I think I may have started family fued

[kellybeth]

I'll try to keep this short just in case anyone wants to read it.

All in all my Dad is effed up. He was married to a woman, then divorced, then married my Mom and had 2 kids. Then shortly after I was born he went and had an affair with his first wife. My Mom took him back. When I was 12 Mom had an affair with my best friends Dad, who was also our neighobor and married. This cased my Parents to divorce. Then Dad had a fling with a coworker witch lead to a child. While the coworker was pregnent my Dad met his current wife. Dad wanted this whole baby thing to be kept a giant secret. No one was supposto know. Untill one day when my Dad was served with child support papers and the papers were sent to my house and Mom opened the mail. Mom asked him about it and he said the whole thing was a mistake and he feels this woman trapped him. Whatever. Anyone still with me??? So the whole family was to never ever speak of this. Just act like it didn't happen. Dad then had 2 more kids with his current wife. That was his new family and the only one that mattered or counted. When his kids were still small they moved away. I think they moved to get away from my brother and I and the "mistake".

Ok. You still there? Good. Fast forward 18 years. I found out my half brothers address and mailed him a letter after his 18th birthday. I just wanted to tell him that he had brothers and sisters out there. Told him I would like to talk to him and if he wanted to email or call me that would be great, but if not I would not contact him again as I didn't want to mess up his life with all this craziness. So he did contact me and we met one time. I have emailed and facebooked him for the past year or two. Not alot but enough that I think we both are comfortable with. Now, I havn't told me Dad that I contacted him and that we met. In my Dads eyes this boy is nothing more then a monthly check he has to write.

Sooooo. Yesterday I saw my half sister on facebook and was talking to her and she brought up how clueless my Dad is about everything and how there are all these family secerts. Hmm... did she know about his "mistake"..... So I ask her what she means and she says she knows there are 5 kids but she can only count 4. I thought well holy shit she DOES know. I thought that if anyone in the family mentioned this boy we would have our toungs cut out. So I jump ahead and tell her that I have met him. And how pissed my Dad would be if he knew as I would be stirring up old issues. She said she could'nt belive what I was saying as her Mom told HER and her brother that there was another baby but he was STILLBORN!!!!! What the fuck???? Are you kidding me??? His wife killed off the mistake!!

Now I know she will say something to my Dad about this. And my Dad and his wife are going to be furious with me for spilling the beans about his past. I have very little contact with my Dad as it is now. I have a feeling this will end it all together. The way she was talking I thought she knew allready. I started something big I know I have..

This calls for a big MY BAD.

Should I feel bad that I may be the start of my dads divorce?? Or should I feel like his it his stupid fault for lying. What an asshole. Really? Stillborn?? That is rotten, plain and simple.

[olschesky]

sounds like your father is great at making alot of mistakes.......you are grown now and should be able to talk about your childhood to whomever you like.

i wouldn't be too concerned whether you pissed him off or not........i think it's great that you want to have contact with your sibling......you do what makes you feel best.......he's the one that made the mistake...not you....and it's not up to you to ignore it if you don't want to........

don't worry about it......

[IceMaiden]

Yeh, you have a right to contact your siblings! Who's he to tell you which family you can and can't speak to, how selfish of him! Let him stew in his own mistakes.

[elizam]

I agree, Kelly. You're an adult, your brother is an adult. Nobody else should have any say in whether or not the two of you meet or have a friendly relationship. You're siblings.

Your dad can't run from his mistakes forever. Sooner or later lies and deceptions will come back to bite you in the ass. That's just the way the universe works.