Worse with age?

[thejazzcat]

I have found that, as I get older, all of my fears and phobias are getting worse. Why is this??


I'm 29 BTW. I was really looking forward to my 30s with this bizarre notion that I would be so wise and would be able to put things into perspective etc. but no. I am just getting worse and worse and worse! It's not fair!





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[pippi]

My anxiety started when I was 29....I always avoided people who were sick but now the fear controls me. It gets worse for me around my period. I wonder if its hormonal driven or something.

[bethany]

hormonal, that's a good point

yes, when i was a little girl (this is funny) i used to pray, Lord, don't let me throw up until i'm like thirteen and mature enough to handle it" lol

well i'm twenty now and still petrified [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
it is frustrating

[harmonygirl72]

I used to do the same thing, Bethany! Exact same! (Maybe I said 12, but that is soooo weird!) I am almost 32 now and still not mature enough to handle it!


Mary

[wing]

Hmm..In some ways it grows worse as i get older but the only thing that has gotten better was that i dont miss school that much anymore.


Mary, Bethany, Wow i STILL do askthe Lordthat lol. Every night since i was 8. From then til now that'salmost half my lifetime lol.

[sage]

Some people get "better" as they age, because they experience so many "gastrointestinal symptoms" over and over and they don't vomit, so they sort of "get it" that what they thought was nausea which would lead to vomiting really isn't.


But for the most part, the general rule about phobias is: the more you avoid, the worse the phobia gets. Phobias and other anxiety disorders don't just go away. Every time you avoid germs, sick people in any form, foods that make you sick, etc. etc. you will get WORSE. Avoidance is the culprit in making phobias worse. One has to gradually approach the feared thing, not go in the other direction. The natural human thing to do when one is afraid is to avoid the stimulus. But the farther one gets from it, the "better" one feels (temporarily). So you go farther. And farther. Pretty soon, it's like heroin...you need a whole bunch of it just to feel normal and you dont' even get high anymore. The cure is not MORE heroin, it's less. The cure for phobia is not MORE avoidance. It's less.


Of course, I always recommend you get some professional help in this "journey toward the feared thing". It is scary. I know cuz I've been there.


Even now, as cured as I am...some days I go into the hospital and I'm standing in someone's room (like a couple of weeks ago, when our hospital had an outbreak of Norwalk) and I start to get a bit anxious. You know what I do? I march right home, and put on the scariest vomit videos I own and watch them again and again until I feel ABSOLUTELY NO FEAR. Then I go to my therapist, and talk about it and TRY TO IMAGINE getting Norwald, vomiting myself, etc. etc. and by the next week I'm back at the hospital with zero anxiety again. BUT if I went the other way and say, avoided the hospital during Norwalk outbreaks, or stopped going into certain rooms, or whatever....I'd start to get the phobia back again. I know that. Avoidance is what CAUSES phobia. No matter what trauma, or genetic condition, or episode in your life you think caused your phobia, the real cause was avoidance of repeating the feared thing at all costs.


Anyway, my phobia started at about 3 years old (or even younger but I have no memory), got really bad in my teens and early twenties, then I got some treatment and it was better forabout 10 years, then it got REALLY BAD again. I never got it completely cured until I was in my early 40s! But I know now there's no need to wait that long! Honestly - your life doesn't HAVE TO BE hell! There is lots of hope...good treatment...excellent people out there!

[charzysbebe]

Well, before I started accepting v, which was this past week, my phobia had reached it's boiling point so to speak. 10 years ago, I had more rituals and more avoidance...but it seemed when I just hit 30, I just had more anxiety attacks with it, which I personally think is hormonal.


I guess you can say, my phobia got so bad that just this past week, I decided to just try to deal with v, and stop avoiding the things that I have avoided for many years. It feels weird, but it sure makes you feel better emotionally. I was mad at the phobia for ruining my life, and I'll be damned if I will let it ruin me anymore! Charlotte

[rcurran]

I wish that I could just do that. I have the option of doing it this weekend because my sister is home from college and she usually comes home drunk, and sometimes vomits. Usually when she comes home I get really anxious, and nervous all day, untill I come home at night, and then I can't sleep so I end up staying awake untill she comes home so I can see whether or not she is drunk, then if she is I go downstairs and sleep in the basement because I hate the noise,(we share a bedroom). I thought about not caring about it, but I know that it won't happen, I am still going to stay awake tonight and think about whether she will come home and vomit everywhere. I hate this phobia, I really do want to get over it, but I am mostly afraid of others doing it, it's mostly the sound that scares me. I don't know why. Argghh.

[charzysbebe]

[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]rcurran...I know exactly what you are going through. I hate hearing v also. Maybe you can just put on some headphones and go to sleep?


I know it is hard...but even if she does come home sick and drunk, maybe take a tiny step and stay upstairs and plug your ears if she gets sick? Turn on some music? A fan? That way you will feel like you have achieved something. Then next time, take another small step? Just an idea anyway.[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


If not, that is understandable too. I know how hard it is to have the fear take over. Either way, good luck, and let us know how it goes! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Charlotte

[sweetfreak]

Again, sage is so right! About a year ago, my emet got so bad that I was terrified to do just about anything. I was afraid to eat at all, afraid to leave the house, even just for a ride alone in my car. The reason my phobia got so bad was because there were a few times that I actually had real bloating and nausea outside of my house. That had never happened to me before. I felt sick in my car, sick at work, sick at school and so I naturally, because of my phobia, didn't want to be in those situations. Problem was, sitting at home not eating and not going anywhere didn't help. It only made things worse. So, on my own, I began gradually forcing myself to eat and expose myself to the outside world no matter how bad my panic was. And, the anxiety began to subside. Now, I am seeing a therapist, and while my emet is not cured completely yet, it is much better than it was. Edited by: sweetfreak