A personal Question for the ladies!

[terified girl]

I'm actually not embarrassed to write this but it is a sexual question for those of you who are not interested....


I can't orgasm because everytime I get to the point, my stomach starts going crazy and I end up panicing instead of going with the flow....


Does this happen to anyone else?


If so, have you gotten over it?


Thanks girls!!!!


Sonia

[hippychick]

Oh Geeez


In a word...YES. Not because my Stomach goes crazy but because of just general anxiety and control issues. I find it very hard to let go and just enjoy whats going on. I find if i do start enjoying it I tend to detatch from my emotions if that makes sense? Because it all gets too intense.


However I have been very lucky in finding a really understanding girlfriend. I wouldn't say I am over it as such, but I am getting better. I can relax a lot more than before, we just take things really slowly, I am finding it easier to deal with the intensity of how I feel sometimes.


Its really hard to just let go and feel sometimes, but I find not focusing on it helps. Like if i thought "Oh I have to orgasm" or "I'm gonna panic if I try" everytime then I would get more and more anxious. I don't put pressure on myself to orgasm and therefore end up more relaxed and able to.


i guess I don't have any helpful advice except "relax" which is a dumb thing to say lol Just i understand how you feel.


xxxxx

[sweetfreak]

Out of the relationships I have had, I have only been able to orgasm with one person, and that was because I could see that pleasing me was, in fact, something that gave him pleasure, so I was able to let go and give up "control" to him. I never felt with any of my other boyfriends that they even cared whether I had an orgasm or not, so it wasn't a big deal as long as they were getting pleasure out of the experience.


There is more to it than that, but I don't want to get any more personal.Edited by: sweetfreak

[sarahx]

I know what you mean... At the moment i feel to tense and anxious to even have sex in the first place!! But whenever i start to enjoy myself its like i suddenly feel nauseas and i have to stop... my poor boyfriend. Its really strange... i dont feel normal at all. I always tense up cos i think i might v* if i dont stop? Tsk... ive tried to relax and be more logical about the whole thing but it just doesnt help.


Sarah xxx

[mothtoaflame]

I sometimes find it difficult to orgasm too. Although not for the same reasons. My medication, I think, caused a little sexual dysfunction ....... but I am experimenting with coming off them ..... hopefully it'll be a little easier.


Karen.

[Scampi]

It is important to me that my partner takes pleasure in giving me pleasure - maybe you are the same, so need that in a partner to really be able to let go and enjoy yourself? Also, can you orgasm alone? Maybe you can discover what works for you and learn (alone and in control) that your stomach doing a flip-flop is not a signal that you are about to v*, but that it is just part of your orgasm reaction, and be able to take pleasure from it.


Best wishes, Jill xx

[terified girl]

Thanks guys!

[e-lizabeth]

that's an old story for me - i clearly remember feeling exactly that way when i was younger, and i didn't have my first orgasm till my mid-20s....then when i was on Paxil, I couldn't have an orgasm to save my life. Now, thank goodness, all that's changed. In fact, pregnancy seems to have the opposite effect on me.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[terified girl]

Well congratulations Liz!!!!