What Happens When The Worst Occurs...?

[stephaniesmith]

I wonder if this is just me, or if others go through it, too....

My phobia tends to go in phases. It ebbs and flows. I can be fine for months, eating and sleeping normally, not thinking about v* thousands of times a day, etc....and then, all of a sudden...WHAM! I'm reduced to a sniveling MESS. I've started a blog, hoping to talk my way through it, or figure out what triggers the feeling. Does anyone else have phases like that?

Also, does anyone else find that, sometimes, when the worst occurs and someone gets a sv* or fp* or the flu....do you thik afterwards that all your fear was for naught, and it wasn't all THAT bad? Last time my son got s***, it was fp. He v* like 7 times in four hours. The last three times, I even managed to stay in the room while he did it, and managed to clean up. For a while after that (once I knew it wasn't contagious, of course), I felt silly for all my panic. But then, now that flu season is here, and I hear all these horror stories at work, I am all panicked again, even though, intellectually, I KNOW that the next time, it still won't be as bad as my fear.

I hope I'm explaining myself coherently LOL...I just really don't know how to express it.

Stephanie

[veganmamaof3]

Yes, my family (all but me) all came down with a sv* SIMULTANEOUSLY and granted I was a nervous wreck, but that motherly instinct kicked into high gear and when the actual v*ing was occuring, I couldn't walk away from my kids I took charge, and VERY temporarily was relieved it was nearing the end of the v* and told myself and truly felt that it wasn't as bad as I build it up to be.. however the fear unfortunately is back, maybe even a little worse than before because now my fear is that they are all going to catch it again.. I don't even want to take my son to school anymore because of him picking up a bug there. Obviously I take him to school, but I am almost in tears when I drop him off. The human mind isa mysterious thing. I can totally relate to you.... remember, spring is almost here!![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[sage]

Stephanie - your feelings are absolutely normal. First of all, the anxiety level in phobics often does "ebb and flow" usually based on how much anxiety there is in your "household" in general, and also your life in general.


As far as vomiting goes, it really is a big fat nothing in and of itself. It's how sick you feel that's really nasty (the nausea, achesand other symptoms). The thing is, we all have to remember that our problem is really not vomiting - it's anxiety. The anxiety is what is causing us to feel horrible all the time, terrified all the time, and catastrophizing often about something that regular people do all the time and it's nothing to them. So if you can work on getting rid of the anxiety, then the vomiting won't be a big deal if or when it ever happens.

[abbey_16]

I do find it comes in waves but mines more like months.. but it will be more like for months i will panic everyday and think about it all the time then i will have maybe a week where im not constantly thinking about it... i dont get much of a break unfortunatly [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


Answer to your other question i did find last time that it wasnt as bad as i expected it to be, my fiances mum brought a SV home to the house i was living in at the time (February 07) everyone actually V* with it (we think it cud have been noro) apart from me i dry heaved as i had been taking stemetil all day to protect myself.. afterwards i was like.. wow! that wasnt that bad afterall.... and for a month or so i wasnt scared anymore.. but then it all came back out of the blue and i dont know why all i can say is i wish it didnt [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[worrygirl]

The majority of myanxiety is related to cleaning "it" up. Seriously, I would not be so freaky if there was a guarantee that anytime my dtr got sv* that I would not have to clean "it" up.

[devirose]

My phobia is alwayswith mebut the worst times do come in wavesof a few months at a time. Often it has been due to a life changing event like when I moved in with my hubby from my parents house or I felt really stressed in a new job. I don't take change well. Sometimes it just occurs without warninig. Last yearmyemetgot really bad after an sv. I never v* but had d* for days, high fever and extreme n*.The experiencestill haunts me now, I didn't get desensitized. Maybe because it lasted so long and the pain and n* were so bad. I don't have kids so I can't speak to dealing with others when they're sick. Right now, aftermuch therapy,I am going through a good phaze......keeping my fingers crossed!

[stephaniesmith]

Thank you all so much for responding. It's so good to know I'm not the only one who feels a little silly sometimes, realizing it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Interestingly, I've been talking to my mom and grandma, trying to go over events in my childhood that might have brought this on, and my grandma has a theory...she feels it's a control issue, based on the fact that when I was a child, I often would keep myself from going to the bathroom for weeks at a time. She feels it's worse when I feel my life is out of control...after all, when do you have LESS control over your own body than when you're v*ing? When do you have less control than when someone else is?

Stephanie

Edited by: stephaniesmith

[worrygirl]

Stephanie that is very interesting. I too went through a phase in childhood where I would not go to the bathroom. To this day I cannot tell you why either, or even how I overcame it. Strange huh?!

[scaredycat82]

It comes in waves for me too, right now, I feel ok about everything, pretty much. Last week I was pretty bad as DH had a sv, and he used the downstairs toilet, so now I can't use it.


I am going to keep with my psychologist sessions now though, usually I only see her when I'm having a really bad anxiety attack, but I know to get over this I need to persevere through the good times too.


Sometimes if/when I am stressed it will cause me to feel nausous (sp?) and it can also trigger an anxiety attack.

[penny77]

Stephanie and worrygirl - I am sensing a pattern here. I also refused to go to the bathroom when I was little!! I don't remember why I wouldn't go, but my parents tried everything in their power to get me to use the bathroom. I remember drinking mineral oil in grape juice! Ewwww. Like worrygirl, I have no reasons for this happening, and have no idea how or when I overcame it.


About how old were you when this happened? I think I was anywhere from about 3-5?

Edited by: penny77

[worrygirl]

I was a few years older, like 8. And my parents tried everything in thier power too! Blech!

[sage]

I had "bathroom" issues when I was a little kid too. And always tummy problems. I was afraid to go #2 at school when I was 9 or 10. Weird how general anxiety in a child gets channeled into stuff with the G.I. tract, eh?

[worrygirl]

I never went #2 at school, and, (probably TMI), but to this day I will not go in public restrooms.

[seventhquest]

I very much have phases...sometimes I'm almost completely fine (like, I get periods of "emet remission" - most recently for almost 3 years), then other times it's just out of control. But that must be pretty normal, judging from what everyone else has posted. And it always gets worse with stressful changes and increased anxiety. As a kid, mine would always be worse when I had to change schools (first year of middle school, then high school, then going off to college). I just moved last May, and my emet definitely came with me! lol


I think a blog is a great idea. In times where my emet was not so bad, I've noticed that I definitely have some triggers. Also, if you can go back a read entries from "good periods", you may be able to train yourself to think like you did during that period. Not sure if that makes sense? I guess for me, when I have my little "remissions", Ican truthfullytell myself that v* won't kill me and it's no big deal, etc. Now I've learned to tell myself that all the time, even if I don't quite believe it, and can use that wayof thinkingto calm myself during panic.

[stephaniesmith]

Ok, now I'm REALLY fascinated. I never imagined that others had the same childhood problems as I did. I was the same way...to this day, I can't pinpoint when it stopped or what caused it to stop. Nor did I ever correlate it to this phobia, but now it appears there IS some correlation. I had to do the mineral oil thing, too, Penny77, only it was in strawberry kool-aid...to this day, I can't drink it lol.

I would literally hold it for weeks. I ran the gamut of 'treatments'...laxatives, mineral oil, enemas, etc...

I can't tell you all how excited I am (sounds weird, I know) that others are like me. I always thought THAT particular problem was totally out of the norm, and I was probably the only kid that did that.

[sage]

This may be OT, but there are a whole group of people very similar to us but who are afraid to defecate as adults. And yet, of course this has to happen occasionally. But you should just hear the hoopla of anxiety they go through when they "do it". Which proves to me that just making an emet vomit will not cure them! And I often have to argue this case to other therapists.


If you type into google "fear of defecating" or something like that you'll find the proper name of it and the discussion forums. They're just like us!

[worrygirl]

Hmmm, I guess I have emet and parcopresis. What is up with that? I don't remember being anxious as a child. This is fascinating.

[stephaniesmith]

That is interesting to me, how these fears get all tied up in your digestive system. I had quite a lot of anxiety as a child, though, so I'm quite sure that's where it came from. Another interesting coincidence I noticed, though I'm sure it's correlation rather than causation; Every time I can ever remember v* in my LIFE (even as an adult), 6-9 months afterward, we moved into a new house. I'm beginning to wonder if it might be that I associate v* with the fear and uncertainty of yet another new house, new school, new people, etc....

Stephanie

[penny77]

Stephanie, I can't drink grape juice to this day! LOL! My mom would put it in my little tea cups (from my plastic tea set) to make it more fun, and I hated it. I am nowhere near like this as an adult though. I don't like public bathrooms because of the germs, but I will go anywhere else with no problem. This is very comforting in a way....I always thought I was alone.

[pvm1955]

My emet is pretty much under control and has been for over 30 years, so it isn't something that necessarily goes in phases for me.I generally don't think about it all that much, but I do think about it when winter arises and the flu/sv season is upon us. ThankfullyI don't get sv's and when I do get the flu I never *v*, but if I am around someone who has kids, Ido have concerns that an sv will be brought into the office and spread. It actually happened this year when a colleague got an sv at work and had to leave. Fortunately I wasn't around her when she got ill, but I was around her as she was coming down with it - she looked ill actually - though I was not actually exposed. I was concerned initially, but this quickly passed. I try to control my anxiety level about it, which helps immeasurably.