A tad out of hand

[sbias]

Ok something has to be said about a few things that have happened on here as of late, and yes I was guilty of it too. So I want to throw my two cents in about it, and maybe help out a little bit.


I think some of us want to be better so badly, that we come here and pour emotions out, and when we hear something we don't like we take serious offense to it, we snap back and get pissy. Then we threaten to leave and end up making ourselves upset, thats not a good way to try and get better, nor is it a good example to set for the newer people that join our fine forum, and no I am not pointing fingers, I was guilty of this, and I shouldn't have been.


I was talking last night to a few people that said that they are going to stay away from the forums for a while because of the drama that is unfolding on here. We don't need to lose these people, everyone on here is important, and vital to everyone else.


If someone pisses you off on here, look at it like you would a brother or sister, give em a noogie, hide their diary, hell draw a funny little cartoon of them getting smacked on the butt with a paddle, we shouldn't bicker. We are all after the same goal here. Each and everyone of us want to get better. As far as bringing personal things in to the forum, for those of you who aren't aware of it, or are too new, my wife sat on another man's lap, ummmmm and she wasn't wearing any pants, if you catch my drift. I told the people here because I trust all of you, and I needed help, and let me just say this, my MSN messenger was on fire with how many windows were popping up. It made me feel great to know that SO many people that had never met me in person rushed to my aide. A few of you even offered phone numbers just to talk. People I had known for 16 years, didn't even call me. Thats why I hate when any of us get upset with one another.


Now come on people smile [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]





Stephen

[2jo2]

Well said, Stephen!

[sarahx]

Awww, see we all love each other!!!


We all need one another to cope with and beat emet. Nobody needs to stay away we should all just make te effort to get on! And if someone upsets u, try pm-ing them and tellin them that what they said upset u, then it doest look like ur ambushing them for everyone to see on the forums?? Just an idea? Most of the time its a misunderstanding?


Love you all loads and millions!!!!!


Sarah xxx

[faith-marilyn]

haha yeah Stephen you're right, altho i dont think ppl purposefully get annoyed, its just very stressful and a lot of us here are suffering from depression and sometimes its easier to shout at people on a forum than it is the people who are around u everyday, so i think some of it is just due to letting off steam which is completely understandable, we shud have a little letting off steam section that isnt related to anything else so ppl can just yell and shout without offending anyone or directing it to anyone else within other emet related topics! anyway yeah steven, YOU GO!
love always
Faith-M xxxx

[Jenneh]

we all have lost a very good person from this forum. who didnt even say goodbye before she left because she felt no one cared. im not gnna say her name, isnt my place, but i knew at that point, things were going OTT.


iv already commented on the other thread tho -- so i wont re-wruite it here... a bit pointless =|


Jen xxxx

[sarahx]

Who has gone...? Cos a few of the ppl who posted a lot on here when i first joined dont post anymore (


Its sad (


Sarah xxx

[sage]

We must all remember that we are a group of people who suffer from an emotional disorder! As such, anxiety is often high in all aspects of our lives, not just manifested in phobic symptoms. As well, the lack of "flesh" contact, i.e., face-to-face interaction and relationships means that people can get more reactive without thinking, and fire off posts they haven't thought through. The response time takes so much longer than "in the flesh" that misunderstandings can run rampant.


We must also remember that we are not responsible for the emotional reactivity of another. Everyone here can take responsibility for themselves, and how they interpret comments. We can't possibly change others, only ourselves.


I really don't know the scuttlebut, as I don't really read all posts - just threads where I think i might be of some help. But really, these things come around every so often no matter what we do. In the 2 years I've been here, I've seen lots of people come and go...some drift away...others get mad and leave. I've done both! At one point I was the childish one who got mad and left and said a bunch of stuff I regretted. But as I continued my work in therapy (on the phobia) I came to realize that this relational pattern in my life was indicative of running away from problems and self-protection. I worked through it, changed myself and stopped blaming others for how I felt. I'm still not perfect by any means, but I had to grow up a lot in the past 2 years, even at age 45. I think I'm a better person because of it, and for sure a better therapist - more in tune with others than ever before.


Anyway my point is that if someone gets upset because "they don't think we care", then that is their issue, and their own emotional reaction. We do care. This is obvious to almost everyone almost all of the time. When it becomes unobvious to one person, then they have a responsibility to ask themselves why they reacted that way, or to calmly ask people for clarification or reassurance of their love and care, and then grow from this experience. Neither they nor anyone else has the right to expect others to change around them, unless those others are being intentionally hurtful. (And again, I don't know what you're all talking about, so I'm making general comments only).


So we keep on keeping on, and do our best to show love, care and respect and help others. How they react is up to them. How we react is up to us!

[sarahx]

well said sage !!


Sarah xxx

[Jenneh]

hey, i agree with all of what sage said.


just now i read a post where i cud of reacted in a defensive way... as it was written in a way that i cud have taken offense to, but i just didnt reply. its up to this person if she wants to think what she does.


Jen xxxx