being rude and didn't realize how bad this effects my life. He even
said he would stop drinking if it scares me so much! I'm proud of him,
and myself for being so open.

[christianne]

Hi there!!

You're boyfriend sounds amazing......why can't more guys be like that?? My (soon to be EX) husband is not at all, dismisses me and calls me "childish", but we really don't spend any time together another so it really doesn't matter much to me. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]
Anyways, I'm very glad it worked out so well for you!! Things are alot easier if you have a really good support system, and it sounds like you definitely have that.
Take care!!

[laneyb]

Fornever, Im really pleased for you, hold onto him, he sounds like a good guy!!


Laney xx

[rubysoho120]

My boyfriend stopped drinking too for me...and it made me sooo happy...
Keep a hold on your boy becuase he seems like a good one

[metallikat87]

I wish my fiancee was as supportive as the ones you guys have. The last time I v*, I was coming back from the bathroom and I stepped on the cat's tail and I jumped, making a loud thump, he was upset at me because he thought I woke up his parents! So I yelled at him saying that "Well if you had just been sick you would be a little disoriented too, and it doesn't help when the cat lays in front of our bedroom door in the dark!"


I find out the next morning that his parents never woke up, the didn't hear me, but I did have a huge clawmark on my foot from when the cat got me. I told him to go v* and then step on the cat and see how he feels. He's been a little better but he still things my emet is stupid.

[kristin1980]

i wish my husband was supportive... ehh i posted about that in the private forum just minutes ago.. i am glad you have someone that is supportive as he is.

[katiepool129]

Thats great that he's been so supportive. My boyfriend (who i've been with for 2 and a half years) (one of whicih my emets was really bad) has been really supportive, he has admitted it's been difficult at time when he see's me upset or having a panic attack. But he says he loves me too much to let it get in between us and that he'll support me.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] He sometimes gets annoyed when he can't seem to understand why i'm against alcohol and binge drinking so much... it has caused some quarrels but we've decided to agree to disagree on that one. Everyones entitled to their own opinions.

Anyways, i'm glad he has been supportive for you [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[javabean]

Well at least your guy is supportive! My husband is supportive too, when we first started dating over four years ago and I told him about this, he thought I was kidding and he tried to joke about it (that's just his personality) but when he realized I was serious he became very supportive and will do all sorts of things for me. He will go out and buy me saltines or alka seltzer or whatever when I am laying in bed feeling n*. He takes great care of me, but sometimes he is just like it's okay you're fine, calm down and you won't feel so bad. I agree with everyone here, non emets do not understand the fear and anxiety that comes along with this. They are not trying to be non-supportive, they just do not understand. You are not a bad girlfriend![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[javabean]

He sounds amazing that he would stop drinking for you... hold on to that one!!

[brycesmommy84]

My bf and i have been together for almost a year and a half and i too just found this website..its funny how i found it, i was looking it up to prove to my bf how serious it is, cuz he gets mad at me for not doing certain things because there is a chance i might get sick, like taking birth control. He told me he thinks its stupid that i wont take birth control just because i "might" get sick..so yea i totally understand where everyone is coming from, we're ok now he told me he loves me and every little quirk about me, including the emet, but i know he still doesnt fully understand, and i dont expect him to, as long as hes is supportive and sensitive about it, im happy