A Story About Throw Up from A Teenager.
It wasn't until I was about 12 years old that vomit made me uncomfortable. I wouldn't go near any one who had recently thrown up and I would have to cover my eyes when people got sick in movies (I have become very good at predicting those situations now, thank you very much!) But that was the extent of my fear. Then, around a year ago, when I was 14, I got up for school with an insanely bad stomach ache. I have barley thrown up in my life (the last time before this was sometime when I was 8 and I don't remember it much) so I didn't know that it was coming. I slugged around the house barley moving because of my stomach ache but I still had to go to school. At the bus stop, though, it got much worse. My vision went out and my mouth started watering to the point where it felt like it was being sucked in. And then I vomited all over the snow. My first thought was, that wasn't so bad, not nearly as bad as I though it would be. But I went home as slept for the rest of the day, scared to move to much and turn over in my bed incase it happened again. The next couple of days I didn't eat and I was completely fine after that.
Until the week later.
I woke up feeling fine. I went to school and was fine. But in 4th hour my stomach started to hurt really badly. It continued to hurt but for some reason I ate lunch anyways and my stomach ache went on.
In 5th hour I started to heat up an incredible amount and had to take off a lot of clothing. By then I new something was up so I opted out of my swim practice that day but decided to still go to my friend’s house and sleep over.
I got there and had some more hot flashes, but like a dumbass, I ate diner. Imediatly after diner my mouth started to water. I decided to ignore it but sat down all the same. Eventually it got so bad that I would go sit in the bathroom for periods of time, but after nothing happening I came out and continued to hang out.
The mouth watering got really bad though, and I asked to be taken home. While I was in their kitchen putting on my shoes my visions left, I got extremely shaky, I couldn't talk, and my mouth poured buckets.
About two hours after eating, I puked it all into a bucket and felt better. But the experience was still extremely terrible and apparently scarring to me.
I am pretty sure my emetophobis has started because of this experience. Ever since then I have had anxiety problems where I am convinced that I am going to throw up. My problems started out with extreme panic attacks (the first one we called an ambulance because I didn't know what was happening) Soon, my panic attacks became less fierce but more frequent. There would be nothing wrong with me but I would still freak out and go to bed early. This has gotten in the way of my homework, because sometimes I wouldn't do it because all I could concentrate on was not puking. It’s kept me up at night because it’s hard to sleep with anxiety. And I'm pretty sure I have consumed three boxes of Pepto Bismol in the last 10 months.
None of my friends seem to understand what a problem this is to me and my family sort of ignores it because I get scared so often.
I used to think of things I would like to do, now I think of how terrible vomiting is.
I used to think about my day, now I think of that day last February at my friend’s house.
This has taken over my life pretty much. All I an think about is how bad it feels when your mouth waters like that.
This situation has gotten slightly better since the incident but not much.
Can anyone help me? Does anyone know how I can fix it?
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