I think I realized what my first step to recovery could be.

[NatalyKay]

Accepting that I'm alive. I know how weird that might sound, but I can't ever accept the fact that I AM a living human being. The fact that I can't accept that, messes up my mindset and then makes me think that I'm going to be sick. Everyday I just think to myself "am I really alive? I don't feel like I'm alive. I wonder if that means I'm going to be sick later today..." and then I panic.

Does anyone else feel that way? Like you're just living in a never ending dream?

[jkl81]

Yeah in a weird way I feel like that. But you are alive, I need to remind myself of the same often.

[turbokinetic]

So when you aren't feeling alive, is it like you can't feel your body is working in a PHYSICAL sense; or is it a more psychological or spiritual thing? Every time I sit still, i am reminded of being alive.

When I lay still in a quiet room, my senses focus on the physical feelings of being alive. I notice my heart beating, gently, against the soft cotton of my shirt. I'm breathing in cool air, and out with it heat from the energy inside me. As I become more relaxed I feel the gentle constant motion inside my belly. All these physical feelings are positive and good and give me great respect and love for life.

Sincerely,
David

[rachelj]

I really do get what you mean. Living with these kind of issues can make me go so into myself I forget to actually have a life rather than just surviving day to day. Sometimes the "real" world feels so unreal because everything is moving on and I'm kinda standing still

[NatalyKay]

It's more like a spiritual thing I guess. Just that feeling that you realize that you are in fact alive and have to live through hard times, I guess it's just scary and I sometimes live in denial about it..

Feeling alive scares the hell out of me, because then it makes me realize that I am going to one day die. I'm not really too afraid of death, but I don't want to die...

[turbokinetic]

It's more like a spiritual thing I guess. .......it makes me realize that I am going to one day die. ...

Nobody wants to die; that's completely normal.

I don't consider life to be "temporary," but also realize it's in no way guaranteed.

So enjoy every day!

David