Struggling still but getting closer (My story~)
Hello there~
First off, I was thrilled to find out that there was a whole online community for those who were struggling with this surprisingly common phobia. It's amazing to read other's stories, and it's absolutely awe-inspiring to read stories from those who managed to overcome this. So, here's my story for those who are interested:
The only years of my life that I was sick was when I was much younger, but it the fear really blossomed in grade six, around the time where it would barely happen. One night I awoke to find my stomach rather upset, so I tried reading to calm my nerves. Every time my stomach would lock, I would begin to hyperventilate until they subsided. Eventually, I did get sick that night, but I was fine afterwards. I never hyperventilated like that until around a year later.
My memories of that day are as crystal clear as the sky on a balmy day. I was walking to school when this queer bubbling sensation rose in my throat. Thinking that I was going to be sick, I rushed back home and called my mom, and she allowed me to stay home that day.
From then on, I simply got worse. I was missing school by the week-load. My symptoms of hyperventilating rose to chewing my hair (many times ripping it out by the roots) clawing at my arms, and eventually not being even able to walk. I was panic attacking all over the place. My parents seemed ready to kick me out to the curb, but they couldn't.
Naturally, this landed me in the hospital. It was a painfully slow process, and even now I still harbour a burning hate for those freaking people who were supposed to take care of us (not the doctors; these people were appointed to take us around to the cafeteria and stuff, and who we were supposed to go to if we weren't feeling well).
I used to live in Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) then. We were planning to move to P.E.I anyways, and then my mother believed that the island would help my health.
Amazingly, it did.
I stopped with the frantic breathing and the hair chewing. I can walk wherever I want to go. Yet, I am still not fully healed. That's why when I considered putting this in the success stories forum, I decided against it. It still affects me. Sometimes I still have to leave school if it gets too much for me to handle. If I witness anyone getting sick, it feels like my mind is trying to depart with my body; though, strangely enough, I'm perfectly fine with reading about it, no matter how graphic. Sometimes I still have to sit down and breathe deeply, confirming with myself that I wasn't going to be ill. Though, I can proudly say that I was a lot better than I was 3 years ago.
So, that's basically my story, top to bottom. One of the things that have majorly helped is getting into Buddhism...after developing a larger interest in the way, my panic attacks have lessened even more. It's great to find a walking stick.
I hope that one day I can turn this into a success story. I also hope that everyone else who posts their stories on here can eventually turn them into ones of success.
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Originally Posted by ann32
