Im really sorry to start a post again, i think i have done this now every night. I feel really sick again as i usually do, and im sure its just anxiety related but.... Well, tomorrow i have to move out of my uni halls and make a 300 mile train journey home, so i cant be ill, that has automaticallly started me worrying that im going to get ill. Also my dad came to collect all my stuff together, and all the stuff that normally makes me feel better and safe, like having my tv on when i sleep and a bin by my bed just in case is gone, and spare bedding, washing powder in case need to do washing. i kept my disinfectant spray with me though lol


I am sure this is anxiety related, but ive analysed everything i did today, i had kfc today, maybe it wasnt done right. one of the bits was pink, the breast bit was white and really hot, but when i peeled the skin off another piece it was pink, and me being stupid still ate the skin, my mum said its probably cos not all meat is white, it depends on what part of the chicken it is. then i thought, maybe i didnt wipe my hands with my antibacterial wipes properly before i ate. It's driving me insane.


I've been usuing these boards ages, reading but only recently started posting, before then i just used to tell my boyfriend everything and be panicked to him every night. he said it was getting him down and he couldnt cope, i didnt understand why. Now, from seeing how often i have posted and how down ive been when ive posted i can see why and i feel terrible as i know ive ruined our relationship.


all i want is to get better