This phobia is ruining my life!

[Peeperchini]

Hello everyone,
My name is Sarah and I have been living with emetophobia since I was 14. I am not sure what started it....but I still have it and I feel it's making life hard dealing with it on a daily basis. I am looking for support/help to help me rid me of my phobia so I can resume living a normal life.

It started as a freshman in high school. I couldn't even go to class because I would have a full blown panic attack....worrying about myself vomiting there, or in public. I felt safe at home. I couldn't go anywhere without having a panic attack. It got to the point at that time where I wouldn't eat either, I would just sip water all day. I got so weak and lost a lot of weight. My grandmother ended up taking me to my physician. I panicked when i got there and the doctor had to see me out in the parking lot, because I couldn't get out of the car.

Anxiety runs deeply in my family, so the doctor decided to put me on anxiety medication. It really did help with controlling the anxiety I felt out in public. I couldn't even go to concerts....I had to move seats so I wasn't sitting in the middle of a bunch of people. I would be afraid of someone getting sick around me and no way to run from the situation fast enough if I needed to. I would get all panicked and felt like I couldn't breathe.

Well, the anxiety medication still works okay to this day to help control my panic attacks....but when a terrifying situation arises where someone or myself throws up around me, it doesn't work. I will still have extreme panic attacks. I even feel an attack arising if someone around me says that their stomach hurts. I constantly question over and over if they're alright. It really irritates them.

Well, I just recently got engaged to a wonderful man and we plan on having kids in the future. Just last night, my boyfriend....I believe he ate something bad and he had horrible diahrrea and he threw up all over the bathroom floor. I had went into another bedroom and shut the door....I panicked. Just hearing him in there with the door shut made me gag uncontrollably. He was so sick....asking me to come help him. I just couldn't....I sat there shaking like no other....my heart was racing....almost to the point where I thought I may pass out. I just couldn't go in there...

I wanted to help so badly, I didn't like to see him like that and I wanted him to be there for me, like he is there for me. I took a lorezapam (I have that too, to help with the panic attacks) to help calm me down. It calmed me down a little bit and I tried to go in there to help, but I couldn't get past the doorway. I really tried, but I couldn't. The panic was extreme. I had to flee the situation.

I don't want to rely on anxiety medications any longer....they don't help when I actually come into contact with my phobia. I still worry about it on a daily basis, wherever I go, etc. I hate it controlling my life like this. I want to have a wonderful marriage and to have kids to take care of someday. I feel like a failure and want to move on past this to live a normal life.

It's so good to know that there are others like me, feeling the same things I do. Any support/help that I can get would be greatly appreciated.

-Sarah

[olschesky]

welcome to the forum, sarah. sounds like you had a pretty exhausting night. i feel pretty much the same was as you......i'm much older and married, but still can't handle/take care of someone who has a sv.......i get way too anxious and panicky and am no good to anyone. if someone v from something that isn't contagious i can handle it ok.....still dont like it, but i dont have to hide....lol.

my husband and i never wanted kids so i luckily got to pass on that. there are tons of emet moms here though that can answer your questions and fears.

does your boyfriend know about your emet? i just told my husband last year.......mainly because i didn't even know it had a name for years. i was still really nervous about telling him so i showed him this forum and let him read some of the posts, information, etc. so he could maybe better understand just how terrified i can get and to also understand when i'm "not able" to go somewhere. he's been great about it and it actually lowered my anxiety knowing that if we do something together and i need to leave he will understand.....hasn't happened yet

hope you find lots of help, info and comfort here.....it's been great for me

[Peeperchini]

Thanks ol!
He does know about it, but he doesn't understand it. He thinks it's a weird phobia and he doesn't know it's common. I should have him read some of the posts on here, maybe he can understand a little better. After I take a few of my "chill pills" (Lorezapam). I started to inch my way to the bathroom to help him...however he had cleaned it all up before I could get up the nerve to go in and try.

We love kids and definitely want them in the future, I'm just scared to death of morning sickness and not being able to be there for them when they have a sv.

I really is a relief to know that there are so many others out there that have the same problem as me. It helps to talk with others on how to handle situations, and what others do to overcome these situations!

Thanks again!

[stessedout]

Hi Sarah,

I am brand new here too, and boy can I relate to your story. It's the exact same for me!!! These days, because it is stomach flu season, I am literally obsessed by my fear... makes it really hard to continue to function.

I don't have much wisdom to offer, because I feel just about as helpless as you do I think; just know that you are not alone, and there appears to be many more people suffering of this like us!! Wow. Surely there will be some information on this board that might be helpful in coping. One thing is that some periods of my life were better than other periods in this regard; it's sometimes better and I feel I can do normal things like travel a bit and eat out...

hang in there! you are not alone!

[manxgirl]

Hi I know exactly how it feels to have it controlling your life-I've had to leave university and change to a degree at home partly because of this phobia. I have a part time job in a pharmacy and this is causing me a lot of anxiety at the minute with it being the season for bugs. It is also affecting my future career plans as I am interested in working in educational psychology but don't know if I could work with children/in a school. I hate having to plan my life around it