Christ guys I just had to vent cause I really feel like I am seriously losing it. I will try not to make this post too long cause it will just bore the pants of you all. We are all in the same boat in that we absolutely hate vomit. We all have that in common. My phobia is so out of control I want to die. Nobody without this phobia understands what it feels like to have it and it is driving me crazy. I can't live like this anymore. Everywhere I go it's there or everyone is talking about it. It is on my mind 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. I eat, sleep and drink vomit so to speak. I feel sick to my stomach tonight cause of this phobia and what has made it worse is that my so called best mate constantly rings me to tell me v stories and today she rang me out of the blue just to tell me one. Man this has to stop. She has to stop doing this to me. I am completely freaking out by her story and I wasn't even there but I think the problem is that it has happened somewhere where I know I will have to go sooner or later but I don't want to now but I know I won't have a choice. I am building up this story in my mind about what happened, who did it, and why. I am sure all you guys know the feeling. It is almost worse not having seen it myself. By the time I got off the phone to my best mate I wanted to kill her. How could she be so insensitive. Why does she keep doing this to me. I think she thinks that I want to hear about it. It just makes me feel sick to my stomach but for some reason it has affected me more today than perhaps it usually would.


Basically I think the phobia has just totally got to me to the point that it is everywhere I go and I am convinced it is out to get me. People I talk to say that they never see it so why is it everywhere I go. Tonight I just feel like ending it all because I cannot live like this. It has also been freaking me out lately that some of us emets on here have been sick and I guess at the back of my mind I always thought that as an emet it was impossible to throw up but it obviously isn't so what if I am next on the list and everyone on this site is cursed and is due to do the deed one by one in turn. I know that is madness but this phobia is just sending me crazy in the head. Who wants to think about vomit 24 hours a day, not me but I have no choice. I hate life right now and I really don't want to be here. Sorry if I am doing your head in guys I just can't cope anymore. Please help.