OT-Brother in law in trouble agaon

[katsamsmom3]

I hoope i have posted this in the right area


My bil is a good guy. He is also a METH head.


Every year he does the rehab thing....stays clean a year...then goes back to it.


Right now he has been missing for 3 days and stole his parents car (he is 38, still lives at home and my mil lets him stay and tells his step dad it is none of his business) we washed our hands of him this year (me and my hubby)


Are we doing the right thing? He gets treatment then goes to meetings and never gets a sponser.


He never has money


and my mil lets him stay at her house KNOWING that he does this.


My DH dad was an addict and died 20 years ago by putting a gun to his head.


so mil thinks as long as bil is home...he is safe.


I understand addiction...i have been clean for 12 years now.


I have a family etc..that has kept me clean


he has no excuse!


What to do?

[christianne]

Goodness, that's a tough situation!! I'm so sorry you have to go through that---there's been people very close to me who've been addicted to drugs and it really tears a family apart. Not to mention meth is one of the most evil substances around. My heart goes out to you!

I don't know how great my advice is, but I would do exactly what you have done. I would cut all ties and try to move forward. It's tough, but better than letting things continue on the way they are. Your MIL needs to step up and stop enabling him---I don't mean to attack her or anything, but letting him get away with stealing and doing drugs in her home is just helping the addiction to continue. He will never try to get clean if he hasn't hit rock bottom, and your MIL is there to make sure he doesn't.

I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking than seeing your own child be torn apart by drugs, and I feel awful for her too.

In my opinion you are doing the right thing. It cannot be easy for you or your hubby to watch him be destroyed by drugs, but at this point there's nothing much anyone can do to help him. Only your BIL can make the decision to get clean, no matter how much you all want him to.

By the way, great job on getting and staying clean! You should be very, VERY proud of yourself!!!!

[nicki77]

You are absolutely doing the right thing by washing your hands of him while he continues to use. You might also let him know that whenhe does decide to get clean, you will be there for him. A former addict myself( never meth, though) I know that he won't get clean until he decides to, it won't work until then. I went through rehab 6 times...yep, 6. I tried, but couldn't kick it. One day I woke up and said "no more, Iam just tired of living like this". I didn't need rehab, meetings, therapy, etc. that time. It wasn't easy. Almost 9 years later I occasionally smell weed in the air...get a runny nose when I see anything of a white powdery nature...see a syringe and feel my veins pop. But I don't wantthat life. I am thankful that I had supportive peoplethere when I got clean. I am more thankful that they were not there to watch me feed the addiction. Hang in there...one day it will be better.

[katsamsmom3]

that is a life i would NEVER go back to. pot, coke,,,,,,it is a bad way to live. getting pregnant with my 12 year old was the best thing that could have happend to me!


Thanks guys for making me feel better!

[tree1211]

My heart goes out to you and your family. I can only imagine what it must take to have to go through that.


My prayers are with you and your family, hopefully he will come home soon an can get some help. Your MIL can probably use a hug too.


XXXX

[daffodil]

I think you are doing the right thing. It is hard, but you don't deserve that bs. I have addiction in my family, and it is very, very hard to deal with. Are you attending any nar-anon meetings? That may help, and you can talk to people who have been there.