Will it ever stop

[kiwi607]

I can't believe that I am 27 years old and afraid of vomiting. I do continuous research online about incubation periods, recent epidemics and God knows that it makes me feel worse. I hate to travel, eat out in restaurants, travel in a car, go grocery shopping, go to work, pretty much anything that could cause me to hear about someone who is sick or being away from home and becoming sick. When I say out loud that I am afraid of vomiting I know how stupid it sounds, but my mind doesn't shut off once I hear about someone who was sick or if I even think for one second that I could possibly be sick. I believe that I single handedly support the Purell enterprise. My hands are so dry/cracked from washing them and disinfecting them, I’m afraid to have a bowel movement with the chance that it is diarrhea which is usually then accompanied by vomiting. I do currently take Cymbalta and Klonopin...also I have started therapy. It seems to be working a little bit, but I still can’t shut my mind off when it comes to vomit! Will this fear ever stop? Will I ever be able to enjoy traveling or a vacation? I don't understand how therapy works, but I feel like I go there and walk away with nothing. I know I have only started with a very long process of therapy, but I feel like I am losing a battle to myself. I know this post is scatterbrained and unorganized, but I can't live anymore. Nothing makes me feel comfortable. I can't EVER relax...constantly thinking about vomit/being sick/catching a bug...etc. I just don't know if it will ever go away...is there hope...am I completely crazy? Will I ever be able to be pregnant with the fear of morning sickness? I'm surprised that I was even able to start taking Cymbalta without freaking out about the possible side effect of throwing up....I just don't know anymore…any advice/hope from my fellow phobic’s?

[kendall]

oh its ok hun we all know what you mean just talking it out is the best to do

[kiwi607]

I just want to get over this fear...is there anyone out there who has? Is anyone else on meds b/c of this? If so, have they helped?

[prncesspnk]

welcome to the site

i know, this phobia really does suck i've been dealing with it for
almost 17 years now, since i was 4. i've tried therapy, but it hasn't
done much for me at all (i'm actually returning to therapy this week
as my phobia has gotten totally out of control in the last 8 months or
so... hopefully she can refer me to a good specialist; i don't care
what i have to do, i'm going to overcome this one way or another).
this site has definitely helped me tons. it's great to talk to people who
100% understand you.

one thing i want to point out is that d* is rarely accompanied by v*
(especially if you're a nervous person or have IBS). most of us on
this site have frequent d* and rarely, if ever, v*. i try to keep that in
mind because i have d* a good 3-4 times a week but i haven't v*ed
in 14 years. i'm not sure if hearing this helps you at all, but i know
you did say that you're afraid to go because you're afraid you'll have
d*.

i currently take zoloft, and i'd reallllllly like to come off of it. i'm not a
huge believer in meds. i've been on zoloft for about 10 years now,
and my body is 100% addicted to it, so the process of coming off of it
will be very slow, and i'm not ready for that yet. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

i know it's tough, but we're ALWAYS here to help. feel free to pm me
at any time!

[musicmaam]

Hi kiwi,

I, too, have come to believe that the meds I was on did absolutely nothing for my emet. I took Celexa for about 4 years. I suppose it might have helped if I was actually clinically depressed, but I was just so messed up with my phobia and a certain other life event that I think that was it. I don't think there's a drug that can help phobias. If you ALSO suffer from depression, though, perhaps an antidepressant would be helpful.

What kind of therapy are you doing? I think that if someone is truly committed to doing everything they can to get over the fear, they will at least progress and improve! I've been working through the exposure therapy (pics) site, and once I can handle that I suppose it's time to move on to movies and hanging around with pregnant women, lol. I was also in therapy for awhile, but didn't like my therapist and that's never a helpful thing.

Keep us posted. There is more to life, I know it!

[allypally.]

Hiya Kiwi hun,

First of all I wanna send you some big (((hugs))).

I had to post cos I can actually say something positive and give you some hope!! I suffered from emet since i was 5, and it came to a head when i was 18 after having a full blown nervous breakdown and daily panic attacks. I had developed so many habits and routines to keep me safe, i could no longer go on. There wasnt enough time in the day!!
I got to the point where i didnt eat or sleep for 3 weeks throuhg pure fear. It was awful and I hope I never go back there, and noone else has to ever go there. I had suffered a lot of abuse etc in my life, thats why I had the breakdown (not cos of the phobia).

Anyway, after years of talking and medication (which i refused at first...just in case!!) and therapy, I started to get better. My phobia now is so much better than it has ever been. I can go out, go to pubs, clubs, gigs, I can go away, go to work, study. I even work with children and Im ok!! I have dealt with a lot of kids getting s*. Can you believe it!!! I never would have thought I could deal with that!!

Im not 100% cured, and every now and again I have a bad day, or a bad few weeks, but not very often at all and it doesnt control my life anymore.

You can get through this and you can get help. Stick with the therapy hun and dont gve up and it can be a long and painful process. If you really feel that youre therapy is not helping, tell them!! I did with one of my therapists!! Some times you may have to see a few different ones before you find the one that you click with, then one that can help. I also had therapy to help boost my confidence anf self-esteem which helped an awful lot. So there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is hope.

Be brave hunni and dont give up, im here is you need any help or advice xxxxxxxxxxx

[jjbmack]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I get so angry about having this fear. I mean it seems so stupid that I am afraid of v*. I know this is irrational but it doesn't matter. I can't turn off the fear. I am on Zoloft for depression but for me it definately has lessened my anxiety and has made me better able to cope when my kids get sick. I did a little therapy years ago but I didn't stick with it so it didn't really help. I am sure if I went back it would help now. It will take time. This site has been amazing for me and I only found it a couple weeks ago. It is great to be able to talk and vent to people who truly understand.

[allypally.]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I get so angry about having this fear. I mean it seems so stupid that I am afraid of v*. I know this is irrational but it doesn't matter. I can't turn off the fear. I am on Zoloft for depression but for me it definately has lessened my anxiety and has made me better able to cope when my kids get sick. I did a little therapy years ago but I didn't stick with it so it didn't really help. I am sure if I went back it would help now. It will take time. This site has been amazing for me and I only found it a couple weeks ago. It is great to be able to talk and vent to people who truly understand.

I get soooooooooo mad with myself and this fear too. Like you said, its so irrational, but it doesnt matter. When that fear grips you, it feels like its the end of the World. I used to get to angry that I used to self harm. I know that wasnt clever and I never should have allowed myself to go there, but it was the only was I could release that feeling of rage.

I think you should deff give therapy another try. It certainly sounds like you benefited a little, so as soon as you feel ready, you should go for it. Theres no reason that it shouldnt help you. If it doesnt, at least you tried, and then you can look for a new therapist or a different type of therapy. Us emets should never give up looking for help or for some form of a cure. None of us deserve to live like this.

I think its fab that you can cope looking after your s* children. Well done, that takes some bravery xxx

[sqil30]

Hi Kiwi,
I am on zoloft. I got so bad I used to make up excuses not to go into work. It really has helped me a lot. I would discuss options with your doctor, he/she will be able to help you decide what is best. If you don't get it right the first time don't be discouraged. There is help an the right treatment out there for you! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]