my boyfriend

[sicpuppy]

My boyfriend just told me he wants to break up with me after 2 and a half years because he can't stand this anymore..and by this it means my "i'm sorry i can't go with you " " i'm sorry but i want to stay home " ..my emetophobia saying sorry ..im..speachless...im having p*a* i want to simply die! I wont do stupid stuff like suicide or other crap ( excuse my language please ) but emetophobia ruined my life tonight..i love him ..he loves me but he can't deal with it ..i don't know what to do..i really want to knock myself to sleep

[kellybeth]

You poor thing. My emet and panic attacks have gotten in the way of a realtionship in the past. It is terrible. I know how hard it is to do things like go to the movies or out to eat or whatever. It sucks when your bf wants to go lots of places and your to 'sick' to go.

I don't know what else to say other then I'm sorry and I know what your going through. But if you love him and he loves you maybe you guys can smooth things out and find a comfortable middle.

[asianeko]

Does he know why it bothers you? I mean, does he fully understand how terrifying being an emet is?

[3littlebirds]

im so sorry to hear that I would say, if you want, talk to him and say how hard things are for you, but that you want to change and that you will change for him. then that will be the perfect motivation for changing, for beating emet, for stopping it from controlling your life. explain how hard this struggle is.
or if you feel like you have already made a huge effort and he is not appreciating that, and that you shouldnt have to change, then walk away and hopefully you will find someone that understands better or just accepts this difficulty.
best of luck, stay strong, you can get through this a day at a time. x

[3littlebirds]

oh and dont be hard on yourself for this. it isnt your fault and if it is meant to be, he will love you inspite of your emet x

[icicledreamz]

Anxiety and emetophobia can really take a toll on a relationship, especially when the other person doesn't understand, or try to. It's a very frightning place for us.
Non-emetophobia people cant relate to us, and most just think its ridiculous, but the fact is its a real problem.

Have you actually sat down and talked to him about this? I'm sure he knows somethings up by you not wanting to go places with him and such, but does he really know what it is and the extent of it? And are you trying to get help in anyway? This also can be very fustrating to a significant other. But you can't just help yourself for somebody else, you have to want to do it for yourself.
This could be a good time for you to reflect on your life and ways for you to start getting better.

Honestly though, if someone im with can't understand my phobia and anxiety, they dont deserve to be with me, cause it is apart of my life, and if they want in my life then they have to be there to support and love me no matter what. My ex of 5 years never understood me, ridiculed me for it, and never even tried to understand.
The guy i've been seeing for almost a year now understands me completley, and helps me any way he can.
He's helping me get better and supports me.
Its much easier for me to be with somebody i know that supports me, that understands, and is there for me.
It's less stress for me, and gives me the motivation to be better.

I think it may be time for you to see somebody about this, whether it be a doctor or a therapist.
You definatley don't want it interfearing with your life like this.

[teh folder]

Honestly though, if someone im with can't understand my phobia and anxiety, they dont deserve to be with me, cause it is apart of my life, and if they want in my life then they have to be there to support and love me no matter what. My ex of 5 years never understood me, ridiculed me for it, and never even tried to understand.

Getting dumped sucks, (although I am too much of a wimp to ask a girl offline out in the first place so what would I know.) But in the future you may come to realize it was for the best. You may find someone more supporting. I guess that really is not going to make you feel any better right now – but just don’t give up. You will pass though this part of your life and come out stronger. You will meet someone who understands. [img]smileys/smilies_13.gif[/img]
Keep that chin up!

[sicpuppy]

thanks you guy..i just hope he makes up his mind or something. He knows aboiut my emetophobia but i've been better and he tought that my emet has gone..but it never went away .

I'll be ok...i think i'll marry my anxiety attack [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[afraid213]

um, please dont say that kind of stuff. i've attempted suicide twice and i most certainly am not stupid. i have impulse control problems. i get scared s***less when n* and feel suicide is the only way to end it after 15 hours of it. i would rather die then v*.

[teh folder]

um, please dont say that kind of stuff. i've attempted suicide twice and i most certainly am not stupid. i have impulse control problems. i get scared s***less when n* and feel suicide is the only way to end it after 15 hours of it. i would rather die then v*.

Who told you to kill yourself? NEVER kill yourself. That is the worst thing you could possibly do. If you ever feel like you are going to:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

[teh folder]

um, please dont say that kind of stuff. i've attempted suicide twice and i most certainly am not stupid. i have impulse control problems. i get scared s***less when n* and feel suicide is the only way to end it after 15 hours of it. i would rather die then v*.

Who told you to kill yourself? NEVER kill yourself. That is the worst thing you could possibly do. If you ever feel like you are going to:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Sorry ignore this I read your post wrong. Suicidal people are not stupid, they just usually have health problems.

[tallgirl]

Sorry this has happened, my boyfriend split up with me a few weeks ago too, nothing to do with my emet though, just bad timing. The weird thing is, since this has happened, I haven't worried about being unwell once, it has been nearly a month and it feels really good as much as it hurts if you know what I mean. I really hope I can carry this on.

You never know, he may just need a bit of time. Hope everything gets sorted soon!! x

[EstherB]

I don't think that sicpuppy actually called people who attempt suicide stupid... I think what she acually called stupid was suicide itself. Plus, I think we would all agree that there is a common phrase used to refer to suicide, namely 'doing something stupid'. It's common parlance and not generally considered insulting or offensive! She didn't call anybody stupid. In fact, she started a post because she was really upset about her boyfriend ending their relationship and posted here for support - which is what we're here to provide. I didn't find what she said remotely offensive and if you read her post properly, she certainly never said that people who attempt suicide are stupid.

[mizzjoey81]

Hi I'm knew to this forum and thank god!! I thought I was just crazy but anyways I know how difficult it is to suffer this way and to try and have a relationship. It's even harder for me because my bf is a musician and very outgoing so imagine having to drag my ass to public places and gigs for the past five years. I have scars from digging my nails into my skin when I'm out, nervous and sick. I'm lucky that he loves me enough to put up with it and I wouldn't blame him if he ever does leave me. I started going out with him fully aware of his lifestyle and how I totally don't fit into it. The past year I haven't gone to any gigs with him and I don't miss it at all! It's actually been better for me since it's helped me be calmer and I can enjoy the one on one days I'm with him much better instead of the retarded days when I freak out because I'm out and feeling sick. Point is....if someone loves you enough they'll stick by your side and if they don't then you don't need them. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[nausea_hater]

oh god! im really sorry to hear that!
but, you know, if he just can't handle it and doesn't understand it, maybe its for the best for the two of you to break up. if he can't handle it, then you should ditch him and trade him up for someone who CAN handle it. if hes willing to give you up just because of your phobia, then you can do better

[moggs]

I think I would agree with the opinion of most others here, that he should be more understanding. I am sure that you would have accepted things about him that you didn't like if you knew there was very little he could do about it. Although I have found non-emets don't ever understand what it is like for us (not even therapists).

I will say that I split up with my non-understanding husband 5 years ago & it was only after I did so I realised that being with him was actually making me worse. It wasn't that he actually said anything but I was sensing his attitude & this was making me anxious & perpetuating my panic attacks. I have achieved far more since we split & would NEVER go back. Perhaps one day you might feel the same?

[s_bgood]

i hope things are going well for you. my ex, as well, left me
because the pain and hassle became to much.. but i met
someone else and have come to realize it was a blessing that
he left me.. he really didn't understand and get along with me
that well and i ended up finding someone new. i am in the
process of fixing things for myself and since then have
realized that my anxiety has gone down and that i am much
more happy. i hope things get brighter for you and if you need
anything just pm me

[sicpuppy]

well ..im ok..no more panic and..no more boyfriend..meh..life sometimes sucks..