I'm new here...

[Truli]

Hi. My name is Juli and I'm 18 years old. I've had this particular phobia since.. well.. as far back as I can remember. Whenever someone even mentions... anything having to do with this phobia, I hyperventilate and cry, and, really, nothing can console me, and I just have to wait it out.

Of course, I grew up in a family of people with weak stomachs. I live with 15 of these family members, share a bed with my mom... etc. So, if someone's sick... I am immediately exposed to it, and, consequently, cry. My uncle especially likes to make gagging noises whenever I enter the room, causing me to flee and hide until he leaves for work, etc.

I have a very nervous tummy. It hurts when I'm scared or upset or whenever it feels like hurting me. I'll go days without eating because I'm afraid of getting sick when I do. I get so paranoid every time I feel a little twinge, and, really, my entire life revolves around my stomach and the availability of bathrooms.

I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 18 months now. When my family got kicked out of our house we moved a few counties away, so that the only way I can see him on his terms is to spend the night at his house. He has 3 older brothers that still live at home, and someone is constantly occupying the bathroom. I don't go over there much, and consequently have a rocky relationship with his mom.

You see, my fear is of me being sick, others being sick, even the sound on a cartoon is enough to push me over the edge.

I couldn't go to college because of monetary issues, but I don't think I could have lived in a dorm with students who party too hard and... become sick.

I'm so ashamed of my fear. No one in my family/none of my friends understand it. I'm made fun of about it, mostly, or talked down to. I understand that they're frustrated with me having these breakdowns but there's nothing that I can do about it... I'm helpless. Really, nothing helps me.

I just rub my tummy, take an antacid, and beg God to keep me safe. ... and I'm not religious...

I'm sorry that was so long, but... I've never talked about it before.

Thank you for listening.. It means a lot.
I don't know what to do in the community.. but.. I can, at the very least, sympathize.

[olschesky]

welcome to the site.....hopefully you will find some comfort here. i'm alot like you as far as the phobia goes....dont like to hear, see, talk, know about it. ive kept mine secret my whole life because i was embarassed and afraid people would make fun of me.

coming to this site gave me the courage to tell my mom and sisters......which helped explain some of my weird behaviour as a kid (im 58) now, i've also told my husband. they know not to bring it up....if i need to talk about it i will start the conversation.

but i have felt much better after reading all the stories in here and sharing mine.......i swear i'm not nearly as anxious as i was a month ago......

keep on posting.....you will get lots of good tips on how to cope and there's usually someone here all the time to "chat"' with you....

hope things get better for you.......be calm.....breathe

[mj0722]

I agree! I am new here... Same story, 25yrs old, have suffered on and off, and now my fear is jeopardizing my job! I continually lose weight... Hope to chat soon.

[swhelan]

I'm brand new, too I'm hoping this site will give everyone with this problem some comfort. Hope we can talk soon!

[Bellablue]

Hi everyone! I am brand new and just found this site this morning. It is my 42nd birthday today, and I have been suffering with this phobia for as long as I can remember. I can't tell you what finding this place means to me. I feel much less alone and much less like a "freak" knowing that there are so many other people who live with this too. I decided this morning that I wanted to start doing something about this as it takes up and takes away huge parts of life that I could be experiencing. Thank you for being here.

Bella