Hello.

I'm new to this forum but not new to emetophobia.

I had a traumatic incident in Chruch when I was about 8 or 9 years old. I got sick in Church and quickly developed emetophobia. I recall that very night being afraid if dinner would make me sick. These fears turned into anxiety, the anxiety turned into an anxiety disorder, and along with that came frustration and eventually depression. I had to spend a week in a mental hospital at age 13 because the depression and anxiety attacks became so strong that I started having suicidal thoughts. Eventually my therapist taught me great tools, but the biggest help was finding the right combinations of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. I cannot stress enough that sometimes our brains just don't produce the right amount of a certain chemical, and we have no choice but to supplement them with medications. If you fear taking medications for this disorder, please know that they can be necessary and very helpful.

As I got older, I remained on the medication and became very "stabilized". I continued behavioral therapy and medications, but most importantly, I continued living my life. I had a very happy high school and college experience. While the anxiety and depression still surfaced occasionally, I was very functional and happy. I even started "partying" in college and occasionally got sick from drinking, and while it did scare me, it was more or less under control.

I graduated college 3 years ago and have been working in an office since. Recently I have had a tough time. I had been partying too hard on the weekends, which was a great sign that my emetophobia was very under control, but recently I had a very bad hangover experience. I was crippled by anxiety for 2 to 3 days thinking that I was still hungover and would get sick after a Friday night of partying. As a result, I have been a social "hermit" for the past month, not going out for fear that I would over-drink and have a hangover/anxiety attacks the next day. Through therapy I have realized that I can't hide, and that I must socialize even in a drinking environment. I have to find my "limit" and know that I can drink "X" beers without having a hangover and anxiety the next day. The truth is that I enjoy being social with my friends, and I can't avoid the drinking scene just because I fear being sick.

This weekend I had to face a challenge in that my friend was having a bachelor party in Charleston. Two things made me very nervous: (1) the fact that I would be expected to partake in the drinking, (2) Charleston is far away from my current location of Atlanta (5 hours driving), which brings me out of my comfort zone. Everyone knows that during a panic attack, you want to be in your "safe zone" and alone. I would not have this luxury on this trip because I would be staying in one house with 17 other dudes. Through the urging of my therapist I went on the trip anyway and I believe it was more or less a success. The plan was to "practice" a few weekends before the trip by going out on a couple of occasions with my friends and drinking a little bit to get not only my tolerance back up, but my confidence. I have to be confident that I can only have a few beers without having an anxiety attack or a hangover the next day. Unfortunately, I couldn't "practice" before this trip because I was sick with a sinus infection. Anyway, this made me nervous that I would have to "practice" on the fly in Charleston. My therapist told me I had this working for me: I would have my car with me, so if I got panicky I could get in it for a while and be in a "safe zone". I would also have my anti-anxiety pills with me, along with the calming tricks I have practiced (breathing, counting, etc). I went on the trip and I only drank 3 beers Friday night, which means that I gave the appearance that I was participating in the fun with everyone else. The next morning I felt fine: no hangover or anxiety attack. I spent all day Saturday on the beach with friends and also had one or two beers with success.

On Saturday night, my friends planned on renting a limousine that would take them all around town for 5 or 6 hours. While I felt successful with my Friday night and Saturday day-time feats, I felt it was too soon to sit in a limousine for five hours drinking. I calmly packed up and explained that I had to be home for Easter, and the peer-pressure to stay was only minimal.

I hope that you find this story helpful. The moral of the story is that this phobia is powerful and can develop into something very strong if you sweep it under the rug. If this is impacting your daily life, go to a therapist and a psychiatrist for medication. These tools got me through high school and college. Although I had a mini-traumatic event a month ago with over-drinking and fear of being sick, I feel very normal on a day-to-day basis and my anxiety of drinking will subside once I "practice" and teach myself that you can drink a normal amount and have fun without getting sick. While I think it is a stretch to say that one can be fully "cured" of this phobia, I think it is very acceptable to say that you can "cope" with the phobia and live a very normal and happy life. Every living being has problems and something that they have to "cope" with, so we shouldn't feel burdened by this phobia. There will always be ups and downs along the way, but with the right tools you can set this phobia aside and live a normal life. No, I may never be able to get black-out drunk and wake up the next day without feeling anxiety, but I know I will be able to socialize and drink a normal amount with my friends and still feel calm the next morning. I don't fear eating strange food and I'm no longer a germaphobe. My only remaining fear is over-drinking and getting sick, but the way I see it, that is a good thing. My father was an alcoholic before I was born. Maybe God gave me this phobia to make me stronger as a person and, as I got older, to prevent me from enjoying over-drinking? I am 26 years old, soon to be 27. It is probably time to slow that stuff down anyway.