Phobia preventing you from friends?

[emeraldrose]

HI all! I was wondering if your phobia has ever prevented you from making friends, altered your friendships, or even caused friendships to end?
I am curious because I only know one other person IRL that has emet, and she has a hard time going out. I get panicked when I go out, but usually once I have a sip of water and the conversation gets rolling, I relax and enjoy myself.
Also, I wonder who is more accepting and understanding? Men or women?

[jkl81]

I can't say for everyone else but I know no other emets in real life. I know I have a hard time with social stuff because everything tends to revolve around food and drinking, and those are hard. I've really not told too awfully many people exactly what's up. I think people, men and women, are understanding, but when you don't go out much with friends after awhile they quit asking. However I talk with a few people here who are doing really well, with friends, dating relationships etc. That's where I aspire to be.

[alwaysafraid]

I have found that it's held me back from making new friends. I don't want to tell people about it and I don't want to have to explain my unusual behavior at times. I shy away from social situations and that doesn't help!

[vicki5011]

Hi, well i did used to have lots of friends and a good social life, and over the years as my phobia got worse i limited my friends and now i have none!
i even pushed my best friend of 12 years away cause i cant cope with the fact that she has a son that always gets ill and i dont want him to pass his germs onto me and my 2 kids.
i dont go out, i miss out on family get togethers and occasions. im a complete hermit so i would say definatly yes it has spoilt my friendships :-(

[emeraldrose]

Do you think the odd behaviors without explaination is what turns people away? I am concidered a social person, and when I am comingled with others, I do very well. However, I have noticed that people have a difficult time "reading" me. Generally, I can follow dialogue and respond very quickly, but there are times I am simultaneously freaking out about what a person has just touched or how well the food was cooked, etc...
Also, is it possible we as emets make more out of our behaviors than our friends would? Generally speaking, if one was a true friend, they should be able to accept you as you are.

[jwavrek]

Yes it has! ): [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[twilightrose]

It's definitely spoiled things for me. I had a good friend who had slight learning disabilities but nothing really bad last year who caused me to have a bit of a meltdown at the end of last year. She was talking about getting sick from hotdogs and wouldn't stop. I flipped out on her and that was the end of that between us.

[ia2006]

Defiantly.

The anxiety makes me physically sick sometimes (I just get nauseas) and of course I don't want to go anywhere feeling like that.

My friend actually had the nerve to bitch at me the other day after not talking to me for a month because I was unable to go to her little dinner thing!

For the most part, it was not emet-related (at night on a week day a few cities away..hello some people have to work in the morning!)

but it was also at a asian place (I don't like asian food)


I tried explaining but she is naive about it (don't blame her..she's a selfish person!)


Friends and family think i'm a freak because of this and act like I am a spaz.
So freaking annoying.

[violaplayer1987]

Oh yes. It does. I get invited to clubs and bars by my
friends alot. I never go. I make up excuses like "I have to
work" or "I have a huge project do and I really need to
focus" and in reality I end up at home doing nothing.
One of my friends who is a registered nurse took me out to
a bar with her three friends who are also nurses.
Everything was fine until one of the girls talked about how
she was ill from some potato pancakes. I freaked out.

**GRAPHIC**

Then she kept talking about how they use the "pans" [the
bowls that people vomit in at hospitals] to make food for
the other nurses. My friend told this woman to shut up
because of my phobia. The woman said, "Whats wrong?
We wash the pans before we cook in them." [img]smileys/smilies_30.gif[/img]

I excused myself and went home. When I got home I felt
ill. I made myself chicken soup and drank peppermint tea.


So I hardly go out. If and when I do, it's a formal event,
but otherwise I stay home.

[eternalityflame]

Hi all,

I used to have a close group of friends, and other groups of friends. I used to be able to get along really well with people and could go out all the time, even when people were drinking, It'd freak me out but I'd still do it and pretend it didn't bother me, I just pretended I couldn't drink alcohol for some reason. Since my phobia has gotten worse though I'd started staying in house, panic attacks all the time etc. I eventually had to start telling my close friends telling them made them turn against me though [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img] and well they'd talk behind my back and eventually nasty to my face about my "phobia" and then eventually people started judging me all the time and I've only really got one close friend left but even then she can be distant too. So I'm friendless really, I have my boyfriend who hasn't left my side for the whole two years but it can get lonely and upsetting still. I now can't even talk to people on the phone, I do have a best friend whos emetophobic but she lives a few hours away. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

Ah well, yeah its made me friendless! and affected social situations! x