Where else to I go from here?

[miche10]

I am a new member, but have visited site several times. It makes me feel better to not feel so alone. It's hard to describe to others what the fear is like. I have been in and out of therapy and on meds for 15 yrs now. I think over the years I have made some (little) progress, but every time it happens I revert to old patterns of panic and avoidance. I know it is a normal part of life, but sometimes I've thought I'd rather be dead than to have to go through it again. However, then I'd miss the rest of the good stuff. Lately though my fear has hit me hard. I don't want to leave home, go to work, or even shop! I have been living off of crackers, bread, water, and tea. Already lost 3lbs in 5 days! What makes is harder is that I have 3 little children to care for. So I have to try to hide my anxiety in front of them whick adds more stress, not to mention if they get sick! I just want to be "normal" and handle it like it's no big deal. Why can't I?

[tjp]

Hi there,
This is my first time posting and it's such a relief to know I'm not alone! I have suffered with this all my life. I too am a mom with 2 young kids- my daughter just had stomach flu 2 days ago, so I'm just doing like you are- living on the whole bread and water diet just "waiting" for it to hit me. I've cleaned up and washed my hands a million times, but I just can't get past it....I too have thought "I'd rather be dead". I only get sick every few years but I think I spend the rest of the time (on and off- I do have good moments) wondering when the next time will be. It always seems way worse at night- that's when the real panic sets in- the shaking, feeling like I need to escape- it's terrible!

The only thing I have just started to look into ---is called tapping therapy- it's like accupressure where you tap certain points while talking about your fear, and then talking positive-It sounds a little "different" but I'm willing to try anything! So far I've only done it a couple times, but it's already helping me to be more relaxed. So check out www.thetappingsolution.com or google tapping therapy and hopefully it can help you!

Best of luck