Hi there. I have no idea what to say other than thank Heavens that I am not the only one who suffers from this awful phobia which afterall has a NAME. After reading so many stories and posts, I feel so not alone. I have to say that emetophobia has basically ruined my life. I am warning you, some of the things I am going to say may be graphic. I'll tell you about my awful experiences and how the phobia has affected me. Apparently the first time I had ever vomited was at age 5 aside from those times when I probably did as an infant. I clearly remember that night too. I was laying in bed, feeling just horrible and threw up all over my covers. I cried for my mother and as soon as she came into my room, she yelled at me to get off the bed. She had to replace the covers and clean everything up. Not at all supportive really because right after the mess was cleaned up, she ran out and ran back in with "the pan". She specifically pounded it into my head that if I needed to throw up again, to throw up in "the pan" which didn't end up happening anyway. Right after she dropped it off, she ran out of my room in a flash. But after that night, I always wanted "the pan" beside my bed because I was so afraid of that happening again. That had lasted for about a year. Then one time when I was 7 I was creating something with glue in my room. The glue had gotten onto my hands and I had to go wash them. The bathroom door always remained shut whether someone was using it or not but if it was used it was usually locked. The door wasn't locked that time. I went in there and saw something horrible. My mother was leaning over the toilet vomiting. I saw all of it and to this day can never get that awful image out of my head. Two weeks after that day, my half-brother was running up the stairs and he had thrown up on the top step. I was in my room at the time and I was so scared that I slammed my bedroom door with my ears covered. I was crying and couldn't stop. Then everytime I saw my mother or half-brother, the first thing I would ask was if they were going to throw up. They always got mad at me for asking that and my step-dad was the only one that kept reassuring me that no one was going to get sick. After time I saw he was right, I felt more comfortable being around them. The funny thing is, one time when I was 9, I threw up and was scared right before it had happened but was okay afterwards and became less phobic of it up until I had turned 16. I'll tell you what had happened when I was 16. On November 26th, 1989, the day after my 16th birthday in fact my mother and I went somewhere north of the city to go hiking. It was almost like an Indian-summer day, and it was on a Sunday. A perfect day to spend outdoors. Then around 5pm I started feeling *very* hungry and was ready to eat just about anything. My mom and I found a restaurant, still out in the sticks but it had a very unclean appearance. I didn't care, all I wanted to do was eat. I ordered a burger with french fries which I had basically wolfed down and had a chocolate eclair afterwards. About 40 minutes later, right before we had just gotten home, I started feeling like something was very wrong. I surprisingly wasnt all that nauseated but I felt like I was coming down with something strange. I became dizzy, lightheaded, had a horrible headache, was sweaty, became a little difficult to breathe, and my stomach did cramp but didn't feel like vomiting. However I completely freaked out and didn't know why I was feeling like this and it all came down on me fast. My mother was concerned what could have been wrong and phoned the hospital. She was on the phone with them for at least 5 minutes and my step-dad was with me trying to calm me down because I was really scared. I didn't think I was coming down with a virus, it didn't feel like that. Right after my mother had gotten off the phone with them, she said that they wanted me to be seen, then I was taken down. I was so scared and felt even worse that I was silent but the tears just kept on streaming down. There was a nurse and she led me into a
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