feelin depressed again

[ejb199]

ohhh i dunno wats going on in my crazy little mind, but i just dont feel myself anymore. my boyf was away last week on a course for work and i felt soooo lonely with out him. Then on top of this, i had a real crap week at work. my job is so stressful and poo at the mo. And on top of that, i feel so sick and dizzy (poss effexor side effects). i just wanna curl up and temporarily die.

And i just feel so crap - i have no energy, no motivation. i eat s**t all the time. i do no exercise. i hate my face and i really DO think im fat. i look crap in every item of clothing. i just dont feel pretty or attractive. my self esteem is way below 100 at the mo.

And i just dont care even. i dont care about myself - im content to flump around in my pyjamas all day - at least they accomadate my fat belly. i dont care much for putting on make-up/brushing my hair. since my boyf was away - honestly ive been living in a pigsty and living off of curries and pizza. im usually such a 'monica' and mega house proud - but I DONT CARE anymore. whats happening to me...i think im getting depressed again. i just wanna go to sleep - in fact im gonna go get into bed. i just dont wanna bother anymore with living and the crapness of the world.

wats it all for anyway - ive been panicking since i was 5 - this is no way to live is it - i mean honestly, wats this all for? its crap - CRAP. anything thats remotely good is always tainted by the fact that something terrible is happening somewhere else - even if i was mega happy and having the time of my life then id prob get blown up in some terrorist attack or something.

[Jenneh]

awww hun i wish i cud tke this depression away from you.


im having a real rough time with it all at the moment as well. does make you want to give up e.t.c saying " whats the point". but there is a point. cos there is always a chance things are gnna get better for you and if u dont hold on, u'll never know.


just try and remember all the people you have around you, like us and ur bf. we're all here to give u strength -- dont give up on us - and dont give up on urself.


ur doing brilliantly. if u find ur a bit depressed and want to have a pjama day -- then have one. let urself "ride" the feelings of depression and u may find it goes quicker than if u tried to push it away all the time.


as u say u may just be getting side effects from ur new tablets -- so this may just be another one of those side-effects. whatever it is, i hope u strt to feel better sn.


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxx

[mystikal star]

Wow. You sounded just like me at the end of your post. I always say that if a time came when I was truly happy and loved my life then I'd be killed soon after that.


I'm really sorry you're feeling so down. Try to get motivated and get yourself out of the house. I've realized that staying in the house and doing nothing gives your mind nothing to focus on but your problems. When you're out shopping or having fun with friends then your mind isn't really given the chance to dwell on your problems. Try it, you MIGHT be suprised. Feel better. I really know how you feel because I've suffered from depression for three years and it ISN'T fun. Take it day by day. Don't think about yesterday and don't think about tomorrow. Just live.....


Ha. Listen to me preach. If I listened to half of what I said I'd be the happiest teenager on earth!!!

[ejb199]

aww thx guys - those are realy kind words and very supportive! I know u are both right - that there is a point. I went out last night with my boyfriend for a few drinks - prob not the best idea with the whole withdrawal symptom things that going on but still we had fun and had a good chat.

i feel so guilty coz im 23, have a good job, just bought a house, just graduated last year, have a lovely boyfriend - but still it some how isnt enough....wats wrong with me? why am i soooo selfish? i just dont get it?

i think its also coz i was knocked out of my routine - that sometimes mucks up my mind - since Jon(boyf) never is away - and i was sooo lonely without him last week!

Jenneh - just try to listen to ur advice that u give all of us guys if u are feeling down - its real good - and i know that sometimes its easy to advise others and then when it comes to ourselves, any little bit of rational thinking goes out of the window. Same with u too Mystikal Star - if we all just listned to ourselves then i think we'd all be a lot happier!!LOL!

thx guys - im feeling much much better this morning! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

lol. people say tht to me often. tht i need to listen to my own advice lol. maybe i'll try that one day [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


im glad to hear u went out . sometimes thats what you need to lift the depression off of you for a bit.


i tend to find i get more depressed/stressed wen my routine is disturbed as well! sytrange feeling.


Jen xxxxxxx