ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

**e-lizabeth** · 10-22-2004, 08:50 PM

Maybe it's the fact that my baby is due in 8 days and I'm getting really uncomfortable, or maybe I'm just a lot older than a lot of the others here, but I really am running out of patience for the personal politics on this site. It's ruining it for others - if not for others, then for me. I'm getting really tired of coming online and seeing this BS between members.

We are here because we all need support. We don't all need the same kind of support, we don't all have the same level of emet - I've been much worse off than I am now, and I know I probably will be again. But words of support are words of support and even if one doesn't necessarily think the support offered is exactly what is needed in the moment, that's no reason to lash out.

Quite frankly, I'm distressed that I logged on tonight and almost every discussion topic ends with a sarcastic comment about one member by another. I'm also getting upset by the amount of space that is taken up by people threatening to leave because they're upset at something that someone said and are waiting for others to beg them to stay. How is that helpful for anyone? Of course we all want EVERY SINGLE MEMBER of this forum to stay!!!! That goes without saying. We are all here to give and receive support and nobody wants anyone else to lose that line of support or communication, but enough is enough. Let's try to focus on the real issues of life, and stop lashing out.

I'm sure I've opened a whole new can of worms, and I'm sure I've pissed some people off, and if I've offended anyone, I apologize. But this has been a really useful and great forum in the past and I think it's really important that that be retained - let's all try to remember why we're here, guys.

**sage** · 10-22-2004, 09:37 PM

I agree. I've deleted several posts and I'm still reading.

I'm not the kind of moderator who wants to censor stuff, but if a post is just sarcastic or in any other way disrespectful with no insight as to how to help emet, then it's gone.

Posters who do add nothing toa) help others in theirquest for treatment, or b) helpwith symptom relief, or c) provide moral support and encouragement or d) add comic relief through mindless chatterwill be banned from the site!

**HDogg** · 10-22-2004, 10:12 PM

I'm not sure what has been going on lately, because I don't visit the site as often as I used to. But I have noticed a little bit of this too. I don't know if we're all stressed about school, work, the upcoming election, neverending emet, or what, but whatever it is, we need to grow up and act like adults (sorry for those who aren't adults yet--you can't expect to be an adult), and we all need to be mature, no matter what our age.

I hope your labor and delivery goes very well Elizabeth. You will have a new baby very very soon and the swelling, puffiness, cramping, constantly peeing, etc., will be over before you know it! God bless! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

**kentuckygalrk** · 10-22-2004, 10:26 PM

Thank you for that Elizabeth... and Sage, you too for moderating as best you can.

I don't know what's been going on here as of late either, but I'm staying as uninvolved as I can in the situations I feel are causing trouble. I'm not one to make negative comments 1) about someone I don't know at all, and 2) about someone who's not present to defend themselves, as Sage said.
I don't want to see anyone leave this boardbecause I knowhow much it has helped me and I wantyou all toexperience that same feeling.

Humor is always good though. Stephen's jokes made a great read foranyone who needed to take their mind off of things and so do all the other humorous entries.

I also like the posts about going on trips and such, forweddings, marriages, children beingborn general life experiences... those are all WONDERFUL things that shouldbe shared here with friends because those are triumphs too even if they aren't necessarily of the emet category! There are fun things to talk about and some aren't so fun... but let's not allow conversations to tear us apart...this group is too important to too many of us to see it going down like this! If you see something you don't like... then just be a big hearted person by not saying a thing. Leave that post and pretend you never read it... it's that easy.Really it is!

Luv n'hugz

~Rachel

**Galadriel** · 10-23-2004, 01:30 AM

Yeah I gotta say I agree with y'all, speically Rachel. I've pretty much kept out of those things, and yeah I dont want to see people get divided.

**emmab** · 10-23-2004, 02:20 AM

Elizabeth I agree. We should be here to support each other and create friction between each other.

**emmab** · 10-23-2004, 02:20 AM

Sorry that was supposed to say "not create friction with each other" Sorry

**Jenneh** · 10-23-2004, 02:58 AM

again -- iv decided to keep out of these types of posts.

im here to support those who are grateful not try and please everyone and keep eveyrone here like a family. thats not my job.

Edited by: Jenneh

**sarahx** · 10-23-2004, 04:27 AM

I hear where youre coming from! I just want everyone to get along! I like coming on here to get great support from everyone and i like to give as much support as i can. But its hard sometimes. I just wish everyone would chill out a little [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img].

Sarah xxx

**hippychick** · 10-23-2004, 05:56 AM

I feel the same. I have been here for two years and have seen the forum change some what. Sure in the past there would be some spats but mostly there were not any. I don't wanna sound like an old lady remembering the good old days, but I do miss the small knit support forum that used to be here. I think because of anxiety problems people have it makes them a little more sensitive but I would say this. If ever you have a problem with another poster do not bring that fight here, we do not want to hear it.

I have respect for those who leave the forum because they do not think they can be around for a while (maybe the talk of V* is getting them down etc) But i have no respect for the "everyone hates me" posts. This is a support forum not somewhere to take out your problems on other people. We are all dealing with problems.Edited by: hippychick

**Jenneh** · 10-23-2004, 06:03 AM

hippychick i just have to comment that i have a lot of respect for you. when i first joined these boards, ages and ages and ages ago i always remember you as being a very wise one. i dont know why... just u always stood out to me that way!

and becuase you made me feel so welcome, i try my hardest to write back to any of ur posts (altho i have to say, i hvent seen one in a long long time) -- just wanted you to know that u are appreciated!

Jen xxxx

**hippychick** · 10-23-2004, 06:10 AM

Thank You Jenneh thats very sweet of you to say. I got rid of that sentence in my post, just in case people think i was aiming for attention lol I don't mind if I only get 3 responses to a thread, they are usually very sweet responses and very helpful like yours, which i am grateful for so I cant complain.

**izzybee** · 10-23-2004, 06:39 AM

I agree with this althouhg I'm not going to try and get involved. Only show my support for what you are saying. I think that if there is a dissagreement we shouldnt post saying what we think. Its probably better for the poeple involved to sort it out themselves - maybe with the help of moderators (who are doing a fantastic job)

This site has changed alot recently, but its nothing that cant be resolved i'm sure.

**crazybeautiful** · 10-23-2004, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by e-lizabeth

Maybe it's the fact that my baby is due in 8 days and I'm getting really uncomfortable, or maybe I'm just a lot older than a lot of the others here, but I really am running out of patience for the personal politics on this site. It's ruining it for others - if not for others, then for me. I'm getting really tired of coming online and seeing this BS between members.

We are here because we all need support. We don't all need the same kind of support, we don't all have the same level of emet - I've been much worse off than I am now, and I know I probably will be again. But words of support are words of support and even if one doesn't necessarily think the support offered is exactly what is needed in the moment, that's no reason to lash out.

Quite frankly, I'm distressed that I logged on tonight and almost every discussion topic ends with a sarcastic comment about one member by another. I'm also getting upset by the amount of space that is taken up by people threatening to leave because they're upset at something that someone said and are waiting for others to beg them to stay. How is that helpful for anyone? Of course we all want EVERY SINGLE MEMBER of this forum to stay!!!! That goes without saying. We are all here to give and receive support and nobody wants anyone else to lose that line of support or communication, but enough is enough. Let's try to focus on the real issues of life, and stop lashing out.

I'm sure I've opened a whole new can of worms, and I'm sure I've pissed some people off, and if I've offended anyone, I apologize. But this has been a really useful and great forum in the past and I think it's really important that that be retained - let's all try to remember why we're here, guys.

THANK GOD YOU SAID IT. I've been staying away from this site, because mostly of frustration. I wasn't finding much support, all the off-topic threads, all the threats to leave. I've said this before....we are here to support eachother with our fear of VOMITTING! I don't mind some of the off-topic threads, but it's getting out of hand, I had to leave for a bit.As I said last time in my post, I hope it works itself out, I'm not going to post again for awhile.

**Galadriel** · 10-23-2004, 08:14 AM

Yeah gotta admit I havent been posting quite as much either. I do kinda miss the closeness of the older boards, but its good to have people here coming in and getting support. Its always great when a person realizes they aren't alone in this...

**trickyvicky** · 10-23-2004, 09:00 AM

well I'm so glad something has been said,as the site lately has got me so down.It's been such a difficult time for me,with what is important to me,my Nan dying......(as i'm sure it has for others) i didn't get lots of reply when i posted but that gives me no reason to leave or think people hate me......i know that the people that replyed are the ones that are always there for me......losing my Nan a few days ago has made me realise life is to short to be fighting over silly things,guys lets remember whats important in life....people dying and babies being born,Elizabeth i really hope everything goes well and u bring a beautiful precious human being into this life.....its great to here as one leaves another one arrives......i hope this site does not carry on being a school playground......anyway i must go as i have alot of preparing to do for my Nan's funeral.....

take care and please lets all get on!!!!!!

Vicky xxx

**hippychick** · 10-23-2004, 09:40 AM

*hugs vicky* Sorry I haven't exactly been there for you lately.I hope everything goes as ok as it can today for you and if you do wanna talk feel free to PM me anytime. What you just said was really lovely. I wish I had posted to your thread but to be honest I havent been here that much lately and for that I am sorry.

**trickyvicky** · 10-23-2004, 10:14 AM

Hippychick,thankyou for that reply,i know that not everyone can be there when needed,and i dont think anything less of u for not replying,u have been so supportive to me so please don't feel anything other....i'm sure things have been hard for other people here aswell and i don't c my problem as being anything less the theres......i just wish people could get on and listening to my mum cry till no more tears can fall,it's so painful,i know that she is hurting and i guess when i c so many people get upset on here i put things into prespective....

take care hippychick love vicky xx

**alliecat** · 10-23-2004, 11:09 AM

Very well said, E-lizabeth! Thank you. I tried to say something of the sort yesterday after I read some of the, uh, well, hostility I might call it..... and I don't think that anyone could have said it any better than you.

**party_boi3423** · 10-23-2004, 03:46 PM

Well in my post on my christian faith i think i may have caused a fight. It doesnt matter if you dont believe in god or anything that the bible says. I just agree with this statement:

Jesus Enjoys Seeing Us Smile

I just feel everyone is a better person when theyre not biased and when they compensate with others' views. It doesnt matter if you dont agree with this, but it is still nicer to smile and be happy than getting down each others' throats all the time. I don't like swearing not just because im a christian, i just feel the words sound dirty to say, Thats just my viewEdited by: party_boi3423

**spilled_milk** · 10-23-2004, 03:54 PM

Thank you guys for saying all this! I'm trying not to get in the middle of all of it...although I know that sometimes I probably do. It was bugging me recently though, so thanks for saying what I wanted to say. You said it so much better than how I would have!

**thewalkindude** · 10-23-2004, 05:30 PM

I haven't noticed a thing, but then again, I haven't been here too long. All I can say is that she's right. We are not here to cause problems with each other. We are here to help each other with our problems

**e-lizabeth** · 10-24-2004, 12:48 PM

Gosh, guys, you have no idea how relieved and pleased I am at the response I've gotten from this post. When I posted it Friday night, I was really nervous but I'd had it up the ying yang with what was going on....I'm so happy to see that so many people felt the way I did, and so grateful that people responded with gratitude and agreement.

Anyway, I've noticed a distinct change since then, and I couldn't be happier.

In the meantime, 6 days to go till my due date...however, as I explain to my daughter every day, babies have their own schedules, so who knows. I'll definitely let you guys know when the little critter is born though.[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

**sarahx** · 10-24-2004, 12:52 PM

Awww a little baby hehe i want a baby so badly im so jealous!!

**izzybee** · 10-24-2004, 01:01 PM

glad that you are feeling a bit better and all the best wishes for the new baby! please keep us updated!

**Jenneh** · 10-24-2004, 01:17 PM

good luck with it all you!

Jen xxx

**Galadriel** · 10-24-2004, 02:12 PM

Good luck on your babie's birth e-lizabeth!

**ejb199** · 10-24-2004, 02:19 PM

Well i havent been around for a while - but like Louise (hippy chick) said - ive also been using this site for over two years now. i cant really comment since i havent posted for a month yet (holidays, work and fun getting in the way!) but i really hope that the forum doesnt change for the worst coz it has helped me really beocme the person i am now! ie much better - keep at it SAGE!

**HDogg** · 10-24-2004, 10:09 PM

Elizabeth, I am so happy for you! I can't wait until the day my husband says, "So, do you want to have a baby now?" I can't wait to hear about the new little one!

Spilled milk,

I love that avatar! Call me crazy, but I always loved cherries--not just because they taste good, but because they are nice to look at, lol! I want to decorate my kitchen in cherries, if I ever get the money to remodel, lol.

**Babydoll** · 10-25-2004, 08:10 PM

I agree. Im tired of everyone feeling sorry for themselves. It seems like an attention getter for me.

I'm glad you said it and not me. and if anyone wants to leave the board I'm not going to pitty them and beg them to stay. I'll say good luck and hope they do the best.

It was really starting to get old.

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