hey everyone! im new here...my name is gaby and ive been an emetophobe since i was 9 years old...i think it was caused by a guy named matt davis who v* literally everyday at lunchtime while i was eating. i rmemember praying everyday that he would move away and finally he did. but now my life is ruined because of him. i have hit a new low....i am feeling completely hopeless and im letting this phobia get the best of me. last night i went on the subway, where i have my usual panic attacks but this time i almost walked in a pile of v* on the floor. i jumped off the train and panicked for a few minutes, then i felt fine. i couldnt believe it that i was ok after five minutes...this was the NASTIEST v* too....and i was ok i thought that maybe i was defeating this phobia. then today i went to ratemyvomit.com and looked at HORRIBLE Pictures....some of the grossest shit ive ever seen...and i was totally okay...just a little queasy but nothing too bad. i was feeling great...and now all of sudden i am having a huge anxiety attack and iam TERRIFIED of the idea of ever going on public transportation again..even planes. before i would go on whatever and just pray no one throws up but now i really refuse to go on any public trans ever again. i read a bunch of v* stories on airplanes for some reason and now i am panicking soo bad and never want to go again. how am i going to snap out this?? its taking over my life and sometimes i seriously want to die because i dont know if ill everbe cured and if ill ever live a normal worry free life. i have no money, i cant afford a psychologist. im considering hypnosis but im afraid it wont work. PLEASE SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME THE CURE. im ready bc if not...i dont know how much longer i can live. im a happy person seriously...i could be the happiest person in the world if it werent for this!! i just dont see an end...i cant handle it. it breaks my heart bc i want to have children with my boyfirned one day but i am so terrified....i know kids puke all the time without warning...how can i deal with that? but today i looked at pics and just thought to myself...its just food and water...its not so gross...why cant i think that all the time?? if u showed me a pic of v* but told me it was diarrhea i wouldnt even care! what is it ab the fact that its vomit that makes me so crazy? i hate this phobia with all my heart and i want to destroy it with every fiber of my being. im determined...but how? please someone give me a clue...
thanks