My story...and a small question

[Sulwen]

Hi there. It's a great relief to find this site, just to know that there are others out there like me...even though acknowledging the fear to this level is enough to make me a little uneasy.

I work at a restaurant, and one of my guests today came out of the men's room and proceeded to describe, in graphic detail, that there was v* in one of the stalls and asked if we could get someone to clean it up. Reasonable behavior, I know, but dear god it freaked me out. I was trying not to breathe for the entire rest of my shift, terrified that the air was contaminated.

This is really not that unusual an occurrence, and didn't motivate me to seek help at all on its own. But then, later this evening, I was reading a really moving article about a woman with PTSD who had successfully gone through therapy and had a much improved quality of life without the constant anxiety. That, plus the incident today, prompted a quick Google search. And here I am.

Many of the symptoms I'm reading about here are very familiar. However, I do seem to have one particular quirk I haven't seen mentioned yet. I have absolutely no problem eating out, possibly because I've worked in restaurants for almost ten years now. My fear is my own cooking. I very, very rarely buy meat and cook it myself - like, maybe once or twice a year. I'm terrified that I'll cook it wrong and make myself sick. And because I overcompensate so much, it ends up way overdone and tasteless. I really wish I could get over this...anyone else do the same thing?

[afraidnp]

I cant eat meat or chicken or fish because I'm terrified that it may give me food poisoning although the chances are minimal.... but I do over cook all my meat chicken and fish, I'm scared of giving other people food poisoning and i wash my hands repeatedly when cooking too...
I think the reason you may be afraid of your own cooking because if you were ever to make yourself ill from your cooking, you could only blame yourself for making you sick, (although seeing as you have worked in restaraunts so long I'm sure you know all the proper food handling practices and that red meat has little to no risk as long as it is handled properly, considering people can eat red meat pretty much raw with no illness resulting... chicken I can understand more of a concern as you must be so careful with it). The likely hood of you making yourself ill from cooking realistically is very very slim as you are in control of washing your hands before preparation and ensuring food is refridgerated...
You should start very small and start trying your own cooking, cooking as you would in the restaraunt...
Either way, we all have our quirks in relation to this phobia... and it makes life difficult!!

[olschesky]

i don't have the restaurant food issue either........also don't have the home cooking one..........kind of wish i did.....unlike a lot of emets i tend to eat when i get anxious........so i constantly worry about my weight.

i quit eating meat 15 years ago....not from emet......my mom had colon cancer and i found out just how bad it can be on your system.......so i do lots of tofu, seafood etc.

maybe you could talk to the chef at your work and ask him about the safety part of cooking......i know i learned alot while i was waitressing.....did it for 15 years

also i used to worry about air being contaminated for sv......until i found this forum and learned it's only passed by touching ........sooo that has relieved my anxiety by about 80 percent......made my life a whole lot easier..........

welcome and good luck

[yinyang79]

I normally don't have a problem eating out either, unless I'm already having a panic attack, then I'll just opt to stay home. However, when I'm going through a bad emet phase I really won't go out to restaurants. As far as fearing my own cooking, I never really thought about it until now. But I can kinda see it. I stay away from cooking most seafood, because I think I'm going to do it wrong. The same with pork. I can never tell if it's done, and then constantly ask whoever I'm eating with, "Is this done? Are you sure it's done?" So I guess I kinda fear if I cooked it right. It's probably why I never eat rare meat, b/c I'm afraid it won't sit well on my stomach. And also why I always choose to cook chicken, I know when that's done, and I usually don't over cook it.