For those of you who don't know yet, I left my wife and moved in to a home my father owns, upon retiring my father purchased a lot of homes and rents them out. I tried my best, but we argued, and had a great deal of problems. But trust me I'm fine, and I give myself the nod for attempting to save what I had, but I am sure now that it can't be done.
Anyway....... This is a really nice little two bedroom home, and for those that have been keeping up, the last two days have been icky on me...(Sick), yesterday morning I opened a drawer in my new home only to see a small mouse scurry off. I was angry at first, cause the last thing I need right now is a roomie. So I went to go buy mouse traps yesterday evening. The little hardware store I went too, had these little glue traps, the mouse runs on it, and gets stuck, they didn't have the old fashion, WHACK kind.
Whenever I come off an illness, I feel better than I can remember, I am just giddy that it's over. (I'm sure a lot of us get that way.) So around 11 PM last night I am just rolling, I am baking a pizza, listening to music, and amusing myself, when I check behind the microwave cause I heard a noise, and low and behold I have caught a VERY SMALL, gray, mouse in my trap.
I go and get a shoe box, and push the trap with the lid in to the box, and this little mouse, I swear is looking right at me. It's mortified. I stare at it for a second, and close the lid to the show box, and go outside. Walk across the road, to the small field across from my home, and dump the trap there, with Uga in tow. (Uga is my female Bulldog.) By the street light, I can see that this little fellow is on there good, he would die on this thing, he'd never get off.
So I start back across the street, cause man I am really craving that pizza, when BAM it hits me, man that little guy is scared to death, and I am dead serious the first thing that flew through my mind was, Laura, Mary, Ally, Sarah, Hannah, Chris, Vicky, all of em, including my son, would think that is a pretty sh***y thing to do, just let the scared little fellow die like that. A Snake would get him for sure. So I walk back over and try to use the shoe box to get him off the trap. No dice.
I go back in the house, turn off my oven, and dig in the trash for the package to the glue traps, till I get to it, turn it over, and see how to counter act the glue, I go back outside with vegetable oil and a cup ofice cold water, and spend 15 minutes or sopouring it onhim to get him off that thing. So finally he bolts, and when I stand up, I turn and there is 2 of the 5 nice college girls whorent the housenext door.
"Whatch'a doing Stephen?" The first one asks me, her name is Janet.
"Nothing....ummm I had caught a mouse."
Now keep in mind I am standing out here in shorts, with a bottle of vegetable oil in one hand, and a coffee cup in the other.
"You drown him in Crisco?" The second one asks me, her name is and I kid you not, Bambi.
Now at this point I should have lied, I lent a coffee cup, and some oil to a neighbor and was getting it back, I had left these things in the car during the move and needed to get them. I was oiling myself up, and gonna run down the street naked, anything, but instead I say....
"Oh no, he was stuck on the glue trap, he was a little thing, he would have died out here, stuck to it, and the only way to get him off was cold water and vegetable oil."
They look at each other, smiling, and I am thinking OH MY GOD, I look like a moron. They are gonna call me things like Ranger Steve, and stuff like that.
"Well thats awful sweet of you, we were just wondering what you were doing across the road, hunched over, Bambi thought you had lost your mind." Janet said.
I had met all of them the day I moved in, during my illness, Bambi even brought over some chicken.
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