Feel such a bad mum )-:

[suze]

My 10 year old son spent the weekend with his dad. When he came home around 3pm today, he was clutching his stomach and looked very pale. His dad said he hadn't eaten all day and had been very lethargic.


Well, obviously I quizzed him as to how he was feeling...he said sometimes he felt n*, but sometimes just in pain. I was really getting stressed, I find it hard when he is ill, and so I gave him a phenergan tablet.


I feel really bad about this...I have given my son medicine because I can't cope if he gets ill. I also tried to get him to go back to his dad's, but he wanted to stay with me.


The poor thing...his mum drugs him (the phenergan made him drowsy) and then tries to send him away. S**t, do I feel a bad mum. The thing is, I don't even know what's wrong with him. He managed to eat a little tea and is now asleep. He wanted to sleep in my room though, so I'm now watching every move he makes, thinking 'IT' is going to happen.


I hate this damn phobia.

[dreamer]

You are NOT a bad mum, and neither are any of us on this site. We are great at taking care of all our childrens' other needs, and we nurse them quite happily through all the rest of their non-v* illnesses. Your son will be aware of this. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you both have a peaceful night!

[suze]

Thanks Dreamer...I just hate making him suffer because of my own hang-ups. I hope the night will be OK too, though I've got a feeling it's going to be a long one, whatever happens!


Thanks again for making me feel better.

[rubysoho120]

I hope he feels better...and that you two are okay

[mommy2braylynn]

I am so sorry...I hope he feels better!

[katsamsmom2]

as soon as my kids say they feel n etc...i give them meds. I feel bad about it. My oldest knows about my emet....and will usually ask for something once she v's so she can feel beter. the youngest will not take anything....the phen supp...because it is scary for her. she would rather v than take that. I did get my doc to rx me some of the compund phen...the kids you rub on your wrist...i hope that works good. But i understand. I dont want to deal with it....yet i am afraid if i dont deal with it that things will not get cleaned and sanitized correctly....ya know?

[christianne]

Hi there!!

You are definitely not a bad mother, and I know just about every single other mom on here has felt the exact same way you do at one time or another. Myself included!! But we are all wonderful mothers with a truly horrible phobia. I have had some awful reactions when my son's been ill, some of them too shameful to admit, but I know I love him more than anything and cry over the fact I can't handle it sometimes. I don't have any meds I can give him, but you can bet if I had some I would have done the exact same thing you did!
Do not be so hard on yourself---I know that easier said than done, but you're doing a great job already by just being there with him. Again, when my son's been ill I've literally ran away, and I wish I could've done what you're doing.
I hope you're night goes well and hope he feels better!!

[xxsophiaxx]

aww you're NOT a bad mother, i probably would've done the same.

[jennyleigh1975]

suze, you are soooooo not a bad mom!!!! I too am guilty of giving one of my children Phenergan out of fear. I dont do this often, but have done it on 2-3 occasions. The times I did this was when my hubby was at work and I was here alone, which always makes it harder for me to deal with illness. I always feel bad afterwards too. So if you are a bad mom, Im right there with ya! I really hope that there is nothing wrong with your son. Keep us posted.

[daffodil]

Don't feel bad, Suze, if I had something to give my kids, I probably would have. You are a great mom!
I hope your son feels better soon, and your night is uneventful.
BTW, moms, how do you get meds for your kids? Do they have to be sick, or do your doctors give them to you in advance, to give to them if they are ill?

[jodi054]

dont ever think your a bad mum .... how is he feeling this morning ?

[crimgoddess]

The fact that you can acknowledge that you made a mistake in giving him meds because of your own problem, not his, I think makes you an even better mom.


Remember how you feel right now- the next time a situation like this occurs, think back to this, and how it made you feel. I know the anxiety of "what if" is pretty horrible- but you know you can do it. You have dealt with them quite nicely when they were ill previously- even when you daughter became a veritable vomiting machine! You don't NEED to give them the drugs- especially since if they have a stomach virus, it's not like they won't be contagious (how do you like that double negative?).


How is he doing today? Any better?


*amber*

[jandub]

I think its ok that you gave him medicine, even if it made him sleepy. My son's pediatrician prescribed phenergan for illness, so if he was n* and in pain, why not make it better for him? Especially that he'd been that way all day, I would have done the same thing. He probably needed the sleep anyway and its hard to rest when you're in pain. You're doing just fine. Keep us posted! Janna

[suze]

Thanks everyone for your kind words, they really did help. My son seems fine today, albeit a little spaced out (probably the phenergan!!). I kept him home from school, just incase, but he has eaten normally all day and so will be well enough to return to school tomorrow.

I was looking on the web last night about abdominal pain in kids, and it can often be caused by psychological/emotional problems. My son is still struggling to come to terms with my separation from his dad, so maybe this is manifesting itself as physical pain. I will keep a close eye on him and see if it continues.

Amber, you're right, I do cope with my v* machine of a daughter, but for some unknown reason, I find it harder to deal with my son. Maybe because he's sick less often, maybe I'm over-protective (first-born child syndrome!), maybe because he doesn't handle it as well. Who knows?

how do you get meds for your kids? Do they have to be sick, or do your doctors give them to you in advance, to give to them if they are ill?

You can buy phenergan OTC in the UK, it's marketed as an anti-histamine/travel sickness remedy, but it has anti-emetic properties too. It is safe to give to children so I didn't give him anything dangerous, I just gave it for unnecessary reasons!

You don't NEED to give them the drugs- especially since if they have a
stomach virus, it's not like they won't be contagious (how do you like
that double negative?)

He, he...if you were one of my students, you'd have just dropped a grade, lol!!

Thanks again everybody, it's nice to know that I'm not as bad as I sometimes feel!