Glad I'm here

[easty-b]

Hi, just registered today so by way of introduction thought I'd share a bit.

Like a lot of people on here I had kids throwing up in front of me at school, I was always repulsed by it but not to the point of having a phobia. That started when I was watching tv one evening and burped up sick, I went to the bathroom and nothing happened but the panic was unreal. I've never really recovered since. I've had a couple of stomach bugs since but that has only made it worse.

I find eating out really difficult and some days even eating anything. I've also got a bit of social anxiety and the worse thing I can think of is vomiting in company, so before a night out I don't usually eat properly for fear of this. Then during the night I don't have enough energy to make the most of it which sucks. If anyone tells me I "don't look right" I'll panic. If there is any danger of me being sick, someone around me feeling, being or having been, I'll go to the bathroom and have a full on panic attack.

I've found that friends and medical professionals don't take this seriously at all. I'm not after sympathy votes, not with social anxiety! Just people not doing stupid things like not washing their hands, eating off worktops or straight out of the fridge, or asking me why I won't eat something that's fallen on the floor would really help.

It's been good to read your posts and identify with them.

[Midnight Dream]

Hey
Welcome to IES! I totally understand what you just said especially when you said that you will panic when someone says that you dont look right. I get this, its so annoying, its just like they say it and then you think you just totally said the wrong thing! The *v in company is just like me so I dont eat before I go out with friends or go to College and tbh I dont eat when I am at college or out with friends. It's party to do with my eating disorder. I have Emet Welcome once again, I only joined a couple of days ago, it was hard at first as I wasn't used to talking about my emet but now a few days in, it gets easier I think im pretty lucky with people understanding, due to the fact that my CAMHS worker (my mental health nurse) suffers with Emet as well so its really nice that she understands. But dont worry we all understand on here

[hairyfairy]

I know all about that kind of fear, because my late mother used to tell me that I looked unwell all the time. I didn`t have a total panic attack, but it used to make me very anxious when she started going on about how ill I looked. I realise now that she was just playing mind games with me, because no-one else ever said that I looked ill.I`ve no idea why she did this, but I think she felt that making me worried was giving her some kind of power over me. It`s too late to confront her about it as she has been dead since 1988, I just remember that she was a strange person in some ways.