angry - no respect OT.

[crazybeautiful]

I haven't been on in awhile, just thought I'd stay away. I've been having some tough times with my feelings of loneliness and sadness, I've gotta talk to my therapist about that tommorow and I'm feeling really nervous and scared to.


Anyways, this is what's annoying me at the moment, I come downstairs and my brother and his girlfriend scatter like cockaroachs, I know they've been up to something. My computer is in the basement, so I get told to go away because they want to "talk". I took offense to this. They have no shame whatsoever, and cuddle and makeout right in front of me, not only is it rude but I find it quite disrespectful, theres a time and a place for that. I myself as a very private person, wouldn't do that to them, so they should have the same respect for me.


I find this hard to deal with because I'm dealing with my own issues,I feel extremely lonely, I would love to have a relationship, but it's like I'm so scared, and it's never happened for me before, that I push away everyone who comes near me. I'm scared I will end up alone for the rest of my life.


Anyone who has any thoughts is welcome to reply, I'm going to talk to my therapist tommorow, this will be extremely hard because it tends to make me very emotional and I'm not one to show my feeling and cry in front of many people. (Maybe that's a totally seperate issue).


So yeah, thanks for listening.


*sigh*

[harmonygirl72]

Aww, I totally hear you on the loneliness issue! I am feeling very much that way tonight! I am 31 and still single and very much afraid that I will be alone forever!! Yesterday at work a woman was saying that she hopes her daughters get married soon...they are only 23 and 24!!! I feel so old and scared of spending the rest of my days alone....


Not that that really helped you, but at least you know you are not alone.


Mary

[crazybeautiful]

Thanks Mary...


I feel that this fear of relationships is going to screw me over in the end. I'm only 20, yet I feel so sad and alone and afraid I will BE alone forever!

[harmonygirl72]

Nah, you have so much time still! I forget if I have you on any instant message programs, but if you ever want to chat, let me know!


Mary

[crazybeautiful]

I had you on msn...it messed upmy list my contact list, I've added you back.

[Babydoll]

Crazy beautiful, Its too bad your feeling like this .


but remember your only 20!!!!! you have plenty of time to meet someone!! maybe you should join a club, and get out and meet some new people. It will give you something to be a part of, and maybe you'll meet mister right ( not mister right NOW) in the process.


and hey, sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. I live with my boyfriend and love him to death, but sometimes you wanna be free to explore "other Pastures". you can look at any man you want and not feel guilty!


If you ever need to talk I'm here. since we're about the same age ( I'm 22) Maybe we can help each other!

[nat10]

im so sorry you are feeling like this. i know what it is like to feel lonely. i have what you think will make you feel better, i live with my boyfriend and have a one year old son but sometimes i feel more lonely than i did when i was on my own, i had no ties and responsibilities then, i could go where i wanted, see who i wanted to see.
now i feel trapped and lonley when my friends tell me what they have been up to it all seems so exciting compared to my life.
i mean i would never ever change my little boy for the world and have no regrets on having him, i just feel like all i have to do with my life is washing and cleaning and im 22! my boyfriend works away alot too and when he is home he plays football most nights! it annoys me that his life is nearly the same as it was before we had charlie and mine is so different!
make the most of being free because i really wanted to settle down and have someone to always be ther but im still not 100% happy with my life! i think i would moan whatever my situation! im just that kind of person!
try not to get to down though, hope you feel better soon. xxxx

[crazybeautiful]

Thanks for all the replies. I talked to my therapist about it, I think this is a bigger issue than I thought.