Newbie here! Just wanted to tell my story

[Channy]

Newbie here! I posted some of this in the poll section about how long it's been, but I've added more details in here.
It's been about 16 years for me. We were going to South Carolina for a wedding. We drove something like 14 hours with an overnight stop. The night before we left my mom had taken the sheets off my bed to wash them and I was tired so I still layed down on my bed. She woke me up to put the sheets back on and when I stood up, the n* hit me. I remember my sister was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when I ran in. She ran out without turning the water off. I will never forget for some reason I was concerned that the water was on so I hobbled over on my knees and turned it off before v*. I took a friend with me on our trip and she spent the night that night. My sister was going on a school trip to Mexico the next morning so it wasn't like I could stay home while my parents went to SC. I rode in the car for 14 hours feeling like hell. I didn't v* anymore but I had stomach cramps and d*.
Since then I've made it through contracting salmonella without v*. I never felt like I was going to though. Apparently it's common to only have d* with salmonella. I also made it through a pregnancy too! I never knew v* during labor was common until I was pregnant and already through the morning sickness stage. Then the rest of my pregnancy I didn't worry about labor pains. I worried about v* during labor! I asked every woman I knew that ever had a child. Out of about 15, only one said she v*. Once I was in labor though, I was in so much pain, it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had. Don't get me wrong, every drug they put in my IV, I always asked if it would make me n* or v*. Lol and I ended up having a c section and the anesthesiologist probably thought I was nuts because I asked if I might v*. He said "it's pretty common". I asked for an anti-nausea med but he said I could have it if I felt n*. I never did! Even when I was in the recovery room afterwards, I heard him say to a nurse "hmm she didn't get sick. That's unusual" I was like damn right! Lol although I have to say I did miss a lot of my sons birth because I was focused on not v*.
I don't know what triggered my fear. I can remember an instance in 5th grade where someone got sick and they cleared out the whole classroom while they cleaned it. Also my previously mentioned trip to SC. I was worried the whole time I was going to v* and wouldn't be able to tell my dad in time for him to pull over.
I suffer from panic attacks and IBS which obviously are linked. Pretty much my only trigger is my fear of v*. Really it's the fear of being exposed to germs that are going to make me v*. I did have a panic attack on a subway once but have never been able to figure out why
seeing v* on tv doesn't panic me. Of course it's gross and I turn my head but I know I can't catch it, so I'm ok. Same thing with my son. He's a spitter and has some mild reflux so I clean him up several times a day. That doesn't bother me either because I know I'm not going to get it. When I was pregnant my husband came home sick from work. I slept on the couch and lysoled and bleached everything. I went around asking him what he touched when he came home. My house has never been cleaner. Also he had his wisdom teeth out a few months ago. I was supposed to take him to the appointment but I cancelled at the last minute and had his mom take him. I knew he would probably v*, which he did. It wasn't something contagious so I'm not sure why I avoided it. This was not long after I had my son and had pretty bad anxiety, before I went back on zoloft. Maybe because I wasn't familiar with the dr office. I don't know.
There is a bug going around my town. Seems like all my friends facebook statuses say something about their kids being sick. I'm a stay at home mom so luckily I don't have to leave my house much.
Sorry I'm totally rambling but it feels so good to vent to people who understand my phobia. Thanks for reading. Feel a lot better now.

[amie.essex]

Just want to say hello and welcome

You sound very similar to me in that ''Really its the fear of being exposed to germs that are going to make me v*'' that really makes my anxiety and OCD severe. I'm a mum of two (aged 6 and 2) and my emet got a lot worse after becoming a parent then worse again since my eldest started school.

I'm in the process of seeking help - have you tried anything (meds or therapy) that has helped?? I'm desperate not to have to live the rest of my life like this and to stop it affecting my family xx

[bjeanfritz]

Welcome to the board! I'm pretty new too (early Sunday AM), but in just the past few days, I have met some kindred spirits on here for sure! Everyone is very nice and supportive, and it's so helpful to know we are not alone in our fears. We can talk to our family and friends until we are blue in the face, but only another emet truly understands what the terror is like!

[olschesky]

my first day here also....feeling alot more relaxed being able to read and write about people who understand what i live with on a daily basis....thanks for sharing

[Channy]

The other fear I have is that since it's been so long since I've v*, I'm afraid I'm going to forget what it feels like right before and I'll be caught off guard, and I'll do it in front of other people or I won't make it to the toilet etc.

[PinkButterfly]

The other fear I have is that since it's been so long since I've v*, I'm afraid I'm going to forget what it feels like right before and I'll be caught off guard, and I'll do it in front of other people or I won't make it to the toilet etc.

That is truly the largest problem I have with the entire fear. I know that the last time I did get sick, about 5 years ago.. I had no idea what the feeling was before it happened. I V* on the floor and just laid there on the couch and called for my mom. Luckily I was at home. I was still in highschool, but I was around 17, and very well old enough to get up and clean it up and should have ran to the bathroom. I just freeze up and cry and I feel like I can't move.

To this day. I still feel the same like I have no idea what to expect as I forgot the feeling and that I won't know its coming, and constantly fear that it will happen in class or work. Thats where my panic attacks come in and I will need to immediately go outside, so that if it was going to happen I would be away from people and in the grass or something.

More recently I noticed that I would get really high anxiety sitting in a restaurant, AFTER we ate, and were waiting on the bill, if it takes to long I get really antzy and I really feel the need to leave as if I am going to be sick.. I have no clue as to why this happens to me

[lemonchar]

The other fear I have is that since it's been so long since I've v*, I'm afraid I'm going to forget what it feels like right before and I'll be caught off guard, and I'll do it in front of other people or I won't make it to the toilet etc.

Me too! At the same time I resent people who vomit in public for not being adults about it, I'm so worried that I'll either not recognize the signs or be in denial about the signs and will v* in an inappropriate place. Don't know what to do about it.

[what_the_frick]

Welcome!

There also appears to be an sv* going around where I live, too. My family and I caught one late December, and I am hoping it's just making the rounds again, and not a NEW virus. Both my sons are in daycare, and one is in 1st grade, so they are constantly exposed.

And to help assuage fears, I will be honest and tell you that I KNEW every single time when I thought I would v*. I've never been just minding my own biz and then WHAM! I think those instances are rare and few & far between. The n* came and stayed, getting progressively worse.

[Channy]

I know this sounds absolutely crazy but I hope when it does happen, my husband brings something home and I get it before I know what's coming. I almost think when I do v* it will almost bring a sense of peace to me. If that makes sense??

[olschesky]

it does make sense channy......i felt the same way.....but after it did happen.....the fear remained.....i made it through the sick and thought......finally i am free.......but no such luck for me. it seems the older i get the worse it gets.....this site is helping me though......