If you've read some of my posts, you know that I recently started a job at an elementary school helping out a little boy who has been diagnosed with autism. He's in 3rd grade, and 9 years old. He is ADORABLE and I love my job, but I do not love the fact that I am in an elementary school.

I was in 3rd grade the last time that I threw up, plus I see schools as dens of infection. (GRAPHIC PART!!!) in the elementary school that I went to, when kids said that their stomachs hurt, a trash can was placed next to them and class continued until they threw up and then they were allowed to go to the nurse. Kids commonly threw up in the halls, it was simply covered up with paper towels and cleaned up later. I had to literally dance around vomit while we were practicing for a school performance after a kid got sick on stage. The ONLY time it was cleaned up quickly was if it was at lunch. It was a common event. And people wonder WHY I have this phobia?! (GRAPHIC PART OVER!!!) Needless to say, elementary schools are BAD places for me. I have a hard time believing that other elementary schools are different from mine, even though I know that they are.

Now I'm going back to an elementary school and I'm facing trial by fire. On last Tuesday 4 kids threw up in school. I didn't see it, hear it, I wasn't anywhere near it, I just heard about it from teachers. Then, today, a kid threw up in the trash can during computer time. Unlike the previous times, I was RIGHT there. It was actually strange to see how the kid didn't seem upset by it, the teacher's only concern was the mess. It was just so odd to see how differently they react. (Oh, and a kid was in class with pink eye?! Poor kid did nothing but rub his eye all day, which is how the infection spreads.)

My heart raced, but I kept it under control. I was able to focus on helping my kid focused on his class work. The other kids talked about it some "one time I threw up and..." but that didn't bother me at all, I just ignored it. It happened in the morning, but I kept it under control all through school. I didn't eat my lunch, but that was because I forgot it at home. (I could have eaten school food, but I didn't eat that crap back when I was still in school!) I did eat some later, being more careful than normal, but I still ate! Naturally, hands had been washed several times before that. My legs did start to shake, but not until I got home. I've been doing very well, but now it is starting to catch up with me. Off to find a good distraction!

Long story short, I've gotten good at holding back the panic, but not fully getting rid of it.