starting to get to the nitty gritty...

[mbs730]

I just saw my therapist today.. and now that he has
assessed me this is his plan. Based on what he sees from the test from
last week and my big questionnairre he gave me, I am horribly anxious,
little things aggitate me, not really depressed, which is true... and
its no wonder I have a phobia, being this (well I have 2 phobias but I
am concentrating on the emet, whatever he does may help me with the
other too if I apply it), he says that I breathe way too hard and fast,
and my muscle tension is very bad... so he is going to get to me
physiologically relax, he has the apparatus for that... in other words
the engine has to be slowed down before the others has to start...then
once that is done he is going to work on the behavior aspect of it,
then the cognitive...he said that he may not even do exposure therapy
with me but we will see where we are at that point.... its going to
take probably at least a good 6 months he figures, but no time limits
are being set, just goals but whenever the goals are reached, that is
when they are reached... his goal is for me to slow down my breathing,
and to untense my body and finally if I hear of someone being
sick I wont feel all anxious, resent them and be all panicky, he wants
to me to be able to say "oh sorry to hear that, hope you are feeling
better" then not care and forget about it. I mean no one wants to be
around anyone who is sick... but you know, being an emet is a lot more
than just saying "EWWWWW gross", in other words he plans to get me to
be that way.. sounds pretty distant but I believe it will happen, in
time, having an emet-free life sounds like a dream come true... however
he feels there is a lot more to just plain emet in the fact that I
still am unable to forgive my husband for being sick... I am not sure
about that, he has more than made up for the other things that he did
that was in his control but maybe deep down I still am angry with him
for the awful treatment from 2 years ago. Maybe once this is all sorted
out, if I still feel the resentment towards him, then I would say the
therapist might be correct. Right now I am not too sure. Before anyone
jumps down my throat again about my SIL, I am going to say this once
more... her v'ing is NOT the only reason I cant be around her. Besides
I know she is part of the family and I know I have to accept it but...
how can I like someone that has hurt me and all of us??... I think its
safe to say that my family has smartened up about her, I know now they
finally saw the light. Something did happen that makes me believe
that now... I get the feeling though, that once I deal with this emet,
my feelings towards her wont really change all that much but I may see
her to be less of a filthy person. I have a feeling that will be the
extent of it. Anyway I just wanted to let you know what the plan is
about how I am going to be treated for this. I see him again next
Friday.



Miriam

</font>

[mbs730]

Wow... I understand that sometimes people dont reply
because they just dont know what to say but... a little congrats for
taking a big step would be nice... 15 view, no replies, makes me feel
REALLY good!</font>

[u4ia]

That therapy really sounds interesting, also sounds like the doc knows what he is doing. I give you two thumbs up! I still cant even think of taking a big step like that, yet anyway.


Cheers to you M!!!!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

Neither can I! I'm out, I cant do this</font>

[2jo2]

Wow!!! I think that is such super positive news!!!!! Wouldn't you say that physiological problems are easier to solve than psychological? I'm so happy for you!!! You seem to be positive about this, and that's awesome!!!!! Can't wait to see how it goes down the line!!!


Yeah!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

I'm sorry but I am getting cold feet... things are bad. I am at my parents house and my father said he is n, I am avoiding him like the plague right now. My mother said "I know this is hard but you cant avoid us for the rest of the night.... well too bad, I'm doing damn well what I please. I cant be around him if he is going to be sick! I dont think I can get through this. I'm sorry. I was excited initially but I dont see how I can.

[2jo2]

Oh no... I wonder why he's nauseous.... ugh...

[sage]

Next Friday, be sure to let your therapist know how you felt today after session. Don't worry - it's quite common to feel very anxious once you start to grow a little bit, or should I say - peek into the doorway of your pain and check out what's in there. It IS scary. But I promise you, you won't feel this way all week. Remember, it's going to begin with some simple breathing and relaxation exercises that will EVENTUALLY make you feel better (it's not a magic "fix", but it will work). Whenever it gets too hard, the rule of thumb for successful treatment in therapy is to "return to the relationship" (with the therapist). Let him know it's too hard, how anxious you really are, what you fear. If you feel hurt, enraged, invalidated, overwhelmed...whatever...don't run away from therapy, TELL HIM. This is valuable information, and your therapist will adjust himself and his treatment because of it. He will also get to know you better! Give him a chance to care about you, and help you - good therapists do care - a lot!


Good luck and hang in there!

[mbs730]

So I guess this cold feet feeling is normal... I just
feel like I lost so much faith tonight. I dont know... as far as my
father goes, he was fine. He is diabetic and if he eats something too
high in sugar, he doesnt feel great. But he knows of my phobia and yet
he had to say it around me. Gets me so so mad. I gave my family the
booklet, they acted as if they had learned a lot from it but they are
obviously quickly forgetting. Sometimes I feel its no use and sometimes
I feel TRUELY TRUELY alone! I mean I appreciate the fact that they cant
completely understand how I am feeling since they are no emets but...
on the other hand I wish they would be more compassionate
sometimes.</font>

[2jo2]

So are you the opposite of me then? I would rather KNOW who feels sick and who doesn't, so then I'm in control and can decide for myself if I want to stay and be around them or leave. It is all about control for me. I was afraid of telling my husband for partly that reason, that I was scared he'd pull back on how he feels, so he doesn't upset me. I told him that in no circumstances should he do that. I'd just rather know if I'm being exposed to someone potentially being sick.

[Jenneh]

Hey Miriam - sorry i didnt reply to this sooner but hvent been around to view it.


i was reading ur post going " omg how lucky .... man im jealous" that man sounds lke a kinda god-send that im waiting for. sounds like hes got so much knowledge and understanfing up his sleeve, even if he helps you only a little bit it will make a huge difference in ur life!


im so glad ur getting this opportunity to get some help.


as for ur parents -- you do what u "damn please" as u said. -- if it means avoiding ur dad all night atm, then so be it.


ur going into therapy now, and will be working hard with ur therapist to help you with times like this -- so dont feel bad about urself for not being able to manage it straight awy.


good luck with it all, please stay here with us, becaiuse i'd b very interested in knowing how this all turns out for you.


Jen xxxxxxxxxx