p* off

[izzybee]

grrrrr I am so annoyed at the moment and just need to have a rant and a bit of a moan!


I've actually been doing well. I've been into school full time apart from 1 afternoon. Its been scarry but I'm glad that I've had a triumph. Its been a while!


But with all this my stress levels have gone so high. Obviously I've got alot to think about, with going to school full time instead for 4 afternoons per week. I also have to think about moving house every week too.


But my friends seem to be ignoring me. I dont think its my imagination, and obviously I havent been aorund much in the last year. But they arnt including me anymore. They arnt being nasty or anything, they just dont seem to notice that I'm there. My 1 very good friend is still hanging out with me - but she's being pulled away by other people too. Its so hard. I battle my phobia and then people ignore me and stress me out. grrrrrrrrrr


Also my mum has a cold. I moan about my mum alot! She likes to have the attention on her, and talk about her problems and moan etc etc. She's talking about this cold 24 -7 - she's sghing and saying how awful like is foor her. And I'm sure it is nasty for her. But I'm going through so much crap at the moment, then I have to listen to her say she's worn out, just from walking to the kitchen or dont nothing. grrrrrr [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]


I hate this - and I have no way of getting these problems out and getting any sympathy. Its so hard I dont want to spend a winter of depression again. Last year was awful - but with all these problems - it doesnt look likely that I'l be happy through the winter anymore!

[Louise]

Aw izzy [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]i know what it feels to be 'left out' it's horrible!


Except at the moment, i'm very happy (read my last post in my topic!) [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


i've just started a new college, and i knew absolutly no-one! it was ded scary [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]but i've managed to make friends [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

hey Izzy sorry to hear u feeling so distressed.


you have done really really well going to school this much, heck uv been more than me!! so again, welldone for that.


i still sympathise with the fact u have to move house every week. i cant think of nething more unsettling for a " normal person" let alone an individual with an anxiety disorder!


sorry to hear about ur friends as well. maybe wen uv been around then for a little longer they wil begin to look out for you more -- as in, realise that ur supposed to be around them e.t.c.


my mother is a bit of a moaner too. which is quite infuriating. i usually just hide away at the computer in my room or smthing. that way - i dont have to listen to her.


im always here to support you or sympathise with you if u just need somenoe to listen.


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[mbs730]

I'm sorry Izzy, that must be rough. I know how it is to
feel like no one cares about you. I have DEFINITELY been there! And it
also seems to happen at those times when you need support the most huh?



Miriam

</font>

[party_boi3423]

Hi izzy!


Sounds like you are going through a rough time at the moment. I really hate the winter. December is okay but january and february i absolutely despise and hate! I like it when spring kicks in and the bad bout of illnesses seems to fade away! I know exactly the feeling when your friends start to bugger off and leave you in the lurch. I dont even try and follow them around because then i feel like a burden which i hate feeling like. I really do feel for you at the moment. If you ever feel like talking, you know my MSN lol!


God Bless, Chris

[sunshine16]

Aww Iz! *Hugz*


Izzy hunn first of all you must get it into your pretty little head that brighter days are ahead of you. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. That there will be laughter and fun in the future. If you don't believe this, what do you have to live for? You CAN make a difference in how happy or upset you are, and by believing that there is sunshine ahead of you, those days will only come faster.


I know last April was difficult for me. No one seemed to like me, I had missed so much of school and couldn't laugh at a lot of inside jokes.My life was exactly as yours, rough. But Iz, it did get better. And it will for you too.


Cheer up Iz [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[izzybee]

thanx everyone - you dont know how much it means to me that people do want to listen (or read)


Its friday tomorrow - so I guess that atleast its the end of the week - end of school for a bit. I think I'm going to go out tomorrow. Theres a club for local rock bands where people just sit in the dark and be moody together! Although my social phobia may not really help with that- I'l be obsessed that I dont look good and that I cant go out etc etc. But hey I need this night out!


grr it's going to be a stressful weekend. I have a trampolining comp on sunday. I have to be there at 9am!! And I hate wearing my leotard!!


oh well. Lets say another week of nastyness and things should look up. They will eventually. But its so hard to believe that some times. Things just get too mcuh sometimes for you to handle - and you get so full up with your emotions you cant think of anything else. hmmmm


well thanx again to people who replied *hugs* I'm going to get some sleep now. Maybe things will feel better in the morning (hopefully not worse!)

[Scampi]

Izzy - I really wish I could give you a hug right now. I am sure your friends will come round - it is possible they are a little wary of putting 'pressure' on you by including you in plans, etc -they may feel that they are helping by letting you be quiet and have your own thoughts. Let them know you are OK to be included by suggesting things to do as a group yourself - suggest you all eat lunch together,or just ask for all the goss on the latest hot romance, or discuss that nice new teacher that started in September (I worked in high schools for 13 years - there's ALWAYS a nice new teacher to talk about [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]!!) or that evil one you can't believe is still here!


Let them know that you are OK, and that your sense of humour and fun is intact, and you will soon be back in the 'inner circle'.


I'm afraid I don't have anything useful so say about your Mum - I come from a family that wouldn't complain if their leg was dropping off, so colds in our family are nothing - you have to be unble to open your eyes with galloping sinusitis before you get any sympathy (that sounds awful - my family are actually very loving and caring, they just don't believe in molly-coddling minor illnesses)! All I can so is agree with Jenneh - try to stay away from your Mum until she is better - the last thing you want is to fall out with her because she moans about nothing.


Best wishes, Jill xxx

[Jenneh]

hey Iz - how are u doing today?


ur very brave for just going out despite ur social phobia. is smthing im tryin to get myself to do as well. but i know how hard it is.


things are pretty rotton for me at the moment too - and i too, hav just got to hold onto the thought that things will look up as well. but stress in ppl's lives is lke an illness. it comes, then goes. sometimes returns, but always goes again.


u'll get thru.


Jen xxxxxxx

[izzybee]

i'mstill feeling pretty nasty. It makes it easier that its the weekend, but still I'm getting frustrated. I look forward to my days off and then spend that time not doing anything exciting or worth looking forward to.


Anyway. I didnt go out on friday in the end. My friends and I were really tired and didnt bother - we werent going to go to this local bands club that we usually go to cause it was going to be a pretty boring night. We could of just sat around and maybe got some food but we didnt bother. So it was another night in which was a bit annoying - I just spend the night online.


Today - saturday. My mums boyfriend has been over since about 11am (he went home at about 11pm) So my day has been spend in the kitchen on the computer. I managed to escape for an hour or so tho which was nice. But I always feel that when someone is over I cant do things like normal (like if my mums friend comes over, I cant act as normal) Its left me feeling a bit 'pa' really. Being ignored all day. I only saw my mum on her own properly for about a hour today.


Tomorrow I have a trampolining competition. That will be fun - but also nasty casue I have too parade around in my leotard! I hate it lol. But its something fun I guess. But with that comes stress. My parents are coming to watch - but my dad is bringing his 'friend' and my mum doesnt know - So I'm going to ave to tell her - then she'l get all mad and stress me out even more. I hate this.Why am I doing this?? How am I surviving?? I have to move tomorrow evening too, then have school - its soooooo hard. ga


[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]Edited by: izzybee

[Jenneh]

aww Izzy. its not up to you to tell ur mum about ur dads friend. if shes just gnna stress at you and make u feelk worse -- i wudnt do it!


good luck with this competition. sure ur gnna do fab.


Jen xxx