A ray of hope.....

[peachykeen]

Hello everyone! I used to frequent this site several times a
day.....not so often anymore though. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]For several reasons.....I'm
beginning
to cope better with illness when it happens in my house, I have a
local emet friend who I speak with on the phone daily (I don't know
how I survived before I met her), and I'm just trying to get on with
life as best as I can. Honestly, it's really difficult for me to come
here often anymore....but not for the reasons that you'd think. It's
hard because I feel so sad for all of us. I think I'm bad in my emet -
it breaks my heart to read of young teenagers who are in much
worse shape emet-wise than I've ever been. It makes me sad that
we're all so "trapped" in this, and even more sad is that so many of
us seem to have given up hope of recovery.

I was about as bad as an emet could be last year at this time. I've
taken many steps to try to better myself, mostly for the sake of my
children (two girls, ages 1 and 2) and my husband. Because I think
living with me must be a nightmare a lot of the time. I've done
therapy, I've tried different meds, and I've just made myself deal
with it - I just don't have a choice. I don't think there are enough
positive stories on here, and I remember how much I enjoyed
reading about anyone who had made improvement. It gave me
hope that someday I could be "normal" too, or at least in a better
place than I was.

My kids both have nasty head colds. Gross "party favor" sort of
colds....you know, party favors where you pull the cord and
streamers shoot across the room? Think that, only with snot. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]
Last night I was giving them some cough meds, and my older
daughter swallowed it wrong, or got choked on it or something. She
started coughing - HARD.It ended with her standing on the kitchen
chair v*ing into the sink for about 15 minutes. I stood there, holding
her, wiping her mouth out, comforting her. For the first time in
my life I responded completely like a normal person would. Even
internally - my heart didn't race, I wasn't shaking, I felt no panic.
Sure, I knew why it was happening and that she didn't have an sv.
But a year ago and v* for any reason at all was just a terrifying
nightmare. My older daughter knows about my emet. I've talked to
her about it, and she knows that v* is "scary to mommy". And bless
her heart, after she was done v*ing she looked at me and touched
my face.....and said "You did a good job mommy". And off she went
to play with her sister. She had no fear - I haven't ruined her. She's
my hero. And life went on like it never had happened. I'm listening
to her play now, and can tell from her breathing that more than likely
she'll v* at some point this evening (she v*s whenever she gets
snotty).

So here's a little ray of hope for everyone out there who is suffering.
I hope you can take my little episode and see a bit of yourself in it,
or at least a bit of where you'd like to see yourself someday. Baby
steps.....baby steps.....we'll all make it someday.Edited by: peachykeen

[shiva]

Awesome Peachy! This makes me think there is hope for myself. What do you think is the main reason you started turning things around? Was it not coming here or did you start doing something else differently?

[Galadriel]

Aww your daughter is just so sweet. Bless her heart. I am glad you are doing better with it, you handled her getting sick really well (and she knew it too!).

[jodi054]

i'd love to be where you are with your emet for my kids and im trying so hard ... one day i iwll ve there i hope


thank you for your ray of hope there is hope for us all