~Seasons Greetings!~

[NCsmile6]

Hey Everyone!!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


First of all, I want to wish everyone a Season's Greetings!!


It's been SOOOOO long....TOOOOOOO long!!!!! I have missed you guys loads!!!


**HUGS**


I know the last time I posted, I wasn't in a very good position. I had just been sick--v**** sick, (October 28th--yes I remember the date, but why wouldn't I [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]), and well like the great family you guys are, you allstood by me with support, love, help,and encouragement. I couldn't have asked for more support from anyone and I thank you guys for it once again! I will neverforget what you guys did for me that day and the flood of love and support which helped me get through a very tough time!


Since then I am doing a little better. (A lot of that credit goes to you guys.)Like I had said in that one post, being sick was a wake-up call to me. Kind of a "Take care of your body Neha! You can't keep pulling all-nighters and killing yourself just to finish papers and to make them 'perfect'! It's not worth it!"


So...I would like to think I have learned my lesson. I have since pulled a few late nights to make the grade, but I have been a lot more cautiousabout my health at the same time, taking better care of myself in whatever little ways I can. I sure as hell won't let myself slip again and have a wake-up call like that!!


I would like to say that having the stomach bug has been some emet-altering experience, but unfortunately, my fear seemed to return the very next day, in full form. I tried to tell myself that 'it' wasn't as bad as I had built it up to be and perhaps the anticipation and anxiety was the worst of it all. I tried to take the experience and make it so that it would better my emet, but it didn't seem to work out that way. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to change very much except that I now know that taking care of myself emotionally is just as important as taking care of myself physically. Although I think before the bug, I wasn't doing much of either...


So I did learn from that experience. I also learned that I was capable of doing 'it', andthat the world wouldn't end when and if'it' happened. It was justthat my world seemed to be ending.But it didn't. I'm still here. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]So perhaps I did learn more than I thought...[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Butthe disappointing part is,when I feel nauseaus, I still go into major panic mode, I still freak out and do all the weird, neurotic, nonsensicalpreventative behaviors I did before the bug (rituals, digging fingernails into skin, doing everything I can to help digestion,etc.) And when I panic, I totally forget aboutall that I had learned from the bugand all of the rationality goes straight out of my brain into who knows where!Maybe I was expecting too much out of the experience? Either way, when I panic, it's almost like Oct. 28th didn't happen.Does that ever happen to any of you who have been sick? Like your brush with the big v* doesn't seem to have any effect on your panic when you feel nauseaus? If that is so, thenemet is one stubborn **fill in the blank!** And panic just helps warp it I guess.


[b]Anyhow, you guys didn't want to hear all of that introspective junk...<IMG src="smileys/

[roxi27]

I have not been around for long...three short weeks, but thank you for
the holiday greeting. To answere your question....I too have had
a stomache flu in the past year. It sucked, but I lived through
it as well. Same as you. I thought it would somehow make me
stronger or less scared, but it didn't change a thing. I was sick
6 times in one night, and thought my world was ending. I hadn't
found this site yet, and spent the night alone...worrying. I woke
up hungery the next day, but my emet came back that afternoon.....and
hasn't left yet. Imagine how great it would be if we could all
just get sick once, and know it will never happen again. Like
chicken pox. Maybe one day they will have a vaccine for
it....LOL. But glad you are doing ok. You sound very level
headed about your phobias and life. Good for you!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Carrie

[NCsmile6]

I have not been around for long...three short weeks, but thank you for the holiday greeting. To answere your question....I too have had a stomache flu in the past year. It sucked, but I lived through it as well. Same as you. I thought it would somehow make me stronger or less scared, but it didn't change a thing. I was sick 6 times in one night, and thought my world was ending. I hadn't found this site yet, and spent the night alone...worrying. I woke up hungery the next day, but my emet came back that afternoon.....and hasn't left yet. Imagine how great it would be if we could all just get sick once, and know it will never happen again. Like chicken pox. Maybe one day they will have a vaccine for it....LOL. But glad you are doing ok. You sound very level headed about your phobias and life. Good for you!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Carrie

Hi Carrie!


Welcome to the family first of all, and


Thank you for replying so quickly!


I am sorry about your having to have experienced the stomach flu as well and not having gotten any benefit out of it!


Oh!! If v* was like the chicken pox...only happening once and then you never have to worry about it ever...my world would be a hell of a lot easier!!! Goodness!!! Imagine how many of us would flock to get that vaccine!! I think we should definetly work on getting that availiable! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]We'd win the emet Nobel Peace Prize! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Me?? Level headed?? WOW!! Thank you so much for saying that, but that's the exact opposite of what I am...or at least of how I feel!! Imust be having an off day! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Thank you for that though!! I don't think I've ever gotten level headed before!! Crazy yes...level headed, no!! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Anyway, it was good to meet you and thanks for the quick response!


Edited by: NCsmile6

[roxi27]

I have a hard time sleeping at night, so I spend a lot of late nights
on here. It's good when someone gives you something new to read
and experience. Thaknk-you. Carrie[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[NCsmile6]

I too am a member of Insomniacs Annonymous! It's cool to have a place like this to read and talk and roam as you wish at night! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]In case you haven't realized it already, which I am probably sure you have, everyone on here is super sweet and super supportive and the best people you could ever meet! Edited by: NCsmile6

[charzysbebe]

Count me in the insomniacs club...LOL!! I don't get to sleep before 3am most nights (mornings) and it really sucks.


As for the emet, the last time I had a stomach bug...January 8th, 2002...(lol) I was back to the fear again the very next day. I wonder why that is? I mean, I had 2 episodes of v, which could have been worse, and I told myself at the time, "that wasn't so bad...a few short seconds of v, and this lifetime of fear"...but the next day, the beast returned. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


I don't know why we can't talk ourselves out of it rationally, after the episodes???


Anyways, it is nice meeting you, and thank you for wishing us happy holidays!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Charlotte

[chloe]

Neha!!!!!!!!!!


Welcome back Chick! I'm sorry you were unwell - and that your anxiety is still the same - last time I was unwell (back in July 1999) I found that the deed wasn't as bad as I thought but it didn't help my anxiety levels at all...in fact it made it worse for a few months til my a'levels were out the way - after that I was able to focus on myself and what I wanted to do and I was able to calm down a bit...It's only been the past couple of years I've been able to feel a bit calmer about emet etc but that maybe due to seroxat...will have to see what happens when I come off it completely...


Anyway - happy holiday's to you, too. What a nice post to read first...I was wondering where you had got to. Congrats on your grades btw...you must be pleased that all that hard work paid off (even if you did have to face a few demons along the way[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img])


Anyway - I must go - I haven't finished my term at uni yet and have an essay in on thursday which I wanna complete...chat to you soon hun! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


*~* Chloe *~*

[Hale]

Welcome back Neha, I missed you!

[Jenneh]

hahaha oh i LOVE my Neha posts... nice, long, and lovely!! lol


Seasons greetings to you too!!


its gr8 to hear ur still fighting .... however hard it may be.


Keep going,


Jen xxxx

[sunshine16]

Neha!! *HUGZ*


Omg what a day, eh? 2 of my billions of favourite people coming back!! Stephen and Neha...how I've missed you guys! Its so great to hear from you again!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


I don't really have to type much because I am sure you've read my post, actually I know you have because you replied, that wasn't a blonde moment that was a too happy to think moment! lol!! Its great that you have that optimistic outlook on emet and life and everything, and it sounds like you really are regaining control of everything, you know? Which is really great, you will emerge victorious!! I am really happy for you, you sound like your really on the right track!! Good for you, I know you have your ups and downs but it really seems like soon there will be more ups that downs. It's been so long since we've talked, I keep waiting for you to come on MSN gal!!


Okay well I have a lot to say but don't know how to say it all, so I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead. Just know I'm here for you!! I always have been and always will be!! Okay Neha take care kk?


So glad your back!! *HUGZ*


I've missed you!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[NCsmile6]

Oh!!!! It's so good to be home for the holidays and to be welcomed back with open arms!!! You guys...I've missed you too!!! I have said it before, when I'm away from the site, I feel like a part of me is missing. I feel out of the loop and just plain incomplete without you guys!!! Cheesy as that sounds, it's the truth! I'm glad to be amongst you fine people once again!!!!


**HUGS**


Charlotte,


A fellow insomniac!! Nice to meet you too!!I knew there were more of us lurking around here, trying to count sheep or something!!! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]I am the same way. Sometimes I don't get to bed until 3 am. All I have to say during those times is thank goodness for TV Land, Nick @ Nite, and the internet!!! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]I end up taking numerous naps during the day though lol. My sleep cycle is way out of whack, but I can't seem to get to sleep at night. Hence the club membership! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


I too wonder why we can't talk ourselves out of those episodes rationally. I mean, it's so easy to talk myself out of it right now, but if any nausea starts to appear...wham, I'm back to my emetophobic self and the logic...nowhere to be found!


And like you were saying, It's so strange how the beast returns after we tell ourselves that 'it' wasn't so bad, at least not as bad as we had built 'it' up to be, but the next day, we are back to our old ways. I wonder if Sage has any words of wisdom or advicefor this...I mean is there any way we can combat this regression of the monster?


Nice to meet you again, and I LOVE your icon by the way!!! Reminds me of Canada and all the white Christmases I've had there! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Chloe,


Good to see you to girly!!! I haven't seen you on the site in a while!! Anyway,It is weird how it returns, isn't it...I mean what happens between after the time we are sick and the time when we realize the fear hasn't budged...what are we doing, if anything to bring it back?? I guess it's an unsolved mystery...


I am glad you have been feeling calmer though! Good to hear!!! I know how much of a difference being relaxed and at peace can be with this and I am happy you're feeling that way!!


Good luck with your essay and with the rest of your term!!! Hope you see nothing but A's in your future!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Hale,


Hey there!!! We haven't spoken in a while!! Your birthday is coming up, as is mine...yoursis the day after mine, so are you excited about it coming up? Although it ISover a month away lol, it's never to late to make a present wish list[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]. Do you have anything planned yet for your birthday? I'm still overjoyed at it being the holiday season!!


About your icon...I used to read books and watch cartoons as a kidabout characters like Mr. Topsy Turvey, and Little Miss Quite Contrary...does the character on your icon belong to that gang? Because if it does, I have been searching for the name of that cartoon/books!! I loved those as a kid and have a few figurines of them myself!!! I just wish I could remember the name of the series or gang!!!


<FONT color=#cc3399 s

[ejb199]

NEHA - HEY! (BIG HUGS)

is sooooo good to hear from you!! it has been way too long - and i really intented to email/pm you but i havent been on the site for quite a while.

I dont know whether i should be happy or sad that u got sick in October (dont hate that mth coz my b'day is in oct! hehe [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] ) - I know what u mean abt it happening and then thinking - ok it was not toooo bad i guess - and i got thro it- and then straight away panicing abt it agn. I dont know if u read my post in experiences - but ive had this tummy bug too last week and that was pretty horrid. but we are ALL still here and posting and we all need to remember that - for when times go abit pear shaped [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

Congrats on getting u As and B! Thats really really great! and Spanish too - i started a night class learning spanish - its real fun i find.

Neha - i really hope that things get better for you - ref anxiety and OCD. Hopefully in 2005 we will have many more triumphs for all of us. And i promise to keep in touch better! i have been busy at work and buying a new house with jon blah blah blah - but still thats no excuse - espec since i have broadband at home now! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

I hope you have a super-duper Christmas with your family! [img]smileys/smilies_43.gif[/img]

Take care babe (BIG HUGS AGN)!!

LOTS OF LOVE
Ems xxxxxx

[alliecat]

Very nice to see you're back! I don't know if I've ever introduced myself... I'm Allie... been a member here since July, been emetophobic my entire life.


xoxo


Allie

[NCsmile6]

EMMA!!!


Thanks for replying!!


Good to see you too!!! **HUGS** Well, I understand about being so busy, up to your hands and knees in work and things to do!!! I barely had much time for myself last quarter!!!


I did not read your stomach bug!!! Yikes!! I hope you are doing better now!! I don't know if this is true or not, but I heard that once you get the stomach bug, you won't get it for another year. Is that true? I don't know. It may just be a myth I tell myself to make me feel better, but don't we all have those! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Again, sorry you got sick too. It happens to the best of us, doesn't it?


Anyway, may 2005 bring nothing but triumphs for us all!!!! A new year, a new start!!! A new chance to erradicate this fear and all else that stands in our way!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]But do they dare?? [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Look at how far we've come since we both first joined the site!!! I bet we'd never predict we'ed ever have come this far!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Hopefully we'll be farther along the path of recovery in 2005!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]





Allie,


Hi! I don't think we have formally met nor introduced ourselves, but I have read your posts! So, thanks it's nice to formally meet you!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


--Just another graphic!! Santa's looking out for all of us! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Edited by: NCsmile6

[2jo2]

Nice to see you back Neha!!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Josie

[snowangel]

Neha, I havent stop thinking about how well you handled last months experience and you have been a great inspiration to me. You were there for me at a time I needed to talk and I want you to know I am here for you...CANADA RULES[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] Talk to you soon
Snowangel

[mbs730]

Snowangel, perfect name for a day like this. I am in Toronto and the weather sucks lol!



Miriam

</font>

[Galadriel]

Hey Neha!


Good to see you back! The place isn't quite the same without you.[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]Im glad to hear things are going good, tho Im sorry that your OCD is going like it is. Your goals are very good ones, it helps to list what you want to achieve and I bet you can do it.


I so know what you mean about your okay then the nausea hits and its right back to panic mode! It is quite frustrating. Its definately tough to beat!


Im glad to hear you are taking "Neha time" and that you aren't overworking yourself too much! Its very good to see you back.

[snowangel]

He MBS I am in T.O too and the weather does suck (to ost people) but I love the snow !!!!!!!