How can I go to school with this?

[Claire-]

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm 13. I'll just tell you a bit about my past to help you understand my phobia.
I've suffered from stomach aches for 'no reason' since I was about 8. I shut my thumb in a car door about a year later and had an operation. Two weeks later, as i was walking up the school drive, I v* three times. Two days later, I had to go back to school, but I was really scared that I was still ill and would be sick again at school. They forced me into school (The teachers, my mum was understanding), and that's when this all started I think. I say that's when it started because when I was about 7 I was at a theme park and a boy v* in front of me and I didn't care (How did I not care!!??). Anyway, I had a really hard time in years 5 and 6, and the teachers were horrible to me, they dragged me into school, and I mean dragged, whilst I was kicking and screaming. I didn't get into school most days, and I was always worried about going home because my dad did not understand my fear, and would shout at me. In year 7, I was fine for about 2 weeks, because I was enjoying school. But then when I came out of an English lesson, somebody had JUST v* and the smell was disgusting. I felt sick, panicky, like I HAD to get out or else I was going to DIE or something stupid. Then I was only going to school for an hour a day, and I still couldn't do that.
I'm home educated now, but after Christmas I HAVE to go back to school, and I'm scared that I'll be scared.. If you know what I mean. I really really want to go back, but how can I when I'm so scared? If anyone else had had to go through this, please, please help me because I don't know how I'm going to cope.

Claire xx

[olschesky]

i had a time in my schooling when i "couldn't" go to school i would take the bus into the school....get off and walk home. my mom took me several drs. one who put me in the hospital and ran lots of tests.....ugh....of course they found nothing.....this was years before i knew that emet had a name.....i just know i felt sick and was afraid to go to school. i did go back.....i fought the fear for the first few weeks and it got easier. i got more involved with my friends and got into school groups.....like cheerleading, etc. you just need to make yourself go.......think of all the thousands of kids that go to school everyday and don't get sick......the chance of this happening is really slim. if you get to school and get your mind occupied on your lessons or some fun project your emet will take a back seat and won't be such a bother. i'm not saying it may not pop into your head....but hopefully you will not give it so much thought and power in your life.

school years can be fun......the work part sucks but the friendships are great.

push yourself .......don't spend the next month worrying about it......make plans with your new classmates for things to do when you come back.......

you can do this

[Claire-]

You're making me cry! Just because all my friends have been so kind to me, and telling me they've never been sick at school, and I know that I'm missing out on so much not being there, I just want to go back! I wish I didn't have this fear!! And i don't believe in myself, but i really need to because it wont be long till I have to go back (To choose what I want to do) and my mum can't teach me GCSE level, which just makes me more terrified because it means i HAVE to go back, ugh! Thank you though xx

[KaydeeJayde]

I went through all of my schooling (12 years) without ever catching anything myself (apart from the odd cold), and I only saw someone v* in front of me once, when I was in grade 2. I hope it gets easier for you. I know there's not much anyone on here can say that will make it easier, but perhaps we can offer you some support and everyone most definitely understands what you're going through.