Newbie Needs Help

[dravis]

Hi all. I'm a 28 year old married father of two. I've had
emets for probably about 20 years and during that time I've v*ed maybe
half a dozen times or so tops. The last time I got sick (last
year) I gave in because I couldn't stand being nauseous any more and I
was actually going to allow myself to v* but it just wouldn't happen.



Last week our daughter slept over a friends house and in the middle of
the night her friend got sick... imagine that! Any way the last
week has been torture for me, I've been counting down the days to 1
week (if anyone in our family is exposed to sickness I generally start
feeling a lot better if a week passes without them getting sick).
And tonight would have been the 1 week mark but guess what? Last
night, in the middle of the night, our daughter got sick.



Thank God for my wife because she took care of her, I simply can't even
be near her when she's sick. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep hardly at
all from that point on, and now today I haven't been able to eat and
the rest of the family (including myself) getting sick is all I can
think about. I can't stand this, I'm a Christian man, I believe
in God, I pray for strength to confront this fear, but nothing I do
seems to weaken it. If anything it seems to get stronger through
the years.



My wife doesn't understand it. I tell her I'm terrified of
v*ing and she says "Well yeah no one likes it". Of course
no one likes it but I literally get paralyzed with fear of it.
I'm a huge Red Sox fan and I was looking forward to watching the World
Series game tonight but I don't know how I'm supposed to have any fun
constantly thinking I'm going to get sick any day this week. What
can I do?


Edited by: dravis

[jazz]

Relax, the chances are very small. Even if you are completely terrified of the thought of getting sick.. there is absolutely no reason you will get sick during the World Series!
You're poor little one! Does she feel any better now?
Congratulations on allowing yourself to vomit, i don't think i could bring myself to do that! I am sitting here feeling very nauseated, just willing it away, what you did took courage.
I'm glad you have managed to find this site, have you considred showing your wife this? Maybe then she would appreciate that your problem is perhaps a little more serious.


I also found it difficult getting taken seriously. I always "knew" that i had an issue as far as vomiting was concerned, but up until april, I'd never had a name for it..
have a quiet word, i hope your daughter is better.


enjoy the game too!

[Melikasa]

It is a pleasure to have you on the board. I am 25 and have emet (not knowing it had a name till 2 years ago) for 23 years. I am a mother to a 21 month old and wife to a great husband. He doesn't understand the emet either I get the same line but he does everything he can to make it comfortable for me when I feel sick. Since my stress levels have gone down since we moved out of the city and with my new meds I have been getting better with the others getting sick. I still freak out a little when I feel nauseated.
I have only been sick about a dozen times in all my life as well.
I hope that you find info, comfort, and all the prayers you need for stregth and comfort here on the board.
Feel free to email me any time or PM me when I am on.

[dravis]

Our daughter is doing a lot better thanks. My wife has been
keeping me posted via IM (I've been at work all day). Her stomach
still hurts but she held down a little toast for breakfast and some
lunch. I'm more worried about our son catching it now. He's
only 23 months old and can dehydrate a lot easier.



A couple months ago when I was freaking myself out I searched online
and that's the first I'd heard of the term emetophobia. I
actually did show my wife the definition of it and some other website
that explained it some. She doesn't think that I have it though
because I don't have some of the extreme behaviors associated with
it. Maybe mines not as severe as some but I know it impacts my
life on almost a daily basis so that's bad enough for me.



I found this site today and reading through some of the posts has
helped calm me down some. I know it's going to be a tough few
days here wondering if that bug is going to work in me but at least now
I know I'm not alone when it comes to being overtaken by this
completely irrational fear. Thanks.

[crazybeautiful]

Hey Dravis,


I know how you feel. But just to let you know....My brother got sick one night, he was 17 and I was 19, this was about a year ago. He was really sick for a day or two, and I never caught it from him. So be careful to wash your hands, and eat and sleep well, and you should be fine.


I'll say a prayer for you and the family.


Welcome to the boards by the way.

[2jo2]

Welcome to the board. It's a really comforting place to be when you are having a rough time.


Sorry to hear your daughter is sick. I don't have kids myself and can't imagine dealing with a sick child. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


Just because you don't have some of the extreme behaviors that some people do does not mean you are not an emet. All of us are different and deal with our fear in a different way. There is alot of information on this site that you could show your wife to help her understand. I hope she can understand that right now you're having a tough time and you may not be acting "normal". I'm way more afraid of others getting sick than I am of myself, not that I'm not afraid of myself v*ing, but relatively I'm more afraid of others. My point is that we're all different and can't always be difined by certain specific behaviors.


Let us know how you're doing. Wash your hands often, don't touch your face, and ask your wife to do the same. Take care.

[Melikasa]

Babies (especially the ones that are or have been breastfed) are very resilient. My husband got sick with a bad cold and a flu type thing since our son was born and he has not had much of anything other than the bad sniffles. So unless your daughter has been exchanging saliva by sharing toys oraly or kissing him on the mouth I am sure he is ok.
Babies don't tend to fight nausea either it just happens so the bug is gotten rid of quite quickly.
Yes there are different levels of emet and I think that anyone that is plagued by the worry of v***** and it somehoe effects them in their day to day lives can be labeled as an emet.
I am glad to here that your daughter is feeling better.
PS. My son hit the key board when Iwas typing the PM so excuse the errors. LOL he is 21 months and already thinks he knows how to run the computer.

[wing]

Hello! I hope your daughter feels better! Sorry to hear about that though. Yea, everyone has different behaviors that go along with emetophobia because we're all different too. [Sorry i cant type much now, my homework will kill me one day..]

[helsbels]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, but you're braver than me, I'm scared to even think about having kids because of emet. I think I will try and get over that though because I do want them one day, I just hope that they are s* as babies so that I can get used to it while it's still relatively 'harmless'. The situation you describe though is the one that terrifies me to the point where I could possibly prevent me from ever having children [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[dravis]

Morning all... Just checking in to say that our daughter is back at
school today and the rest of us made it through the night without
coming down with the illness! I got a great nights sleep thanks
in part to another Red Sox victory and a lot of prayer before
bedtime. It's still going to be a long week for me knowing that
those bugs can take a while to show themselves but each day that passes
gives me more hope that this was an isolated incident and it isn't
going to go through our whole family. Thanks again for your help.



helsbels: The key is to make sure your significant other
understands your fear and is willing to take care of the kids whenever
they bring something home from school. Please don't let this fear
play a part in your decision to have children. Children are a
true blessing, something that everyone should experience.

[donna1216]

Hi there, dravis!! I am the mother of 2+ children, 2 Halloweens ago, my daughter (8 mos. old at the time) got rotavirus and 2 days later my 2 year old caught it, and they were sick (V***ing off and on) all winter until Easter--and I never caught it!! (Neither did my husband, and he is not an emet, and never washed his hands after coming in contact with the throw up!) My children caught the bug from an adult, so I knew that it was entirely possible that one of us could catch it. I was just very anal about washing my hands, praying, and using antibacterial gel!! I also keep telling myself that my mother raised 4 children and never caught anything from us!!!

[kellybean]

Hey Dravis,


Sorry to hear that you are worrying, I can just imagine how you feel. Just make sure you keep your hands very clean, and you should be fine. Tyr not to worry about it so much either, but I know how hard that is, I'd be flipping my lid if I was in your situation. Good job on being so stong, and GO RED SOX!!!!


Kelly

[helsbels]

Dravis, I am pleased that your daughter is well again and that you all had a restful night. Thanks for your supportive comments regarding children, I think it is something that I will do in the future - I just feel nervous about being a parent, but that extends beyond the emet and I am sure is perfectly natural. I am sure I will get used to them being s* as babies and then gradually learn to deal with it.

[emmab]

Hey Dravis I totally sympathise with you. My friend was sick last night and I had only had contact with her for about ten minutes but I have been worried all week that I would catch it.
I have an exam tomorrow and people always seem to have bugs when there are things that I need to do! Sick free so far though.
Try to relax - I know it is hard

[party_boi3423]

hi dravis!


My name is chris. Im 14 years old and I too am a christian person. Ive had emet for 7/8 years and, as a teenager, ive always found emet really hard to cope with, especially around friends. I've always gone to church and I always have believed in God although I really only got into my christian faith properly about a year and a half ago. I just figured, there has got to be more to life than worrying about vomit and I suddenly realised the support id been missing for the past 6 years. I pray consistently and still today (even though my emet isnt as bad) and God has really helped me. Trust me, there was a time when i thought my emet was getting worse but it does get better and you can enjoy life more. I especially like the bible verse in my quote (Isiah 41:10) and another one I like is Matthew 6:25-34. For your faith, i suggest that you pray whenever you can. Emetophobia has been the worst thing that has ever happened in my life but ive realised the fear is bigger than me, but God is bigger than the fear. Jesus wouldnt give us the freedom today if he didnt want us to enjoy it. I will pray for you, especially at the moment, with your daughter. If you want to to talk, my MSN/Email address is [email protected]


With your daughter, if she is still ill, I suggest that she eats ice lollies. They are great if you are post-v* and they are substitute for food and they are good for preventing dehydration! I do hope everything works out for you.


Best Wishes, ChrisEdited by: party_boi3423

[sage]

hi dravis,


i hope that you found the information on the "treatments" thread about emet that you can print out and give to family members (or professionals).


Your wife needs to understand that there are degrees of everything...and anxiety disorders are no exception. not everyone with emetophobia has extreme behavior. what matters is if you feel anxiety when you think about vomiting, or seeing someone vomit. if you do, then you have emetophobia. this is different from "no one likes it". No one likes being in a plane crash, either....but not everyone is afraid to fly because of that.


There is good treatment available out there - remember that you dont' need to suffer like this all your life.


And YAY Redsoxs! My mum's whole family is in Boston, and my aunt sadie followed the sox for like 75 years...she died last year at age 98...poor aunt sadie - never lived to see this day!


Blessings.

[e-lizabeth]

if there's any justice in this world or the next, your Aunt Sadie had front row seats in heavenfor that Red Sox game!!!! (i'm not particularly religious at all, i just find comfort in these kinds of thoughts)

[leese]

Hey Dravis!


I just wanted to welcome you aboard! I am also married and have been dealing with emet for 27 years. My husband thinks alot like your wife. The fact is you can get therapywith a phychologist, this disorder has so many different levels, I am actually an extreme case, and I have found therapy has helped alot!!!

[dravis]

Hey all. It's Saturday afternoon and it's been 4.5 days since my daughter got sick (but who's counting?!?!) Anyway so far so good. My wife, son and I haven't come down with it. I had a couple of tough days through the week where my stomach really didn't feel well whichcould have been my body fighting it off, or it could have been from my anxiety over the whole situation... I never really know which. I did have a little bout with the runs one night which scared the crap out of me (sorry couldn't help it) because that's how our daughters started but it was just a couple times and then I was fine.


Today, our son (23 months) just had a diaper full of very close to diarrhea so I'm right back to freaking out again. He's down for a nap now so I'm praying that he doesn't come down with it. Tonight is trick or treating so it would be a real shame.


Anyway thanks again for all your kind words. Reading through these posts really helps calm me down. If we can just get through a few more days here I'll feel so much better. Usually my fear dissipates completely about a week after first contact. Have a great weekend everyone!


Edited by: dravis

[Melikasa]

My son had the same thing. I have noticed that sometimes that is all he gets and other times it is just from something different he has eaten. I am sure that things will be ok. They are still just developing their immune system at this point and thing that won't bother us at all might get to them. Don't forget that this CAN bea good thing as well. kids that get more colds tend to have a better immune system when they are older. Our pediatrician and even a medican magazone I read said it is better to have a dusty house and to not coddle them and be overly protective when it comes to colds.
Anyways keep positive I am sure things will be fine

[dravis]

So it's been two and a half weeks since our daughter got sick so the
rest of us are in the clear right??? Wrong... I swear my family
is jinxed. Collectively the four of us get sick more often in a
years time than any other family I know of. So last night the
kids are in bed and my wife and I are watching CSI. Well, I'm
watching, my wife is sleeping. Anyway she gets up and heads to
bed and what she finds is horrific.



******WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING******



Our son, who turns 2 in a week, is laying in his bed, covered in
v*. She screams for me to come up to help. I don't know for
what yet, but I'm conditioned to fear the worst in such situations and
when I saw the mess, I freaked. He's covered, the bed is covered,
his sheets, his blankets, his teddy bear. My wife says she has to
get him in the tub to wash him off and asks me to strip his bed and
rinse everything off! Now don't get me wrong, I'm no slacker
around the house, and I help my wife when she needs me, but she asked
me to to strip a bed covered in v* and rinse it out?!?! I
instantly started shaking and tears were involuntarily streaming down
my face. She saw that I was freaking out and told me I had to get
a grip because she needed my help. I think from that point on I
was running on instincts because I could see myself doing everything
but it's almost like I detached from myself. I don't know how to
explain it, it's like I was there but my mind was somewhere else.



So I stripped the bed, our son was standing over the toilet v*ing
before he even got in the tub. I rinsed everything out while my
wife washed him up. It was disgusting. I'll spare you the
details but he had corn with his dinner... I threw everything in
the wash and then sat up with them for a while on the couch. I
even held my son on the couch for a while (and I'm terrified of his
germs). He v*ed dozens of times through the night. Thank
God for my wife. I had to get some sleep for work today.
She just called me to say he v*ed again, he went 4 hours this time so
it's slowing down at least.



Overall I'm pretty proud of myself. When I look back on last
night I don't know how I was able to do all that. I just knew
that as a father and husband I had to help. It wasn't an
option. So I sucked it up and did it. But now the fear
kicks in. Now I start to worry about my wife and myself and even
my daughter catching it (even though she just had it a couple weeks
ago.) The holidays are coming up and we're so busy. I just
want my family to be healthy! Is that too much to ask?!?
I'm so frustrated. I felt so bad for him last night, he was white
as a ghost, his eyes were sunk in, he was like a zombie and he's so
thirsty but he can't hold anything down.



Well, I hope this lovely flu season is treating the rest of you better than
it is us. Is it spring yet?? Thanks for listening to me
vent.


Edited by: dravis

[alliecat]

OMG, that's horrible! You handled it very well though, you should be proud! I swear, when I become a parent, I'm going to have disposable latex gloves to wear in those situations! lol.


I hope your son gets bettter soon. Try not to worry too much. You can get through this!


xoxo


Allie

[nick8]

Just wanted to say~Good Job!! It is very tough when your little ones are sick and very tough cleaning up the mess but it sounds like you did really well!! Try not to worry to much about getting sick, sometimes the bugs that our children get we don't get. Our bodies some how fight them off better, so sometimes we don't get sick at all and sometimes we get fewer and less severe symptoms. And yes, we hope for spring to get here soon also!!

[babygap5]

Hang in there Dravis. It sounds like you got over your fear enough to help your baby and that is a huge accomplishment. I to have been suffering from emet for the last 20 years and was so glad that this site exists, it's been a help, understanding other people's experiences and stuff. The thing that i've realized about myself, i have good days and bad days. I actually have days where I don't give it another thought, than, days like today, i can't seem to focus on anything else. It's amazing how logic doesn't win out over this phobia. As for your wife not understanding this fear, cut her a little slack. It's hard for people who've never experienced anything like this before to be compassionate and understanding. I just told my boyfriend of 6 1/2 years that i have emet. His reaction was pretty good, he always new i had this fear, i just never let him know just how bad it was till recently.


Keep praying and just remember, God wouldn't give us something that we can't handle.

[felicia]

Hi Dravis,


You did GREAT! I remember when my son was sick all over the bed, his dad put the comforter and his PJ's in a trash bag and asked me to wash them. ME, yeah right. Needless to say i through them away. Even if they had been clean every time I saw them the memory of the incident would definately haunt me. **GRAPHIC** you got lucky with the corn, my son had eaten chopped up weiners YUCK![img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[dravis]

Thanks all for your kind words but I'm afraid things haven't gotten any
better. In fact it's pretty safe to say I just lived through the
worst weekend EVER!



So our son was sick on Thursday night into Friday and even though I
helped my wife Thursday night with him, I still went to work on Friday
but I ended up leaving early to help at home. My wife had been up
literally all night with him and by late afternoon on Friday she was
spent and he was still sick. He saved his best projectile v* for
just after I got home but thankfully that was the end of his
v*ing. We were all able to get a decent night sleep Friday night
and our son seemed to be feeling much better on Saturday.



Saturday night we went to my in laws for a late birthday dinner for
myself (my b-day was on the 6th). We weren't 100% sure if we
should go because our son was still rather sluggish throughout the day
but he got a good nap in and seemed happy when he woke up. We had
a great time at dinner but soon after I got a splitting headache and a
couple episodes with the runs. Needless to say I went into
"terrified let's get home ASAP" mode. I laid down when we got
home and went to bed early thinking the worst would happen in the
middle of the night.



Well the worst did happen, just not as I expected it. At about
1:30 AM our daughter comes into our room saying her stomach
hurts. Keep in mind this whole thread started with her just two
and a half weeks ago so my wife and I are thinking, "no way, she just
ate too much" so we send her back to bed. I couldn't get back to
sleep after that because I was freaked and sure enough, half an hour
later, I hear her v*ing in the bathroom! She was sick again!!!
Just two and a half weeks after having the same thing! What's up
with that?!?!



Anyway my wonderful over tired wife went out to help her and spent the
rest of the night in her room so our son and I could sleep. At
about 8 the next morning, my wife peeks her head in and says "I need
you to get up, we need your help, I'm sick too." I rubbed my eyes
and looked at her in disbelief. I was hoping I was still sleeping
and that I was hearing things. I said, "wait, you're sick too?"
and she said "yes."



I was in hell. My son was just recovering, my daughter had just
had it, and now my daughter had it again and my wife? At least it
was Sunday so I didn't have to take a day off from work. I got
up, I got on my knees and I prayed my heart out. I knew there was
no way I was going to get through that day on my own power. I got
our son up, went down stairs and proceeded to crawl my way through one
of the longest days of my life.



Just about the first thing to happen to me when I got downstairs was I
picked my son up the wrong way and I heard my lower back pop. So
on top of everything I had to deal with, I had incredible back pain all
day. I made two store runs for ginger ale and various items of
need. I made toast, I poured drinks, got ice chips, cold face
cloths, changed out v* filled trash buckets, changed diapers, fed the
baby etc. Finally I got our son to bed at about 7:30 PM and I
came downstairs and said "OK, I made it, if I'm going to get sick, I
can get sick now." Our son was in bed and I knew my wife would be
OK the next day. Understandably I hadn't felt well all day and
figured this thing is so contagious it's only a matter of time.



The family went to bed; I watched my New England Patriots with a small
glass of wine to relax and then went off to bed, once again fearing I
was next. Well... here I am, at work Monday morning, miraculously
still healthy *knock on wood*. I don't feel the best and I know
it's going to be a long few days assuming I'm going to come down with
it at any moment. But after seeing my daughter and son get
through it, I know that if the time comes I too

[2jo2]

OMG..... that is just awful. I cannot even imagine. You did so well, taking care of your son, emptying buckets and everything. WOW. You should really be proud of yourself for being able to do that.


Please let us know how things are going, coming on here to let out feelings really does help.


Thinking of you......

[helsbels]

You are so brave... I've followed your recent events and I can't believe you've gone through all of that in the space of a few weeks. I know you probably are going to worry, and there's not much anyone can say to help you with that, but if you can try not to worry today it will probably help you to feel a bit better. Just because everyone else in your familyhas been ill, it doesn't mean that you will automatically catch it. Not everybody does, try to think positive if you can. I don't ever catch sv from others, I think us emets have a much higher tolerance to illness. Take care of yourselves...

[kellybean]

Oh my, that is a complete NIGHTMARE. I don't know how you are getting through this, but GOOD JOB. I envy how you are so brave!I would have been gone a long time ago. Anyway, I hope for your sake you don't get it, you seem like a healthy man since you've dodged itfor this long. Try not to worry and dwell on it andyou probably won't get it!!


Kelly

[sage]

I remember those days. One time, not only my whole family got "it", but the rest of the neighbours too! Miraculously, I DIDN'T get it. I also remember "helping" my husband with the sick kids in a dissociative state. One time I had to bath a CAT in the middle of the night (that was fun).


All I can say is there is light at the end of the tunnel. The more you can soothe yourself with rational thoughts (like it's all part of life...they were ok...nobody died...it's really just a normal thing for everyone...etc.) rather than catastrophic thoughts about how horrible and terrible it was - the better. It will help your phobia, and everything else.


Good luck!