Last week, I suffered from a 24 hr stomach bug,
which seems to be going around. I got sick multiple
times before finally being able to rest, and wasn't able
to eat again till a few days later.

Last night, I managed to trick my mind into thinking
that I was going to get sick some more. I had multiple
panic attacks, with my entire body shaking
uncontrollably, hot and cold flashes, tears. I got as
close as sticking my head into the toilet with no
outcome. No vomit came, because I didn't really need
to vomit, but the feeling I was able to induce through
my thoughts was so real and so close to being sick
that I could have sworn it was legitimiate.

I felt very scared and very alone last night. I wanted
someone there in the room with me if I was to get sick
again, but I knew that I couldn't let anyone see me in
the state I was in, panicking, crying, so afraid of
throwing up. I wanted help and I didn't want help.

I just wanted to feel that there are others who know
what I'm dealing with. And sometimes I just need to
know that I'm okay, that I'm not going to throw up,
and if I do, it's not the worst thing in the world.