i just read something that made me think...... this woman took two full strength does of ipicac and didnt v* she also ate a bunch of food and drank salt water.
im sure she is traumatized.
but just think, if we get n* and dont v* for 12 years (for me, knock on wood) or more then there must be some way that we control it. its not just a miracle. or at least thats what i think. if it was impossible to stop, then i dont think any of us would have this phobia.
i dont really know how to explain my thinking on this but if we v* every time we were n*, then we wouldnt have this fear because we would be used to it and know what it was like. for me, its fear of the unknown. i've tried to let myself v* before but it didnt work. im guessing because i, in my mind really didnt want to, but i was trying to convince myself that i wanted to.