Wow!

[alycat27]

Well my story is a little weird. See I have always had a bit of a panick attack whenever I heard, saw the V word or whenever someone would act like they were going to be ill. I didn't have a problem with myself being sick. I mean I HATE being sick but it doesn't bother me as much as someone else being sick. My worst fear was always that I would be stuck in a car ram packed full of people and the person next to me would be sick all over me.

The weird thing is, is that I think (besides movies like Stand By Me, Problem Child 2 and The Sandlot with their V scenes)my sister was the cause of my fear. What is weird about THAT is that after reading some of the experience posts on here it seems as though maybe her problem was that SHE was suffering from this as well. You see in recent years she has been diagnosed as having compulsive behaviors. Needing to be constantly reassured over and over again that things will turn out ok, calling my mom like 30 times a day about the same thing everytime, having panick attackts, etc. I have social anxiety myself and sometimes that leads to a feeling of agoraphobia (or however you spell it, but the one where you don't want to leave your house).

Anyway, let me start from where my sister started. Even before this time I had a fear of V but this made it worse. We were eating at the Olive Garden and were going to check out a small fair that was close by. My mom told my sister (who was about 6 or 7 at the time) that she may want to go to the bathroom in the restaraunt bathroom before we leave, so we don't have to use the nasty Porta-Pottys at the fair grounds. I am not sure what exactly my sister took from what my mom said but I assume she took it to mean she was not ALLOWED to use the bathrooms at the fair.

We went to the fair and immediatly my sister said she felt sick. My mom told her to go in the Porta-Potty and be sick but she wouldn't do it. She ended up V'ing on the ground and we left. All the way home we had to stop every now and then for her because she felt like she was going to be sick. I was horrified and angry at her because I was panicking inside. She actually didn't get sick all the times we pulled over but this sparked a huge trigger in her.

For the next three years she would not leave the house without a bag in case she felt car sick, and without knowing where every single bathroom was going to be at the places we were going, and she would ask over and over again if we could stop at each rest area to use the bathroom. It got to the point where we couldn't get five minutes down the road from our house in the car without her getting sick. And I know it wasn't extreme car sickness it was something in her mind. It got to the point where I refused to ride with her and my parents would get mad at me. I had an extreme fear and panick of her doing this, but my parents just found it rather annoying. They would pull over for her but would get nasty to her if they had to. Normally as long as she took a bag with her she was ok. She used the bag a few times while I was with them and it shook me to the core. Anyone else but you guys would think I was crazy and maybe selfish for being angry with my sister when she was being sick.

When she switched schools and went to a private school that was 35 minutes away they had to carpool and certain moms in the area had certain days they would pick up the kids. Kids were So annoyed by my sister because she would have to sit up front and carry her bag with her or else she would threaten to be sick.

It was hell living with her for awhile. My mom took her to the dentist once and my sister threatened to be ill. There was someone in the girls room so my mom told her to just go in the empty men's room, as it was just a one stall thing and she could lock the door. She refused and ended up being sick all over my mom and the floor. I was SO glad I wasn't there.

Now my sister eventually grew out of this and it went away as if it had never happened. I remember it horrifyingl

[alycat27]

I just thought of another time. When I got married, my mom and dad and sister and I drove to Virginia from Maine so that I could meet my Military husband there to get married in a small chapel. Well my mom was driving and she didn't want to let my dad have a turn. She took alot of no dose, did not take her blood pressure medication and started freaking out because we could not find our hotel. We kept telling her to calm down and that we would eventually find it and that it was NOT a big deal. Well instead of calming down she kept saiyng she was going to be sick, she was going to be sick. My dad was actually in the midst of asking for directions from someone ont he side of the road when she was saying it. It was embarassing. Then she got half way down the street and said she had to switch places with my dad. She got out and imediatly got sick. It was loud and obnoxious and she had to sleep in the back of the car the rest of the ride until we found the place. She fell asleep and she smelled horrible. I was SO SO angry with her. This is how bad this irrational fear is. Instead of pittying another family member who was doing me a favor by doing all the driving and then felt ill, I was angry at them.

[laylamommy]

The way you feel about other people being sick...that's exactly how I feel. I think I can handle myself or my 4 year old pretty well...but let it be an adult.

It's really hard because you know *rationally* that it isn't their fault, that you should feel sympathy instead of anger and disgust...

Also, I always seem to remember any story that I read or movie I saw as a kid with a v* scene. I remember a chapter in this book I read in probably 3rd grade, Romona Quiby, age 8...and I don't remember anything in that book except for the chapter where she gets sick. I can remember that chapter in great detail. I think I was fascinated by that chapter. Edited by: laylamommy

[alycat27]

That is SO funny that you mentioned that. Now this is where things get REALLY strange, because I have NO problem READING about v'ing...in fact, like you, I bought that Ramona book TWICE just to read that part! I, like you was fascinated by it. How odd is that?!

I am glad I found this place because it seems as though alot of us had parents who, though they were not mean, just did NOT understand the situation and would consider us inconsiderate and self centered if we got angry with someone for being sick. I remember once we had this dog that was ALWAYS getting sick. My brother wanted him to take a ride with us. I whined and complained to my parents that I did NOT want to go if the dog went and they thought I was being selfish. They said the dog would NOT get sick and I was being a jerk. Well, they made me go. As we pulled back into the driveway the dog got sick everywhere. I cried and felt like I was going to be sick and everyone had a good laugh at me. grr

It's funny how alot of us have so much in common but have different "brands" (LOL) of the phobia. Like I can handle little kids(little kids, not the kids from the sandlot movie! LOL)and dogs(although it's still GROSS) and cats, but tweens, teens and adults? Nope LOL.I also do not OVERLY have a fear of being sick myself. I mean I hate it but like many I am normally able to talke myself out of getting sick. I tend to get panicky in social situations anyway and get clammy and sweaty and sometimes feel neauseated but am able to put it aside until it finally goes away.

I am definatly not afraid of eating. I have been overweight alot of my life. In fact, that being said, this is TOTALLY ironic but I have an irrational fear of very, very obese people getting sick. I think it's from seing disgusting scenes in movies that puts this thought that someone very large would have alot more stuff to come out [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img] Edited by: alycat27

[allypally.]

Hi Aly cat (is your name Alison too??)

Welcome to the site hun, like you said, it such a great feeling to finally know youre not alone and can talk to people that understand you. Sounds like you had some really horrible experiences growing up, and sounds like your sister clearly had an issue with it too.

I also have this mad anger when adults get sick, especially when its drink related. My Dad used to get ill a lot from drink, and be so loud and obnoxious with it, really over exagerate evry sound. I hated him cos he knew about me and didnt care, thought being ill was really funny. I go through phases when I struggle in social situations and even develop agorophobia (i dnt know how you spell it either!! lol).

Im affraid of myself and others, mine isnt exclusive to one group. I even slept in the garden as a kid when someone got ill, or I ran away. Yet I remember being ill as a kid, and totally coping with it, even feeling relieved, but it hasnt stopped the damn phobia.

Watching v* or reading about v* in books or films doesnt really bother me cos its fake. I hate seeing it when its a documentary and its real, thats what I have aproblem with. Ive never had a problem looking after babies or small kids though, and have been a nursery nurse most of my life. Wierd isntt it!!

Anyway, welcome hun and big hugs xxxx

[allypally.]

PS, that slinshot ride terrifies me, as Ive seen people get ill in the ride and it falling down below. There is no way I would ever go on one or walk underneath it. I HATE it when people brag about being ill!! My boyfiend got ill on a recent stag do as he had a migraine. His friends all got out their mobiles and cameras to record it and take pictures. I just dont get it!! It really upset me cos my poor boyfriend was really poorly and i think its really humiliating and degrading to do something like that!!

xxx

[alycat27]

Eww, what is it with Guys? [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] My husband thinks V'ing parts in movies are hilarious and I have to leave the room when they come on. One show I REFUSE to watch is that Jack@ss show or the Wild Boys show. Pretty much no matter what they do it causes them to get sick.

My name is Alyssa

Some days I feel like a total and UTTER loon. It isn't just V that is my phobia. I also have social anxiety and a fear of driving. I am 27 with a husband and a four year old son and do not even have a driver's license. It's very crippling and unfortunatly, just like the V fear, no one understands why in the heck I would have a fear of driving.

Often times I can keep up with conversation, even with strangers but I have to psche myself up majorly beforehand. Like even if I am getting a haircut, I get really, really nervous before hand and feel flammy and dizzy before it's my turn to go up there. Then I never know where to look when they are doing my hair because I hate staring at myself in the mirror LOL

Heck even crossing the road makes me nervous if there are cars even remotely near the crosswalk. I normaly wait until there are NO cars remotely in the area coming and THEN cross. If there are cars coming I normally step away from the cross walk and pretend to shuffle through my pocket book, as if looking for something so the cars wont stop and let me cross. God I am strange.

If I don't recognize the number on my phone, I do NOT like to answer it. In fact unless it's a call to family or friends I hate making phone calls. Especially appointments or speaking to bill type people that may yell at me. At one point I used to make my husband do all that and go in and order us food at places coz I didnt want to do it myself.

I HATE seing the dentist. Not for why you may think. Every single time I go, they try and shove those xray cardboard cut outs into my very small mouth and I gag horribly every time. After five times they finally put numbing gel on my gums to relax them so I won't do it. The trauma of that is enough to keep me away from the place. I mean stick five needles in my gums, yank a tooth but don't gag me!Edited by: alycat27

[alycat27]

OMG...I can't beleive I Forgot to add this extremely, extremely important detail. I guess I am just so used to it I almost forgot! [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]

My father was an alcoholic and has been sober for 20 years. Back from when he drank his liver got messed up and he had tons of ulcers and now because of this only has half a stomach. So I grew up with a father who if he had any spice what so ever on his food(im not talking hot spicey, I mean ANY type of spice..) he would throw up. He threw up at least twice a day in the bathroom and he doesn't eat that much. Unfortunatly my room was near the bathroom. Sometimes he would do it outside because he couldn't make it to the bathroom. Sometimes I would hear it outside too. Unfortunatly my poor dad is a bit of a loud sick person. I'm surprised he is not skin and bone since he gets sick at least twice a day and only eats a little bit. I also have a thing where if anyone has a really nasty cough I give them dirty looks..I feel bad for it and I get called a B*tch for it because they obviously can't help it, but some people cough to the point of making that nasty burp,(you know the one, right before they V)and it skeeves me out to no end.

You know what naws at me the most about the emets and the fear of driving and the social anxiety? is that people think with the emets I am being self centered and cruel to those being sick because I freak out. With social anxiety, I think people think I am weird, or just plain lazy when they hear I am nervous about taking my son to crowded playgrounds because of all the other parents that may want to try and drag me into conversations. And I think my husband thinks I am lazy because I am to afraid to make the "important" phone calls like paying the bills or discussing registering my son for preschool. Then people think I am just lazy for not wanting to learn to drive. It drives me nuts because I am not lazy, I am scared. I'm phobic! They couldn't understand unless they've been there.

I think I need to find a social anxiety forum as well. Sometimes I feel utterly worthless because I am afraid to drive, meaning my husband has to request time off from work to take myself or my son to appointments. And of course sometimes his bosses get angry because they don't understand..and this causes major tension between us at times. Sometimes I feel like a really bad mom. I'm an emet, I'm overweight, compulsive overeater, compulsiver worrier, have extreme anxiety over social situations and have a fear of driving. In a sense i'm pretty much worthless. I even kept my four year old from going on a boat ride with my husband and some friends because _I_ get seasick and wasn't going to go, and was afraid that my son would go, get seasick and be absolutely miserable.Edited by: alycat27

[wackydeli]

A lot of your stories just bring me back to so many of my own.

I can't watch jackass or comedy movies. And that bad cough thing reminds me of back in 1st grade when a kid had a terrible cough, and later on in the day it was so bad that it made him v*. 1st grade was a bad year; I'm 20 years old and I can still remember EVERYONE who v* that year, and what month it was in, and how it happened, etc.

It really is such a relief finding people who are understanding and accepting in regards to this. Welcome!

[alycat27]

Thanks It really is nice knowing others are in the same boat. I mean it's great to know that other people have had the experiences where they are accused of being the drama queen or trying to ruin everyone else's time because they panick over vomit. I know that all to often my sister would get sick on a trip and would be fine and happy in like five minutes and everyone else would move on and act like it hadn't happened. Me, I would be freaking out and angry that my whole day was ruined because I had to witness that. Then I would be in a horrible mood and be accused of trying to ruin the trip for everyone. So suddenly I was the bad guy. I'm sure i'm not alone on this one!

I used to hate my parents sometimes because they would just NOT let me stay home. I would tell them why, that I knew my sister would get sick and they would insist she wouldn't. They would even ask my sister right in front of me"you wont get sick, will you?" and she would have this unsure look on her face. I would be like "Then what does she need that plastic bag for she is carrying around?" they would just tell me to be quiet and get in the car. Of course then she would get sick and I would be SO angry at her and try and ignore her the rest of the trip. Then my parents would yell at me for being mean. [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img] They totally didn't get it. I mean I know we as emetophobes tend to not be sympathetic in the least and may come off as mean in our anxiety ridden state, but truth be told my sister was psychologicaly MAKING herself sick, she wasn't really car sick, so that is what drove me crazy.Edited by: alycat27

[grgygrl]

Wow Alycat, some story and I feel bad for you while you were growing up. It is very hard for people who dont understand Emet to be sympathetic to us as we are in a state of total panic when someone becomes ill around us or in our home. I hope things are better with your sister now than when you were younger. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[alycat27]

She outgrew it by age 12 or 13 thank god.

[allypally.]

Hey Aly. I mush prefer your name to allison, my names so common!! lol. I used to have a really good friend called Alyssa, and I will never forget her cos as well as being totally stunning, she was a beautiful person.

Anyway... lol. I can relate to your driving fear. Im 31 and I dont drive either. Im not even sure why!! I have been in a few crashes, but I know its not just that. But thats the excuse I give to people!! lol. I really am terrified!! So I can relate to you on that one 100%, so youre not alone hun!! Do you knw why youre scared of driving??

The social fear, I also used to be the same there too. Even getting a haircut would send me in to a blind panic. I have cancelled so many appointments in my life cos of this!! I am much better now, but if Im having a bad day, I know im not gonna make it to the dentist/docs/salon!! Crowds would send me crazy, I couslnt handle any social situation at all. I just felt so panicky, and I had to get away asap. I couldnt do those phone calls either!! It sounds so silly to everyone else, but the thought of having to ring up abot a bill or an appointment or anything would turn my blood cold!! I would make any excuse I could to get someone else to do it for me!! lol.If Im going through a bad time, I still cant do it, and will avoid going out all together. I have had to quit a LOT of jobs over the years cos its all got on top of me and I just couldnt cope. So youre not a freak and youre not worthless and youre not alone. I really can relate and sympathise with you. I think you sound like a great Mum!! Sounds like you adore your son and that you being concerned for him and his happiness makes you anything but a bad Mum!! I wish you had been my Mum!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

I used to get mad at my parents too cos they would always make me do things I didnt want to do when I was terrified. They just used to get soooo angry with me, I got accused of being an attention seeker etc. Been accused of everything from drama queen to anorexic. Its so bloody frustrating when noone understands.

I can tell you though, that even thought I still dont drive (my boyf promises he will teach me when the time is right and I finally believe I WILL do it!!) I can go out socialising and in to crowds and it doesnt bother me at all now!! I also deal wth this damn phobia hell of a lot better, and I do have some confidence and self-esteem!! There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, and you can get through all of this with the right help and supprt!! I still have the odd bad phase when things get on top of me and my phobia rears up (when I have a lot of personal problems that I bottle up and dont talk about, which is stupid cos I know what it does to me but I do it anyway cos I cant help it!), but for the most of it, Im good now. I reckon you really really need some help to boost your confidence and self-esteem so that you dont feel so bad about yourself. I cant tell you how much easier it gets when you have some confidence and self belief!! Have you had any help for any of your problems??

Big (((hugs)))

Ally xxx

[alycat27]

This sounds soo silly but I think other than the worry of crashing, killing someone and having a panick attack at an intersection, I am afraid of the social situation that would arise from a crash or being pulled over. How silly is that? LOL like afraid of being yelled at and cursed at, etc.


I was going to be put on celexa once by my OBGYN but it made me sick. I never really looked for help. Sometimes I can handle it really well. I am a good faker

[wackydeli]

I am so bad when it comes to getting yelled at by other drivers. I'm not afraid to drive, and drive pretty well (in my opinion) but there have been times where other drivers with road rage have yelled at me, and honestly, it just hurts my feelings. It's made me cry a few times even! I never get mad on the road, and the fact that other people can get so mad at people they don't even know just makes me so upset.

Like, come on. I accidentally pulled up instead of letting you make that turn. I'm sorry. It's not like I killed your mother or anything.

Anyway, my mother doesn't drive. She tried for a little when I was maybe 3, and I remember when she got in the car, before she'd start it, she'd do the sign of the cross and say a little prayer, that's how scared she was! My mother's very afraid of anything that is slightly risky ... driving, amusement park rides, swimming, etc. She also has a terrible phobia of animals. I guess anything that could potentially result in injury or death terrifies her.

Luckily for her though she isn't afraid of v*! ^_^

[harmonygirl72]

I am very sensitive like that, too. I also have cried when being yelled at by another driver. I don't know what's up with that. I do love to drive, though, and do it all the time! I love road trips!

[kendall]

i think that all emetophobes have some emetiphillia in them.