Minor Breathrough

[nikinlove927]

Fair Warning: *GRAPHIC* I will not star out words V* or N* Please do not read if you are sensitive to detail about Vomit. =]


Okay...so I have been doing EMDR for about 3 weeks. And I wasn't really convinced that it was helping. Anyways, last Friday nite I babysat for my Best friend. Her son was asleep by the time I got there and so it was pretty stress free. My boyfriend came with me and it was a nice nite. Anyways, my girl gets home and she is wasted! No surprise really! I have always been the one to keep a watch on her when we used to party together and I have been around her many many times when she would vomit. So we go outside and smoke a cig, and she was telling me about her fun nite. Well we were about to go back inside and she said "oh man, im totally gunna puke tonight" This didnt surprise me because she often makes herself sick when she is drunk to feel better. So I asked "Would u mind if I came in the bathroom and watched you?" I know! U prob think Im crazy! But I looked at it as a way to confront my fear and to do some exposure therapy. Technically I was still in control and I could leave if i felt the need to do so. Anyways, I follow her in to the bathroom and I stood with my back to her because I didnt want to see her actual vomit! (ewww) Well she stuck her finger down her throat, coughed for a min....and then WHAM! I hear her retch and vomit in to the toilet. Im not gunna lie, it was gross and my first instinct was to bolt the hell outta there. (She is very aware of my phobia and was allowing me to do this as an experiment, so she was very helpful!) She started laughing, and soon I did too because she was hunched over, barfing and I was making funny comments about what i was hearing. She talked to me during the whole process. Which lasted like 10min. I was so proud that I was able to stay and keep her company. My biggest fear is to be ill and no one to be around, so I thought her having company would be nice. So she finished puking, brushed her teeth and she was fine! It was really good for me to witness that puking will not kill me nor make me want to die. Yea its gross, it sounds nasty and im sure it tastes awful. but the whole thing lasted 5-10min. Sorry that this might sound uber gross to some of you, but I find this to be a huge stepping stone. I think I am closer to overcoming my fear of others being sick near me. However, I am NO where close to getting over MY fear of vomiting! That might take a lil longer. Anyways, I hope who ever reads this realizes that sometimes facing your fear does help! =] I wish everyone the best luck in overcoming this phobia, I am beginning to think that there is hope!

[Mecca]

That is a very big deal! Congrats! =] I did that once with my best friend a few years back. She has a chronic illness that makes her sick alot. I held her hand and took her to the bathroom and I could hear it gurgling in her stomach and everything. What surprised me was that almost every girl in the bathroom was like "what the fuck is that?? EWWW!" and then ran out. I was the only one that stayed and it didn't bother me in the least. This is a very major step to overcoming your phobia, I am very happy for you!

[BiggerPicture]

Wow! That is so brave! Im in the process of CBT and even that freaks me out, but to be there with someone is what i aspire to be able to do. Well done you!!!

[JadeNight]

Wow! Congratulations! That's a big step! I'm glad you got through it perfectly fine

[dancinintherain]

Haha imagine if she were a friend that didn't have any idea about your phobia. I wonder what she would've said when you asked to watch

Good for you! That's quite an (icky) accomplishment!

[thebetterbug]

Wow that is a HUGE step I don't think I could take at this point. The sound is really something that bothers me even though I can't really remember the last time I heard it. You're brave.

[nikinlove927]

thanks everyone for the supportive comments! =] Sorry I have no responded sooner...but i have been making an effort not to log on here as often because lately I feel like it makes it worse...but I try to stick to the success stories section! =]

Hope everyone is doing well! xoxox