xx..please read

[kirsty22]

Hey guys
Im 22....I have suffered with emetophobia all of my life. Although I love my family with all of my heart and I know they did the best they could helping me battle this phobia, we all agree that if there had been more specific help and advice available to parents and family members in dealing with a child with emetophobia, growing up would have felt less isolated and terrifying for me and would have resulted in my family feeling less helpless and to blame....we all know that emetophobia is seldom talked about, it is probably one of the most difficult phobias to grasp. Emetophobia is also hugely misunderstood, I feel for little kids and teenagers who are battling this awful fear on their own and I feel for parents who just don't know where to turn...who think they have failed their children and who just desperately want their kids to be ok. I have never met a fellow emetophobe, I have heard on a few seperate occasions that a friend of a friend knows someone with the phobia. As a child I longed to have someone to play with who understood exactly how I felt...someone who wouldn't make fun of my little 'quirks'. My mum also told me that she would have 'given her right arm' to have had someone at the end of the phone who was going through the same thing as a parent....someone to talk to..share advice...reassure. Emetophobia is a struggle to live with but it's almost equally as hard for a mother or a father to watch their child go through such hell. I am currently in the process of setting up a channel of support primarily for parents whose children/teenagers suffer from emetophobia. I feel that if my parents had felt less isolated and more knowledgeable about how to deal with my phobia it might have had a more positive effect on me and perhaps my phobia wouldn't have been so extreme today. This is in no way about blame...parents always want to do best by their children, it's about providing support, knowledge and positivity....Any feedback that anyone has on whether or not they feel this would have been beneficial to themselves and their parents in those crucial years would be appreciated massively. I'd really love to hear from parents whose children have the phobia...if they feel this would help.
Thank you for reading...your all so brave and wonderful..xx

[ashes]

hi kristy, I dont have any kids, but I am definitly an emet, and i know for a fact that my mom wants to understand so badly, and she always has. She worries about me and feels like she has failed me because she cant seem to find anyone to help me. my issues are extreme..I hardly ever leave my house, and cannot hold a job or finish college because I am so paralyzed by fear. I think that anything that helps non-emets to understand would be an awesome thing. I am 27 years old, and tired of living my life by the rules of my phobia. I cant even find a therapist who understands what this is. I also longed for a friend my whole life who would understand why I am the way I am, but I have never found one. I hope that you are able to help famlies understand. Good luck.

[cmnava]

Thank you for being so concerned and dedicated. I think your channel of support is a wonderful idea and I think it could also be used to educate people who don't understand this phobia (like my mother). I'm 23 yrs old and I have struggled with emet my entire life, my mother has always ridiculed me and teased me about it. I've never gotten any type of support from her about this, and it still hurts very badly. I believe that if my mother would've been more educated about this phobia maybe she wouldn't be so negative about it. I too struggle with having a social life. I have no friends and rarely go out, which makes for another reason for my mother to put me down. Nobody understands how much of a negative impact this phobia has on people. And I believe with more caring individuals like you, who want to make a difference, this could be something that we emets can get through successfully and reach a goal of living a normal life. Again, thank you.

[kirsty22]

Your replies are so moving they made me cry. I know first hand how debilitating this fear is...I know how it effects your life in every single way...I know how lonely it can make you feel...how misunderstood. I feel like I have a responsibility as an emetophobe who has battled with all of these emotions to help...educate and provide the world with a huge amount awareness so that little children and teenagers don't have to feel so alone and scared, and to give parents the correct tools (SPECIFIC to this phobia) to be able to provide positivity and consistency into their child's life. I can't imagine how hard it must be for parents watching their children battle through each day but with understanding...positivity and the correct support I think the child's life would be impacted so much more positively. Again...feedback would be wonderful. Id be so interested to hear from non-emet parents also...who feel that direct support for children/teenagers specifically suffering from emetophobia would be beneficial to both their children and themselves.
I feel connected to every one of you...I am in awe of your bravery.
..xx
p.s - How relieving and wonderful would have it been to have had contact with other children with emetophobia when you were a child? To feel understood...to feel 'normal'...I feel relief just thinking about it...that's what I aim to achieve............xx

[allypally.]

Hi Kirsty,

I think what youre doing is really fantastic and truly admirable. Im also in the UK, so if you need any help and support, I am willing to do anything I can.

As a child emet, I felt so isolated and alone. My parents didnt understand and didnt help me at all. I was so scared all of the time, especially at night when I used to have nigtmares/night terrors and panic attacks on a regular basis. My Mum still feels guilty and wishs she had known what to do, but she had nowhere to turn and noone to help. She still beats herself up about it, but like you said, its not about blame. This phobia is kept so secret and noone ever talks about it, people need to be more educated and more support is definately needed.

Recently, I was at home (im 31 now and been an emet since 6), and I heard a load of noise out the window. There was a little lad of about 10 on a bike, and he was coughing (sounded like whooping cough), and eventually v*. I was watching, and it was really awful and freaked me out completely. However, he was with a little girl who looked no older than 5 or 6, and another girl who looked about 11. As soon as the little one saw the boy v*, she went into a complete state of panic. I watched her have a panic attack. She cried and tried to run away, but they wouldnt let her and clearly didnt understand. My heart bled watching this, and it made me cry. I saw me in that little girl. I will never forget that. I wanted to go out and put my arms around her and tell her its ok. ButI obvioulsy couldnt. [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]
I could see noone understood her, they called her names and told her off. I felt so so sad.

So I think what youre doing is great and well needed. I wouldve given anything to have had someone understand and help me as a child, Im pretty sure I wouldnt be the way I am now If Id had some help and support.

xx Ally xx