Feeling victorious after v*?

[ginger_saves]

I don't know but does anyone else feel a slight bit of victoryif you ended up v* and didn't need to anymore after that? Mind you, I am thinking in a place where no one is around and you don't have embarrassment.I was thinking that the last time I did, I was gearing myself up for it and it was building up. I was horrified at what might come. Since I hate doing it in a toilet, I use bags,turn off the light,and go on the bathroom floorand just crouch into it ( my apologies if this is too graphic). I remember feeling that once it happened ( as horrible as it is), I wash up and just looked at myself in the mirror and feel this relief of ..."I did it..."I ended up doing it again later that night. It was even worse than the first. I was sure after that it was either an sv or Chinese food (I don't eat it anymore since then!!!)I was very scared and shaking more the second timebut I still thought "I did it again!! Bring it on!!"I don't know what made me sick in April, but I didn't even look at what came out. This was a week before my 30th bday, too..( great pre 30 event!!pfttt!)Anyway, has anyone else felt this way after v*? As scary and horrible as the thought is.[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]

[sheryl81]

I had a similar experience yesterday that I posted about in the experiences forum but I am still worried in a situation where the v* had a different texture I would be just as horrified. I am taking my psychologist the info in the treatment section and I want to start the exposure therapy.

Anyway, thats a good idea about having the room be dark! I never thought of that but I bet it would be a big relief to know you won't have to see what it looked like. I am gonna use that to help me calm down from now on, thanks!

[turtleiam]

I guess I felt like that the last time I had the sv. I know that's what it was as my whole family had it. I remember thinking, this really isn't a big deal, wonder why I panicked so much. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]


Great idea on the darkness. That might also allow me to go to my "happy place" instead of looking at my laundry next to me. No comfort there! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[chemicalemotion]

Sheesh, I do that EXACTLY! The last time I had a stomach flu and I v*, I looked at myself in the mirror and said just like you: "I did it... wow." That's crazy! I do feel somewhat victorious, I suppose, but moreso relieved that it's over.