I have joined an emetophobia community in the past when I was in the middle of the throes of the worst my phobia had ever been. I posted there for about a week, freaked out because I was afraid of being judged and never went back again. I'm a weird emet. I can drink moderately(sometimes to stumbling) without being afraid, I do not overwash my hands, and I trust restaurant food for the most part as long as the place looks fairly clean. However if anyone cooks for me outside of professional establishments other than myself or my mother I pick at it for four hours and then throw it out when it gets cold.

I've been an emet since I was seven years old. I am 23 now. That's a LONG time to be afraid. I became an emet after watching The Abyss of all things. I sometimes want to challenge myself to watching that movie, because I hear it is spectacularly awful, and I feel like maybe if I watch it and it's horrible, then I will laugh myself stupid and the phobia will be gone.

I used to be afraid of seeing others do the deed, but I went on a camping trip where everyone was drinking to ridiculous lengths, and when people started..you know..it turned out to be ridiculous, hilarious, and since then I have had absolutely no issues with people being s*** from drinking.

At this particular moment, I have caught a cold from my boyfriend. No big deal. Seems like any illness I get I can power through with pride and my pain threshold is ridiculously high as long as there isn't any n***** involved. I gave it to my mother, however....whom I live with. And she has been lying on the couch all day with n***** and I'm driving her NUTS with "ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU GONNA BE S***!? DO YOU NEED ANY PEPTO? TUMS? PEPCID? ANYTHING? OH PLEASE GOD DON'T DO IT"

However I realize if she had the dreaded sv she would probably have done it already, because doesn't it usually hit you like a sack of bricks? Even if it's FOOD POISONING? I have gotten SO much better with this fear lately that most days I don't even notice it. But this is too much right now, because I'm still fuzzy headed from having the worst cold I've had in years and sleep deprivation from the sinus pressure that I cannot differentiate between reality and not reality at the moment. I hope this makes some sense.

Anyway, I figured I would at least introduce myself before I stated my problem, and I seriously hope I can find some comfort here. Everyone in my life thinks I am absolutely insane and weird, and most laugh. They mean well, but it really does hurt. I know that no one is going to laugh at me here.