Please help - I can’t eat

[soluene]

I haven't had this problem for a long time. Years, in fact. But the stress in my life has culminated over the past few weeks, and my emet has come roaring back with it. To explain the details of why I'm so stressed would take hours, so I just want to know - how do you deal with your emet when you can't eat? I take a few bites of something, and my throat closes up and I can't eat any more. One morning, I tried to force myself to eat anyway, and I gagged 3 times. That scared the crap out of me, and made me stick to things that are easy to eat. I've been living off of lettuce and fruit for several weeks, with a bit of meat in there when I can swallow it, which is rare. I always had a series of 'comfort' foods that I thought I could get by on, but unfortunately, I can't sustain myself on bread, yogurt, and like I said, lettuce and fruit for too long. Last week, I had to attend a convention for work, and I was barely making it through the days because I was getting so weak. I would wake up in the middle of the night because I was STARVING, and yet my throat and mouth are so dry that they won't accept food. I can tell that I've lost weight (I'mnormally at 108 lbs at5'7", so I can't afford to lose much). On top of everything, my period is late. It could be because of all the stress, but it is possible that I'm pregnant. If I AM pregnant, then not eating (and taking all the drugs I've been taking lately), then I'm in really bad shape.


Please help.

[SullyMel]

Oh. You poor thing. I was like that a couple months ago before my wedding. I lost weight too. I'm 5'2" and weighed about 110, but then I dropped to 92. Now I'm at 100 or so. There were times when I would have to force myself. It sucks, but you have to eat. You will make yourself sick. You must feel terrible right now b/c I know I did. What I did was take little bites of whatever I had a taste for, chew real slow, and take my time eating. Whether it took me a half an hour or more. I didn't care. To make sure the emet doesn't get in the way, I would talk on the phone, watch TV, read a magazine, or talk to my husband while I ate to occupy my mind. It helped. There were times when I was hungary and felt like eating, but then when I started eating, I felt sick. I would just stop and try it again. Don't get discouraged. I know it may seem like baby steps, but you do need to eat. You should try to do things to take your mind off of your stress also. Go see a movie, read a book, go for a walk, go shopping. Something you like to do. You need to try to relax. I hope this helps. Hope you feel better soon.


Melanie [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[faith-marilyn]

I agree with melanie, read a magazine or put your fave film on that makes u laugh while u eat, for sum reason it helps if i eat alone too. Maybe also you could try think soup? one of those ones witht he small bits of meat and potato and vegetables in, they are SMALL so it will re introduce your body to these foods and gradually make it easier for you to eat again. I do kno whow u feel tho, i dread meal times and i always feel my throat closing up, some things are much harder to eat than others, but i know that if i dont eat ill make myself sick, and thats what we are trying to avoid in the first place!
Hope you start feelin better soon,
Faith-M
xxxxx

[faith-marilyn]

haha i meant thick soup not think soup - if there was such thing as think soup id eat it everyday, id need to!! hehe [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]
xxxxx

[Melikasa]

awww hun. I know what you are going through. I was the same way. It was stess too that made me not able to eat. If you can find a tranquil spot or happy spot where you are comfortable eating it will help a lot. I did find that it was easier to eat once my mind was settled. We went out the other day in fact and I was so stressed I couldn't bring myself to eat even though I was hungry and because we were on our way out I didn't want to be sick so once the trip was over and I was relaxed up a bit I was able to eat.
Soup IS a great idea that Campbells Chunky or even just a vegetable soup will be good. If you put it into a mug it is easy then to sip at. I think maybe too that if you can bring yourself to drink a Boost or some kind of meal replacement drink so that you aren't losing any important vitamins and nutrition.
I really hope that things work out for you hun. I always hate knowing that people are troubled and especially when their health is put at risk. You need to get something into you though before you end up in the hospital being fed through an IV.
Best of luck hun.

[SullyMel]

Hey Again:


How are ya doing now? You really need to eat something. Soup is a good idea. I'm just concerned for you. Let us know. If you don't mind me asking, how much weight have you lost? Take care. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[soluene]

Thanks so much for your replies. I don't know how much weight I've lost because I don't have a scale; however, I can tell that my stomach is concave and my bra seems too big.


You guys are right about soup, it has been my savior in the past. The problem was that last week while at the work convention, I was on everyone else's schedule and I couldn't chooseon my ownwhere to eat. When I get like this,things like Chinese foodare very hard to get down! Also, I would panic when it was lunch or dinner time! I knew that 1) I had to eat because I wouldn't get another chance and 2) I had to do it relatively quickly because of meeting times, etc. I was so afraid I would gag that I ended up hardly eating anything.


Oh yeah, the good news is that my pregnancy test is negative. I would hate to start it out like this!


Anyway, thanks so much for your support. All those tricks you were suggesting are familiar to me, but sometimes I can't seem to give myself advice. I'm still having trouble eating (I'm once again starving - I hate this feeling), but hopefully now that I'm no longer away from home, I'll be able to get back to my normal schedule.

[hippychick]

Hey long time no speak


Sorry you are back under these circumstances! Anyway I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to eat right now, you see yourself as too thin etc and keep thinking you HAVE to eat and thats just going to make things worse. So forget it. No point thinking that way, it wont help. MAybe try some of those Milkshakes you can get for after illness that help build you back up. Smoothies are good also, lots of fruit yoghurt etc etc Ice cream, very good and fattening to hehe


Soup is of course a great idea but mostly, distraction! focusing on what you are eating thinking you HAVE to eat putting all this pressure will just get you into a horrible cycle of not eating. So put on the tv, put some food near you and simply take a bite or two when you can, eat what you can when you can, if you feel starving have a little something even if its just a drink, so your body and mind gets used to it. Take it slowly and you will be fine.


I have faith in you, you are a very strong person


Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[soluene]

Great to hear from you, Hippychick. You're exactly right of course, I am putting too much pressure on myself to eat - to the point where I panic when a plate of food is set in front of me. I was able to eat 1/2 a bagel this morning for breakfast, and a serving of dinner last night, so things are improving!

[Galadriel]

Hey Soulene!!


Good to hear from you!! Im sorry your having a setback. It really sucks when you get like that. I know how you feel when your havin real trouble eating. The others posted good advice!! The soup thing sounds good, even chicken broth is good, it'll keep you hydrated. Maybe even those nutrient drinks so that you can still get calories in you even tho its hard to eat. Geez there have been so many times where I have just gotten in a stressful situacion or something and stopped eating much, and its like you really gotta re-train yourself to eat again. I know its hard when you eat a little, then feel sick, and it makes you afraid to try again. The thing I have found is when you don't eat hardly anything, then try to eat, your stomach is gonna get funky on you. I was having a horrible time for a week straight whenI would try to eat and my stomach would cramp up and start churning and feeling sick, and it was just because it was finally getting food after having not much. Tho that happened, I made myself eat the best I could, and it worked out that it rightens itself and eventually your back to normal again. I feel for you very much! I hope things improve! Thats good that you were able to eat a bit more. I know its hard, but its the only way. Hang in there and keep trying bits at a time!

[sage]

Hey Pilar,


Great to hear from you, terrible you're going through THIS. I would have guessed you're not pregnant, cuz anorexia (not anorexia nervosa, just anorexia which means not eating) causes one to stop having periods. So you must REALLY be undernourished.


The only thing you can really do is fight through it. Force yourself to eat...I remember doing this - eating, crying, gagging, crying, eating, crying....24/7. But in the end your brain finally realizes "hey I'm in no danger if I eat...look I've been eating all this time and nothing bad has happened". That's really the only "cure". It's terrible, but I know you're strong and you can do it.


I hope you can find someone to talk to through this rough patch. Remmber that all the good work you did in therapy is liek "muscle memory"...you won't ahve lost it all - it'll come back.


Good luck!

[sweetfreak]

Soluene,


I went through what you are going through a few months ago. I don't know if this will help you, but this is how I got through it. Even though I was absolutely terrified to eat and my dry throat would gag and constrict over every bite, I would force myself to swallow. After each swallow, I would allow myself to feel every emotion that was going through me. I would just let myself cry each time I swallowed a bite down. It took awhile, but eventually the crying over eating stopped and I realized that my fear about it had stopped to. Maybe this will work for you.

[sydoz]

[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]I hate that feeling!!! I've had some really rough times with eating myself, and I'm already thin so it's NOT a good thing.


Some people suggested the nutritional drinks. Those REALLY help. When I was going through a hard time this year my dad forced me to drink one every morning and night and it was the only way to keep my weight up and keep me from feeling weak. Try Ensure or whatever the other brands are called.


Another thing that helps me is that I have a few foods that for some reason I'm not afraid of. Like I can always eat pizza and cereal even when I feel anxious. If you have a few favorite foods that you can't turn down, try eating more of those. Or if you really love ice cream, just get a big gallon of it and eat it whenever you want. If you start looking foward to eating, then it will expand to other foods.


Good luck, and be happy!

[mbs730]

After I had my daughter 2 years ago, I couldnt eat! That
is rare for me, because I LOVE to eat but I had severe post partum
depression and it was very scary to me when I couldnt eat!!! I
literally had NO appetite, not n or anything, just NO appetite and I
couldnt swallow either. I felt so empty and hallow and it was horrible.
I cant really describe to you how it felt because it was scary like
anything. Well I hope things get better for you soon, I am sorry you
are going through this. So yeah stick with things that are easy for you
to eat and then work your way up slowly. I dont know what else to
suggest



Miriam

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[soluene]

Hi Everyone! Thanks again for your advice. I can't describe how good it feels to have you guys who really understand. I started doing a little better with the eating, but it's going really slowly. I had another morning this past week where I was able to eat an apple, but when I tried to get some yogurt down, I ended up gagging miserably over the sink. Nothing came up of course - ironically, my stomach felt ok - it was just my throat and mouth that doesn't want food. I then had to try to pull it together for another long meeting at work - which I made it through.


I've gotten myself into this terrible cycle, though, where I wake up around 6:30 AM feeling incredibly anxious about going to work. The anticipation and anxiety about going escalates and makes me unable to eat in the morning. Some days, it dies down and I'm fine; others, I end up feeling weak and absolutely ravenous all day, but unable to eat anyway. And I know I need to force myself as Sage and Sweetfreak were saying - just to eat and gag and eat and gag...but it seems as though in my misery, I should be releasing my emotions and crying as well. I can't....I feel like I should be, but I can't.


Anyway, I think I will start looking at protein drinks and trying to get myself happy about food again using the techniques that you suggest (funny how I would suggest these things to other people, but when I'm going through it, I can't give advice to myself). I also do plan to go back into therapy - I'm going to call tomorrow.


Thanks everyone!!!