OMG I DONT BELIEVE THIS!!!

[mbs730]

<DIV>I havent been here because it became too much for me but just felt like I had to share this, I hope I dont upset anyone but.........IV'ED TONIGHT!! 2 TIMES! AND I AM OKAY!! Iam at my parents right now and had a big dinner but wasnt feeling good, since I didnt think I would v I ate anyway but after dinner, I felt just awful. Started walking around and breathed in deeply, but it started happening, the retching and then..... I v'ed on the floor!! I was embarassed,a little shockedbut handled it incredibly well. I didnt feel the need to cry or anything.Then I ran to the bathroom and it happened again! But I feel okay now and it really wasnt that bad! Honestly it wasnt. Why the hell are we so scared of it???? Why am *I* so scared of it.... I know this is how I was after it happened almost 16 years ago that time but........ I became my same emet self again. Doesnt mean I wont be that way now. Well I'm going to go try to relax now. I am just in shock that after all this time... it HAPPENED!!</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Miriam
</DIV>

[Galadriel]

Hey there!


Wow!! You handled that very well!! I know what you mean about when you actually do it, it doesn't seem really that bad, but still its really tough to shake this thing. I mean even after v* it can come back easy, the fear. Just try and keep this in your head as a positive experience, it wasnt that bad and you lived through it and were okay! I hope your doing okay now!

[youngemet222]

Whoa! Sorry that had to happen to you, but you seem like you handled it so well. I mean, vomiting is no fun for anyone, but it isn't going to kill us. Now, are you still afraid of vomiting right now? If you aren't afraid anymore right now, try not to let emet come back. Just keep this experience in your head and if you ever feel emet coming back, try to think of how you were relieved from whatever was causing it by vomiting. Actually, when I think of it, vomiting if kind of a good thing because it gets rid of any harmful things that might do something to your body if they weren't ejected out and if you have a stomach virus, it gets the virus out so you'll feel better when it is all done. But, believe me. I am very emetophobic and would rather get a virus out through diarrhea than vomiting. So, I hope this helped your emet a little and congrats on handling it so well.


Lizzy

[mbs730]

Hmmm not too sure about that now I think my level of
emet is still the same, just like it was that time 16 years ago. I
think I know what may have happened. I have been changing my way of
eating, I only eat carbs in the morning and proteins for the afternoon,
been losing a lot of weight (mostly weight that I put on while I was
pregnant) however I had lasagna for dinner tonight, and earlier in the
day I had some potato salad with red beet (I am of Estonian descent so
I eat a lot of stuff like that) however it was maybe too much carbs in
one day and I'm not used to eating like that anymore. I just felt so
sick afterwards and I just *knew* there was no escaping. I had some d
after v'ing both of those times and I am not n anymore but feel kinda
bloated. I did have some chamomile tea but I honestly dont think I am
less emetophobic now than I was before that is the sad thing about it.
I'm still scared it might happen again even though I KNOW its not the
end of the world if it does. Uggh, well I am going for counselling now
anyway and I am seeing my therapist in 2 weeks. I'll definitely tell
him about tonight.



Miriam

</font>

[mbs730]

Well I guess scrap that idea that my emet would go away
after v'ing, I am not even n anymore and I am still terrified of it
happening again I hope not... uggh I hate this stupid phobia



Miriam

</font>

[Melikasa]

You may still have it but I am inspired. I think that you did awsome. Especially when you were able to handle it so well with it being an accident like that.
I bet just letting yourself think about how well you handle it will help you out a lot the next time you feel sick.
Don't feel bad that you are still scared. You made progess non the less. Big hugs.
i am impressed and proud to hear that you ate even though you were feeling iffy. Big hugs and I hope you are feeling better hun

[faith-marilyn]

well done 4 the way u handled the situation, i think u did brilliantly, altho i was wondering, Miriam, you wer saying that you would only start exposure therapy if u wer sick yourself first, now that it has happened do u think u would be ready 4 exposure therapy? just a thought!
Faith-m
xxxx

[viilto]

I personally think that the moments BEFORE you are about to v* are the worst. I mean when you realize what is going to happen and just wait for it. Argh.
You handled that situation well, I really hope that your phobia will be little more bearable in the future.

[mbs730]

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I might have some sort of
bug. Never v'ed again nor is it going to happen since I am not really n
but its quite uncomfortable in the southern hemisphere as we speak, in
other words I did have more d Still feel yuck even though I am not
n. Faith, to answer your question, my therapist wants to do cognitive
behavior rather than exposure therapy for me. Go figure. Thanks again
and take care. Still an emet though



Miriam

</font>

[faith-marilyn]

hey Miriam, i am doing cognitive behaviour therapy aswell as exposure therapy, infact the two of them work brilliantly together, i do the exposure at home and obviously the cbt with my therapist so its not impossible to do both if u need sumthin more! Good luck with it )
xxxx

[mbs730]

So its working for you? If you dont mind telling me what
is exactly done? you have to watch videos of v? Well yesterday was
enough exposure therapy for me, uggh. I dont think I have a bug, I am
feeling much better now, if it was a bug it was a 24 hour thing or just
some sort of blip in the system. Who knows. But I am still an emet,
cant stop thinking about it, even though I am feeling okay overall
anyway I still worry that it could happen again. Although I was brave
enough to eat a sandwich (had to, started getting really hungry
probably because my dinner didnt stay in) but all is well. I went to
the studio earlier to get a 6 month portrait done of my son, perfect
day to do it to keep my mind off of yesterday. Tomorrow I am meeting up
with a lady who is in a coffee business because I am thinking about
doing that myself. I know I have said all along I would stay away from
multilevel marketing stuff but this one sounds quite promising. Its
cheap to get into and its a product that everyone loves. Well I am
going to keep trying to keep my mind onto other things.</font>

[Jenneh]

wow --- Miriam --- you handed tht situation so well -- make sure ur therapist works with that situation to try and change th present -- u may still feel as emetophjbic now as u were before -- but it doewnt HAVE to be tht way. and hopefully it wont with a quick dose of CBT.


Jen xxxxxxx

[mbs730]

Thanks Jen, I hope so too because this phobia is still just as bad</font>

[faith-marilyn]

i havent tried the videos properly yet, altho ive done the pics on margarets web site but they didnt work 4 me bcos i dont actually like looking at it, but on the vid it does just show u people being sick, but i will be sure to let u know how i get on with it !
xxxx

[-celeborn-]

After talking so long to Galadriel, Ive seen the fear with this disorder and I feel for you all so much.....


Having terrible arachnophbia I cant imagine having to sit a a room full of spiders 4 days a week....that would be MY worst nigtmare.....you all having to live with this so often must really be terrible.


But this is so cool that it happened and you are fine....I know Galadriel says the same type of thing....shes freakin out, but then if it happens, she sees that it really wasnt that bad.


Good luck[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

<DIV>I havent been here because it became too much for me but just felt like I had to share this, I hope I dont upset anyone but.........IV'ED TONIGHT!! 2 TIMES! AND I AM OKAY!! Iam at my parents right now and had a big dinner but wasnt feeling good, since I didnt think I would v I ate anyway but after dinner, I felt just awful. Started walking around and breathed in deeply, but it started happening, the retching and then..... I v'ed on the floor!! I was embarassed,a little shockedbut handled it incredibly well. I didnt feel the need to cry or anything.Then I ran to the bathroom and it happened again! But I feel okay now and it really wasnt that bad! Honestly it wasnt. Why the hell are we so scared of it???? Why am *I* so scared of it.... I know this is how I was after it happened almost 16 years ago that time but........ I became my same emet self again. Doesnt mean I wont be that way now. Well I'm going to go try to relax now. I am just in shock that after all this time... it HAPPENED!!</DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Miriam
</DIV>

Edited by: -celeborn-

[-celeborn-]

[..Edited by: -celeborn-

[mbs730]

Yep a phobia is a phobia! They are all bad and horrible to live with</font>

[sarahx]

Aww miriam... hugs.


Im glad ur feeling better now. But i know what u mean about still being an emet. Some ppl think that if an emet could just v* then the fear would be gone. But the last 2 times i v*ed i was 'ok' after and the actual v*ing isnt so bad but i am still deathly afraid?? Its cruel to think that even v* doesnt get rid of the fear. Which is why i dont believe exposure works, well mayeb not for some ppl. For others i know it has helped. Why havent they made tablets to get rid of phobias yet????? god damn medics!!!


Sarah xxx

[carlita1652]

Wow![img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img] I can't believehow amazingly well you hadled that scary situation! That must have been terrible....Well, keep up the good work!![img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

Thanks guys. Sarah, you remember how I was pondering on
the ipecac idea to see how bad it really is? Well I definitely say
scrap that idea now because I v'ed naturally without needing to take
any kind of emetics. Now I am glad I didnt because perhaps the ipecac
would have made things worse for me. Yeah so I now know its NOT
THAT SCARY but..... it is true, I have had this phobia for over 25
years now (I am 29 now) and a one time v isnt going to erase it. Well I
am seeing a therapist so hopefully over time I'll be less affected by
this. I am still just as phobic of others getting sick as I was before
this, I am still phobic of myself getting sick but no different from
before. I dont get it but again logic and phobias mix like water and
electricity.



Miriam

</font>